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Ralph Northam: Difference between revisions

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Revision as of 20:59, 9 November 2021

File:Northram.jpg
The image that started the whole thing...

Ralph Northam is the current Governor of Virginia who rose to national and international prominence after wearing blackface. Elected after race-baiting his way into office with a more or less Orange Man Bad ad. in a lean-to likely Democrat State, Northam has created quite a controversy by wearing Blackface, Supporting Abortion up to the point of birth, and attempting general far left policies. like a gun grab.

Rise to Power

In a state that's trended left since the 2000s it wasn't too hard for Northam to become governor. All Ralphy had to do was remind everyone how racist the white man was and how people with Confederate Flags were trying to murder Black and Brown Children. Yes Srsly.

Very ironic given what was to come out about him.

After the anti-white ad aired even the liberal news media had to get involved calling foul on Ralph for the Ad while secretly supporting it. Several conservatives on the interwebs went on to demand Ralph's withdrawal from the race and to immediately and without haste become an hero. He gave neither and instead was elected governor by an overwhelming vote.

Wont someone think of the Children?

In his second bout of irony, Ralph Northam went on some show Last Thursday to tell everyone how much he hated children. He went on to say he'd support killing Children up to the point of birth. This is very very late term abortion. It was promptly criticized by even his own party as being "too extreme" (even though a lot of Democrats have adopted similar policies.

Blackface Controversy

Democrats overwhelmingly support this man
Democrats overwhelmingly support this man

Almost immediately after getting called out for killing children, Northam was exposed for a photo in his College Yearbook that depicted him in Blackface with a member of the KKK. The photo while lulzy in nature was sure to damage his image as an anti GOP pro black people governor. Several members of his own party called for him to step down as Governor, even former President Black Jesus told Ralph to step down. This however proved to not be a viable option as it was soon revealed that his Lt. Governor, Justin Fairfax was alleged to have raped a girl in the early 2000s and got #Metooed right as the Controversy broke.

Ralph eventually apologized to his constituents and responded to calls for his resignation by apologizing while also telling them to be quiet.

Shortly after Fairfax got #Metooed Attorney General Mark Herring decided to join in the fun of being embroidered in controversy and admitted to having worn blackface in college as well. Yes indeed the commonwealth is in good hands.

Many have argued that the blackface controversy was a conspiracy. Alleging that Northam's team may have leaked the news themselves to throw heat off of the

Failed Gun Grab

File:Ralph gun ban.png

After gaining a majority in both Chambers of the Virginia Legislature in November of 2019. Ralph Northam pushed ahead with his plan to ban Assult Weapons. This was expected to pass in January's Assembly. Thousands of Neckbeards marched on Richmond from the NRA cosplaying as Soldiers with their AR-15's as most "Gun Enthusiasts" who still live with their moms are known to do. The crowds drew people from all over the country to RVA in hopes of stopping the legislation. Despite Ralph and for that matter everyone else's beliefs the legislation failed to pass as four Democrats in Conservative districts dissented, fearing to get the ban hammer from their constituents.

Ralph isn't giving up however. Ralph assigned his fellow collegiate blackface Mark Herring to continue to pursue the cause, with him vowing to push the ban through one of these days.

George Floyd Response

In response to the ongoing George Floyd Protests which has resulted in thousands of dollars in damage to the state Northam order the removal of Confederate Statues on Monument Ave in Richmond. Because as we all known that giving into the mod is a great way to placate the riots. Thank fuck he's not eligible for Reelection.

See Also

Ralph Northam
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