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Cum: Difference between revisions

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imported>Disturbed9624
imported>Gray
Merged with Semen
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<div style="position:fixed;bottom:0;left:0;z-index:100">[[File:SpoogeAnimated.gif]] </div>
[[Image:jizztini.jpg|thumb|Cum makes for a [[Jizztini|delicious cocktail]]]]
'''Cum''' is a slang term indicating either the act of ejaculating or the slippery by-products of said act. Recent scientific breakthroughs have uncovered that cumming is twice as good when it is the end product of [[rape]]. Especially if the 'rape victim' gets pregnant and bonus if the offspring looks like you so it can remind the rapee of that wonderful night.


__NOTOC__
In persons with [[cock]], the verb (To Cum/Ejaculate) refers to the overtly obvious ''twitch n' spurt.'' For people who don't want to become [[pregnant]] and hate having to use [[condoms]], pulling out before you cum is a reliable method of birth control, and there is a [[at least 100|100%]] chance that you have avoided becoming a parent. For [[you]], this occurs about ten seconds before you close your browser window and cry yourself to sleep. Or, get all [[butthurt]] because you blew your load right when the camera panned to a dude's face.


{{merge|semen}}
==Semen==
[[Image:Bigcumshot.gif|thumb|Cum in action.]]
[[Image:Niggerfacial.jpg|thumb|Cum is an excellent source of nutrients.]]
[[Image:Ejaculation_on_blue_sheets.gif|thumb|Cum's going on.]]
'''Semen''' is a white-ish liquid that ejaculates from a male [[penis]] when stimulated, following this a man is generally exhausted and fulfilled making him easily malleable to the manipulative will of his partner. Often an excellent time for a woman to ask for money.
[[Image:Ejaculation.gif|thumb|Cum like the best.]]
[[Image:Wonkasplooge.gif|thumb|right|Willy Wonka sneaks one up on unsuspecting child and mother.]]
'''Cum''' is a slang term indicating either the act of orgasming or the slippery by-products of said act. An ancient <s>myth</s> truth suggests that cum can often be used as a cure for Lesbianism (see [[lesbians]]), when taken orally, vaginally or anally. Recent scientific breakthroughs have uncovered that [[Your mom|ur mom]] is the only organism on earth that literally thrives on cum but is afraid to ask. <s>Talk to her about it</s> put your cum in her cereal. It is well known that any time someone cums, they do it for the [[lulz]]. Cumming is twice as good when it is the end product of [[rape]]. Especially if the 'rape victim' gets pregnant and bonus if the offspring looks like you so it can remind the rapee of that wonderful night. It is rumored that some women can have this ability as stated below.


See [[Cum Slut]].
The nutritional value of semen largely equates to that of egg whites, therefore it is a high-protein and low-carb food ideal for the [[prostitute|woman on-the-go]]. The average ejaculation, or serving size, is about a tablespoon which equals about fifteen calories. This can vary by man, and ejaculatory conditions.


==Verb (To Cum - Ejaculate)==
==A Woman's Best Friend==
In persons with [[cock]], the verb refers to the overtly obvious ''twitch n' spurt.'' For people who don't want to become [[pregnant]] and hate having to use [[condoms]], pulling out before you cum is a reliable method of birth control, and there is a [[at least 100|100%]] chance that you have avoided becoming a parent.
It often believed that women don't like semen. This is a gross misconception as the adjoining photo shows. Any woman who refuses to swallow is most likely a whiny, shallow, money-grubbing ice princess, self-empowered [[BitingBeaver|feminist]] who has a [[LiveJournal]], or if you're lucky simply a [[whore|Succubus]] out to drag your mortal body into the bowels of [[hell]] to burn for all eternity.


For most of [[you]], this occurs about ten seconds before you close your browser window and cry yourself to sleep. Or, get all [[butthurt]] because you blew your load right when the camera panned to a dude's face.
*'''Ladies take note!''' It is an established fact that there is no greater sign of love than a woman who gulps down her man's hot, creamy load.
*'''On a diet?''' Semen is 15 calories per average "serving"!  Now, if you chose to burn off those calories with a bit of effort at the time, I'm sure that wouldn't be a problem.
*'''Need extra oomph?''' [[klarawagner|Klara Wagner]] enjoys several healthy helpings of semen every day and swears by its energizing powers.
*'''Can't get enough of the good stuff?''' Ask a man if you can suck his [[sausage]] and chances are he'll happily oblige.


==Female Ejaculation==
==Female Ejaculation==
''See main article at [[Squirting]]''
{{main|Squirting}}
 
Women can have orgasms too, but they are much less obvious since there is no external ejaculation. No not really. In reality women do not have orgasms at all. If your girlfriend or wife or rape victim tells you that she has had an orgasm, she is lying. In fact in the entire history of the human race, not a single woman has ever had an orgasm. Female orgasms are a myth and a lie created to make mens feel better about their "sexual skills" in hopes that feeding a mans ego will result in him buying moar stuff for them and rubbing their feet more often.
Women can have orgasms too, but they are much less obvious since there is no external ejaculation. No not really. In reality women do not have orgasms at all. If your girlfriend or wife or rape victim tells you that she has had an orgasm, she is lying. In fact in the entire history of the human race, not a single woman has ever had an orgasm. Female orgasms are a myth and a lie created to make mens feel better about their "sexual skills" in hopes that feeding a mans ego will result in him buying moar stuff for them and rubbing their feet more often.
==Noun==
The lone means of sustenance of [[Hello Kitty]], who has no mouth and therefore must consume it solely [[In the ass|by other means.]] Also referred to as a ''protein slurpee.''
==People Who Love Cumming==
[[Image:1915_1608_Hilton-Paris-120703-400-lo.jpg|thumb|[[AIDS|Does her part by using birth control.]] Thank the [[lulz|lawd]].]]
[[Image:Digimoncum.jpg|thumb|JP finally did it]]
*[[Britney Spears]]
*[[Klarawagner]]
*[[Faggot]]s
*[[Dakota Fanning]]'s belly button
*[[Dorian Thorn]]
*[[You]]
*[[Mom]]
*[[Cumdumpsters]]
==People Who Hate Cumming==
*[[Paula Benson]]
*[[ACMA]]
==People Who Can't Cum==
*Anyone who [[You]] have sex with
==Hutnyah==
When one releases a load of their man juice then they are automatically required to shout hutnyah as they fire onto <s>there sandwhich</s> (their sandwich, lrn2english) slave bitch.... It is a term which will always refer to the act of jizzing, especially on niggers and nigger bitches.


==Gallery==
==Gallery==
{{cg|Cum|CUM|center|<gallery>
{{cg||Cum gallery|center|<gallery perrow="5">
File:Cockwaffle.jpg|[[Furries]] think cum is for breakfast.
File:Cumpro.gif
File:Splurge.jpg|[[DO NOT WANT |Cum where it's supposed to be]].
File:Femalecockmongler.jpg|The fruits of your labor.
File:Femalecockmongler.jpg|The fruits of your labor.
File:Sperm-egg.jpg|What sperm looks like [[IRL]]. Since they look like [[frog|tadpoles]], this is sure to arouse the [[furfag]]s who extend their fetish to non-mammals.
File:Sperm-egg.jpg|What sperm looks like [[IRL]]. Since they look like [[frog|tadpoles]], this is sure to arouse the [[furfag]]s who extend their fetish to non-mammals.
</gallery>|<gallery>
File:Cockwaffle.jpg|All [[furries]] like cum for breakfast.
File:Kesha_cum.jpg|[[Ke$ha|TIK-TOK]], cum from cock
Image:Semen-collector.jpg|A device for collecting semen
</gallery>|<gallery perrow="5">
Image:Bigcumshot.gif|Cum in action
Image:Ejaculation.gif|Cum like the best.
Image:happywoman.jpg
Image:Spermy.jpg|Where to apply semen
Image:Facial Regret.jpg|Some people [[Bukkake|collect semen.]]
Image:Unicum.jpg|In the [[USA]], semen is drunk as a liquor
Image:Mastsriusly1.jpg|THE PIPES, THEY CAN'T HANDLE IT CAPTAIN!
File:Splurge.jpg|[[DO NOT WANT |Cum where it's supposed to be]].
File:Facial Regret.jpg|An unenthusiastic cum target.
File:Facial Regret.jpg|An unenthusiastic cum target.
File:Claudia-thorn-bukkake.JPG|[[Dorian Thorn|Claudia Thorn]] enjoys wearing complete strangers' cum.
File:Claudia-thorn-bukkake.JPG|[[Dorian Thorn|Claudia Thorn]] enjoys wearing complete strangers' cum.
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File:Dicksleeves.jpg
File:Dicksleeves.jpg
File:Lady J facepainter.jpg|this Lady J photo of a cum tribute is a good example of face painting.
File:Lady J facepainter.jpg|this Lady J photo of a cum tribute is a good example of face painting.
File:Motivator_-_Semen.jpg|Watch out where you cum...
File:Niggerfacial.jpg|Cum is an excellent source of nutrients.
File:Cumdump.jpg| Ass rape aftermath
File:Cumdump.jpg| Ass rape aftermath
File:Drip.jpg
File:Drip.jpg
File:Titphonesex.gif
File:Titphonesex.gif
File:Tunnelvision.gif
File:Tunnelvision.gif
File:Cumpro.gif
File:Bukkake03.jpg
File:Bukkake03.jpg
File:Ejaculate_Blood.gif‎|How it's done.
File:Ejaculate_Blood.gif‎|How it's done.
File:Porn-gif-amateur-facial-cumshot-1.gif
File:Porn-gif-amateur-facial-cumshot-1.gif
File:Spermies.jpg|Now in candy form.
File:Spermies.jpg|Now in candy form.
Image:Wonkasplooge.gif|Willy [[Wanker|Wonka]] sneaks one up on unsuspecting child and mother.
</gallery>}}
</gallery>}}


==Jizz in my Pants==
==Videos==
<youtube>4pXfHLUlZf4</youtube>
<center><youtube>4pXfHLUlZf4</youtube></center>


==See Also==
==See Also==
[[Image:1915_1608_Hilton-Paris-120703-400-lo.jpg|thumb|Semen, [[Paris Hilton]]'s favorite drink]]
*[[Fap]]
*[[I Came]]
*[[I Came]]
*[[Jizztini]]
*[[Jizztini]]
*People Who Love Cum
**[[Britney Spears]]
**[[Dakota Fanning]]'s belly button
**[[Dorian Thorn]]
**[[Faggots]]
**[[Paris Hilton]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Semen]]
*[[Fap]]
*[[Sex]]


==External Links==
==External Links==
*[http://www.dontspitswallow.com/ Don't Spit, Swallow!] - Swallowing hints, advice, and tips.
*[http://ejacu.com/ejaculation/001.html Ejaculation Pictures] - Free archive of different types of semen expressions and emissions.
*[http://advancedmasturbation.com/ejaculation/01.html Masturbation Ejaculation Techniques] - Different ways to shoot semen with facts, instructions, and pictures.
*[http://www.cookingwithcum.com/ Cooking With Cum] Looking for that extra something in your crepes?
*[[Wikipedia:Cummingtonite]] Cumming rocks
*[[Wikipedia:Cummingtonite]] Cumming rocks
*[http://www.beautifulagony.com/feck_subaff/redirect.php?id=f981d7a4 Come faces]
*[http://www.beautifulagony.com/feck_subaff/redirect.php?id=f981d7a4 Come faces]
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*[http://www.wowomg.com Website to make you cum]
*[http://www.wowomg.com Website to make you cum]
*[http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/natural-harvest---a-collection-of-semen-based-recipes/4956212 How to cook with cum]
*[http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/natural-harvest---a-collection-of-semen-based-recipes/4956212 How to cook with cum]
*[http://www.freedonr.com/sdcatalog.html Here's an entire CATALOGUE of sperm donors to choose from!]
*[http://www.freedonr.com/sdcatalog.html Here's an entire CATALOG of sperm donors to choose from!]
<br>
{{Sex}}
{{Sex}}[[Category:Sex]]
[[Category:Sex]]

Revision as of 16:51, 20 August 2012

Cum makes for a delicious cocktail

Cum is a slang term indicating either the act of ejaculating or the slippery by-products of said act. Recent scientific breakthroughs have uncovered that cumming is twice as good when it is the end product of rape. Especially if the 'rape victim' gets pregnant and bonus if the offspring looks like you so it can remind the rapee of that wonderful night.

In persons with cock, the verb (To Cum/Ejaculate) refers to the overtly obvious twitch n' spurt. For people who don't want to become pregnant and hate having to use condoms, pulling out before you cum is a reliable method of birth control, and there is a 100% chance that you have avoided becoming a parent. For you, this occurs about ten seconds before you close your browser window and cry yourself to sleep. Or, get all butthurt because you blew your load right when the camera panned to a dude's face.

Semen

Cum is an excellent source of nutrients.

Semen is a white-ish liquid that ejaculates from a male penis when stimulated, following this a man is generally exhausted and fulfilled making him easily malleable to the manipulative will of his partner. Often an excellent time for a woman to ask for money.

The nutritional value of semen largely equates to that of egg whites, therefore it is a high-protein and low-carb food ideal for the woman on-the-go. The average ejaculation, or serving size, is about a tablespoon which equals about fifteen calories. This can vary by man, and ejaculatory conditions.

A Woman's Best Friend

It often believed that women don't like semen. This is a gross misconception as the adjoining photo shows. Any woman who refuses to swallow is most likely a whiny, shallow, money-grubbing ice princess, self-empowered feminist who has a LiveJournal, or if you're lucky simply a Succubus out to drag your mortal body into the bowels of hell to burn for all eternity.

  • Ladies take note! It is an established fact that there is no greater sign of love than a woman who gulps down her man's hot, creamy load.
  • On a diet? Semen is 15 calories per average "serving"! Now, if you chose to burn off those calories with a bit of effort at the time, I'm sure that wouldn't be a problem.
  • Need extra oomph? Klara Wagner enjoys several healthy helpings of semen every day and swears by its energizing powers.
  • Can't get enough of the good stuff? Ask a man if you can suck his sausage and chances are he'll happily oblige.

Female Ejaculation

Moar info: Squirting.

Women can have orgasms too, but they are much less obvious since there is no external ejaculation. No not really. In reality women do not have orgasms at all. If your girlfriend or wife or rape victim tells you that she has had an orgasm, she is lying. In fact in the entire history of the human race, not a single woman has ever had an orgasm. Female orgasms are a myth and a lie created to make mens feel better about their "sexual skills" in hopes that feeding a mans ego will result in him buying moar stuff for them and rubbing their feet more often.

Gallery

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Videos

See Also

Semen, Paris Hilton's favorite drink

External Links

Cum is part of a series on

Sex

Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage.