Ark Music Factory

ARK (Association for Retarded Kids) Music Factory is officially a Community, Music/Entertainment Channel and Independent Record Label based in Los Angeles, California. (ARK community is for everyone! - Kids, teens and child molesters!) But the actual purpose of ARK Music is being the Ytask of Web 2.0 by providing cheap fap fuel for fugly old pedophiles while hiding itself behind a seemingly legit business idea. ARK makes most of its IRL profit by "producing" the original Ark written songs of talentless upper-class white chicks for astronomical prices. Because of the realization that money can still be made off of old media, ARK Factory is expanding into the TV and Radio businesses. But ARK basically comes down to this manifesto: Use little children for profit like a pimp uses a hoe.

Music

                                   Have eyebleach close hand.

Black Plague

This page relies entirely on facts. Fact Cat knows this because of his learnings. Sorry for the lack of dick jokes.

Gotta have cereal!

• 2nd most viewed video on Youtube.

• Justin Bieber:Electric Boogaloo 2

• No Lulz.

• Over 9000 dislikes.

• Gotta have cereal.

• Has yet to be raped

• Which seat do you take?

• People have liked the video

Rebecca Black

The so good it's great song Friday by meta Justin Bieber has thrust young, talented, and attractive singer-songwriter Rebecca Black into public attention. Of course, like all self respecting white people, everything was paid for by her parents. The lyrics, recording, and low quality music video (I detect Sony Vegas was used to edit) were all put on mommy and daddy's tab. The "hit" single has now officially gone viral a month after its recording and production, thanks to Tosh.0. In it she is shown joyriding around without a seat belt, in her friends' dads car. The video also includes rapping done by a 32-year-old black man. It is important to know that said black man was only in the video under a condition of parole. What do you get when you put together well-written music, spotless production, and a well fitting and directed music video? Sure as Hell not this delicate slice of Fred Phelps's scrotum.

Hopefully, she will follow the same path as all other over-privileged attention whores. She's donating to Japan y'all. How bad could she be?

A Sociopsychological Analysis (With the words of Rebecca Black in green)

Dr. Doakes gives his take on the profoundly metaphorical lyrics contained in Friday. Keep in mind that her parents paid $2,000 for these:

Rebecca Black’s song “Friday” may be the most profound and accurate representation of being a teenager since J.D. Salinger’s “The Catcher in the Rye”. Sadly, Ms. Black’s music video for “Friday” has recently come under fire. I, for one, see the music video as a misrepresentation of the songs lyrics - it has a message that needs to be taken and accounted for.

Seven a.m., waking up in the morning
Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs
Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal
Seein’ everything, the time is goin’
Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’
Gotta get down to the bus stop
Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends)

Ms. Black is making a statement about the monotonous schedule of life that teenagers long to escape. Cereal symbolizes the childhood she has left behind for this more structured existence. She must have her cereal, because it is one of the last bastions of a childhood coming closer and closer to an end as adulthood looms. This is proven by the next two lines, in which she cries out for the world to slow down. However, this monotonous day is broken by a surprise encounter with her friends. She is so surprised and overjoyed by the event that she repeats (My friends) for further emphasis on the change.

Kickin’ in the front seat
Sittin’ in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?

This short verse is a metaphor for the social anxiety almost every teen feels; it’s alternately a comment on the terrifyingly vast unknown of one's role in society after school. The double meaning is ingenious. Her friends wait expectantly for her decision, but she feels nervous. Who should I associate myself with? Would they be mad if I sat in the back or front? Ms. Black clearly feels uncomfortable in social situations. By asking what seat she can take, Ms. Black contemplates what her place in society will be when she grows up. Will there even be a place for her? Will she be in the front seat mainly with one group or in the back with another? The possibilities are open and it scares her. At the same time, "Kickin' in the front seat/ Sittin' in the back seat", shows the eternal class struggle that she has noticed in her life. Those "Kickin' in the front seat" are the upper class and they life of luxury they enjoy. Those "Sittin' in the back seat" are the working class and their inability to enjoy their position ("Kickin'" as Ms. Black metaphorically calls it) and hence are always sitting.

It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin’ down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend

Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin’ forward to the weekend

Here Ms. Black confronts the fears of the future in a negative and possibly self-destructive way. She looks forward to the weekend, as there is no structure and one is able to do what one wants to do. However, to forget the agony of the train of adulthood barrelling towards her, she spends her time partying (what kind of party, we are not told) until she forgets her troubles. She looks forward to the weekend as an escape from the troubles and fear that permeate her young life.

7:45, we’re drivin’ on the highway
Cruisin’ so fast, I want time to fly
Fun, fun, think about fun
You know what it is
I got this, you got this
My friend is by my right, ay
I got this, you got this
Now you know it

“Cruisin’ so fast” is more evidence for dealing with the pressures of the future in a negative way. One believes she almost wants the car to crash as to release her from the prison of her future. Instead of dwelling on this, however, she thinks about fun; maybe if she thinks of fun these fears will vanish. She tries to tell herself things will be alright. I've got it, Ms. Black reassures herself, I have friends by my side who can help me through this fear. And thus she believes it for a while. On another note, her friend being on her right is symbolic of her conservative values, and rejection of liberal politics, not even noticing her friend on the left.

Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin’)
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes after … wards
I don’t want this weekend to end

Yesterday was oppression, today is freedom. Who wouldn’t be excited about that? Society can no longer restrain her from following her own path, whatever that may be. The weekend may also symbolise retirement, after years of work she would be able to settle down and do what she wants with her life. Tomorrow is Saturday, the complete release from structure. She does not want to live the time of hard work between school and retirement, she just wants to go from having few responsibilities to having even fewer at the end of life. She doesn’t want this period of freedom to end.

R-B, Rebecca Black
So chillin’ in the front seat (In the front seat)
In the back seat (In the back seat)
I’m drivin’, cruisin’ (Yeah, yeah)
Fast lanes, switchin’ lanes
Wit’ a cop on my side (Woo!)
(C’mon) Passin’ by is a school bus in front of me
Makes tick tock, tick tock, wanna scream
Check my time, it’s Friday, it’s a weekend
We gonna have fun, c’mon, c’mon, y’all

This rapper, whose name is Patrice Wilson, represents a voice of reason trying to help Ms. Black through her fears. By saying she is in both the front AND back seats, he suggests that Ms. Black can reconcile her social anxiety by not choosing one side alone, embracing both and not letting any become her favorite. However, he feels angered about the pressures society puts on its teens to achieve everything. He sees a school bus in front of him and, like a bomb, wants to explode into screams. It should be Friday already, so those poor kids can have some of that ever-lasting pressure taken off! Also notice how one is only really "chillin'" in the "front seat", again explaining how one can only have fun and truly be free while in the upper class social structure.

It’s Friday, Friday
Gotta get down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend
Friday, Friday
Gettin’ down on Friday
Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend

With the repetition of this chorus, one realizes the emphasis she is putting on how everyone is looking forward to the end of the pressures and structures that society imposes. Her final point is that no one enjoys the structure, not fully. We all look forward to the weekends. Many people also look forward to the end of work, when life’s Saturday comes around and death awaits. Reading these lyrics one may think it is a simple song about a girl having fun on Friday, but with all genius that is not the case. Rebecca Black has created a form of manifesto stating that everyone dislikes the pressures of society and long for the time of freedom and lack of responsibilities at the Saturday and Sunday of life: retirement and childhood respectively. Between them is the vast majority of life, work that doesn’t end until the metaphorical weekend. The point Rebecca Black is trying to make is not that life will be horrible, but that life is hard, but it’s worth staying around till the end, because then you are allowed to finally have some fun. This is an admirable work that should be further analyzed from other viewpoints; I’m sure there is more hidden information below the surface, crawling to escape it's prison, like the enigmatic Ms. Black herself.

TL:DR - Get a calendar.