Jared Milton

Let this set the tone for the rest of this article.

Jared Milton is some cross-eyed faggot who, on March 16, 2011, uploaded a video declaring a war on "Justin Bieber Haters". Apparently, that didn't go so well, because on April 20, he uploaded this video bawwwwing about how people are prank calling him, how he has recieved numerous death threats, how people hacked his site, and how his only supporter is Justin Bieber's PR guy. He also claimed that his father works for microsoft, and that he is going to backtrace everyone who fucked with him. He also declares that he has already won, and that we're all fucked.

The Video

The video that started it all.

"MY DAD WILL HACK YOU"

It would seem that the constant trolling has finally gotten to little Jared. On June 4th of 2011, Jared uploaded a video threatening the trolls with hacks, courtesy of his dad, thus elevating himself in the eyes of /b/ to official lolcow status. In other words, it's the same old song and dance, and as usual, Jared has yet to deliver on any of his threats.

Ever since, he has been constantly flooded with prank calls, death threats, and accusations of being inbred. Jared remains undeterred, however, determined to stand up for oppressed shemale child stars worldwide in the face of non-stop ridicule. Fight on, Jared, fight on.

Deleted YouTube Faggotry

Though dear Milton deleted these videos from his youtube channel pretty quickly for obvious reasons, his genius dad forgot to give him some important internet advice; once it's on the internet it stays on the internet.

	“	Pure Talent	„

	“	I'm not gay, Honest!	„

Previous Video | Next Video

Trolling

Trolling this little cocksucker is incredibly easy, apparently. If you can't think of anything, here are some suggestions:

• Call him a nigger
• Hack his site
• Insult Justin Bieber
• Prank call him
• Threaten to murder him
• Send him pizzas
• Threaten his family
• Send him Korans
• Ask him why he killed the dog
• Call him inbred

The Adventures of Jared in Tinychat

This is happening right now. Expect updates.

After repeated trolling, Jared invited /b/ to a Tinychat on June 13, 2011, where after a brief exchange with trolls, he wrapped a belt around his neck, and pretended to hang himself from his bed. Of course, because Jared is a fucking fatass, the various Anons in the chat doubted that this was real, saying that his sheer weight would have broken his bed. He's also too tall to actually be able to hang himself from a bed that's about only five feet off the ground.

He then started yet another Tinychat and invited /b/ to it, and spent the next several hours threatening to hack everyone in it, whining about people texting him with death threats, and his ED article. After crying, asking people to fight him, and threatening to hack fucking everyone including 4chan and ED, Jared openly admitted he faked his suicide for attention and to get the trolls to stop.

I'm gonna kick all the haters! About missing Pics

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  We wish.
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  Just hanging around.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

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  Jared turning away from all the porn.

HE KILLED THE DOG

Mother of God

Also, he killed the poor dog. Possibly for being more of a man than Jared could ever hope to become in his life. It should be noted, however, that killing the dog in and of itself really isn't a bad thing, as it can very easily be considered an act of mercy due to the fact that Jared probably definitely fucked the dog on a daily basis.

Dox

• 19 Lower Wigan Road
• Standish Lower Ground
• Wigan, Lancashire, United Kingdom
• Home: 01257252449
• Mobile: 07526492908
• School: The Deanery Church of England High School
•  His Facebook
•  His "Like Page"
• His YouTube

See Also:

• Jessi Slaughter
• Justin Bieber
• Internet Tough Guy
• Mike Sandy
• Angry Homo Kid

	Jared Milton is part of a series on YouTube.
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