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Cheeseburger Josh: Difference between revisions

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'''Cheeseburger Josh (AKA Joshua [[Real_Life_Super_Hero|"Ace"]] Moll),''' a [[fat]], wanna-be [[Douche_bag|UFC fighter]], just wanted a [[I Can Has Cheezburger?|fucking cheeseburger]].   
'''Cheeseburger Josh (AKA Joshua [[Real_Life_Super_Hero|"Ace"]] Moll),''' a [[fat]], wanna-be [[Douche_bag|UFC fighter]], just wanted a [[I Can Has Cheezburger?|fucking cheeseburger]].   


What he got instead was [[raped|grappled]] into submission at an Austin, Texas [[Wat|What]]a burger Restaurant by one [[Son_Of_Epic_Beard_Man|Joseph Guichebarou]], who ''HAD'' his fucking cheeseburger already and simply wanted to be left alone with his beard and his thoughts to enjoy his meal. Incredibly, this beating actually occurred ''DESPITE'' the fact that Josh was protected by the the [[Tri-force|soul crushing power]] of an authentic 'TapouT' shirt, which we ''all'' know immediately brands him an A-1 certified BADASS MOTHERFUCKER and ''virtually'' [[Unrealistic_expectations|indestructible]], thus rendering any real exercise or formal training completely [[You|irrelevant]].
What he got instead was [[raped|grappled]] into submission at an Austin, Texas [[Wat|What]]a burger Restaurant by one [[Beard|Joseph Guichebarou]], who ''HAD'' his fucking cheeseburger already and simply wanted to be left alone with his beard and his thoughts to enjoy his meal. Incredibly, this beating actually occurred ''DESPITE'' the fact that Josh was protected by the the [[Triforce|soul crushing power]] of an authentic 'TapouT' shirt, which we ''all'' know immediately brands him an A-1 certified BADASS MOTHERFUCKER and ''virtually'' [[Unrealistic_expectations|indestructible]], thus rendering any real exercise or formal training completely [[You|irrelevant]].


...or so it seemed.  
...or so it seemed.  

Revision as of 22:56, 15 November 2012

Cheeseburger Josh has been identified. Scroll down for more information.


Cheeseburger Josh (AKA Joshua "Ace" Moll), a fat, wanna-be UFC fighter, just wanted a fucking cheeseburger.

What he got instead was grappled into submission at an Austin, Texas Whata burger Restaurant by one Joseph Guichebarou, who HAD his fucking cheeseburger already and simply wanted to be left alone with his beard and his thoughts to enjoy his meal. Incredibly, this beating actually occurred DESPITE the fact that Josh was protected by the the soul crushing power of an authentic 'TapouT' shirt, which we all know immediately brands him an A-1 certified BADASS MOTHERFUCKER and virtually indestructible, thus rendering any real exercise or formal training completely irrelevant.

...or so it seemed.

The proverbial 'cherry' on top of this EPIC encounter, however, was NOT that our much larger and powerful protagonist was soundly defeated...OH NO...He was also immediately depantsed, revealing his decision that today was going to be an underwear optional day; the end results of which were that all and sundry were exposed to the horrific sight of his pale, flabby, disgusting asscheeks, and Josh's melancholy realization that being a BADASS MOTHERFUCKER was inversely proportional to time spent wearing sandals, getting dry-humped by some guy, flopping around helplessly whilst half-naked on a dirty floor, drinking copious amounts of alcohol, getting laughed at by niggers, and (here we return to the focus of our story) eating fucking cheeseburgers.

Interestingly enough, one final unintended result of this confrontation was that since it appeared to be of great curiosity to the numerous minorities present (associates of one has-been white rapper Paul Wall apparently), it can serve as both an example of what an actual 1-on-1 fight might look like outside of their natural habitat, as well as a demonstration of just how this can be achieved without resorting to black person and wallet sneak-thievery. However, the true measure of just how the commonly held belief that white people can't fight was either challenged or reinforced by this sociological experiment...remains to be seen.

   
 
fuck you and your cheeseburger, motherfucker. I will beat you all over those french fries boi!!!
 

 
 

—Cheeseburger Josh


Revealed!!!1111

[1] Not the Josh Moll you were looking for? MOOD: TRIUMPHANT BODY TYPE: ATHLETIC CHILDREN: PROUD PARENT

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