NintendoLife

image

In the world of internet faggotry, NintendoLife is a concept, philosophy, and most commonly associated as a forum/review website that can mean multiple different things. Originating from a hentai imageboard, NintendoLife has since changed their philosophy towards dominating the internet and the opinions of those who oppose them. Some have considered its relevance in media to be the equivalent of Fox News, while others have claimed its shady and masked practices to be that of the Holocaust. NintendoLife, most commonly referred to as "The Fox News of Gaming" is most commonly known for being the only faggotry forum/review website in existence to be somewhat relevant in media. It currently holds the Guinness World Record for attracting the most amount of untainted video game developers and review site into participating in their faggotry. However, it is still in debate as to whether this record is truly legit or not, as some have rumored that its shady admin, "theblackdragon", has handed these innocent developers and reviewers thieved personal information from various users in order have them participate in the faggotry and therefore gain publicity on their conquest to dominate the internet and the opinions of those who oppose them.

The Shady Practices "The NintendoLife Psyche Test"

"theblackdragon" utilizing "The Super Masking"

When analyzing the shady practices that are performed at NintendoLife, one must analyze the human psyche and the way it reacts toward NintendoLife, as such a thing is the key technique NintendoLife pursues in becoming relevant in media. This technique, originating from forum admin, dictator, and psychologist, "theblackdragon", not only allows their website to be somewhat relevant in media, but also allows them to mask their faggotry that would otherwise eradicate the userbase and support for their website entirely. The technique, as "theblackdragon" describes in her book, Dealing With ADD: How I OWNED The Gaming Industry, states "I came to a realization with my userbase and the media; they're all a bunch of dumbasses. So I created a method to take advantage of the dumbassery." (21). This method, known as the NintendoLife Psyche Test (NPT), allows NintendoLife to achieve relevance in the media without eradication, due to their faggotry. The Method is as follows:

1. The Initial Impression - The initial impression begins with what the human psyche would first think about NintendoLife as they visit the website for the first time. A colorful and friendly review site that invites the community to post and be friendly. You would think that based off this impression, that NintendoLife is what it claims to be, right? Wrong, this impression is exactly what NintendoLife wants you to think at first. This way, they can perfectly mask their faggotry without being noticed. Because developers and review websites don't have time (or are too lazy) to investigate the website further, they assume it is devoid of faggotry and unknowingly participate in it.
2. The Fishing - Once NintendoLife has detected that you are not a threat towards their conquest to dominate with their faggotry, they begin investigation on what your opinions are and what you personally believe. This is done through their method of "Faggotry Article Production", in which they post subjective and incomprehensibly stupid "ideas and suggestions", such as "Pokemon Streetpass Trading" (which through a study by Game Designer and Industry Expert, "Krishaa", concludes has a 1/421201 success rate), in order to fish out intelligent users who oppose them and proceed with the next step.
3. The Initial Masking - Once such intelligent users are fished out, NintendoLife will have "theblackdragon" white knight and proceed with the masking. This first stage of masking involves a simple post that attempts to persuade the user into dropping their opposition. If this method fails, "theblackdragon" will begin to constantly restate the content that the user is opposing, although the user already understands such content. If this method also fails, then "theblackdragon" will begin to introduce the Ad Populum Fallacy in order to hopefully justify the content, although in reality this wouldn't be possible. Generally, these techniques work on users, but if they begin to fail, then NintendoLife will proceed with the next step.
4. The Super Masking - If such a user existed who was an individualist and stood up for his beliefs, then NintendoLife will initiate this step. The first stage of this masking involves introducing the Ad Hominem Fallacy, which attacks the user rather than their argument. It is assumed that this method is done, either due to a lack of attention span to read the counterargument or due to the fact that NintendoLife cannot find a counterargument for the user's counterargument. Not only do they attack the user, but they also claim that the user is in an uncontrollable state of rage and that they are innocent, so that other users will view the user negatively (although the user isn't in any state of rage, other than a sheer disbelief for the lack of intelligence displayed by NintendoLife). If this method does not work, then "theblackdragon" will begin to insert her own comments into the user's post, which criticize the user and blame them for the opposition somehow being a federal offense. Generally, this drives fear into the user, enough to make them drop their opposition, but in the rare case that it does not, then the next step will initiate.
5. The Closing Comments and Banning - If the user passes through all these steps, then "theblackdragon" will initiate a statement, which includes a sense of disbelief for the user's supposed incompetence (though no disbelief exists at all because the user is actually more intelligent than NintendoLife), a criticism of the user, and a closing comment, stating in a meticulous and detailed fashion, about how NintendoLife is right and the user is wrong. If the user still attempts to fight back. NintendoLife will proceed to ban the user and give an completely nonrelatable reason towards the banning. If any other users attempt to back the user up, then they will be banned too.

Staff

theblackdragon

"theblackdragon" is a forum admin, dictator, and psychologist, most commonly known for managing to make a forum/review website filled with faggotry somewhat relevant in the media. It is reported that she dropped out of high school in order to spend more time dictating innocent users on NintendoLife. Because of this, she was never able to take any introductory logic classes, and therefore uses Ad Hominem and Ad Populum fallacies in order to justify her arguments. She is most famous for her innovation and creative "NintendoLife Psyche Test" method, which to this day, nobody has figured out how to circumvent. It is rumored that Prima Games attempted to release a strategy guide on how to counter this method, but "theblackdragon" had coerced them into cancelling the release. "theblackdragon"'s avatar is a representation of her supposed significance and sophistication as the world's leading douchefuck. Currently, she dictates the innocent users of NintendoLife in order to proceed with her conquest of ultimate faggotry. It is rumored that she is coercing Nintendo to have her avatar included as a playable character in the next Super Smash Bros game.

Corbie

Corbie is a forum moderator who has been rumored to be a counterspy, committing various forms of espionage at NintendoLife. The rumors regarding Corbie being a counterspy began to spike after posting in a thread on Gamespot, claiming that he is not involved with any criminal acts that occur at NintendoLife. He had also advised, on the same thread, that users should reason their problems out with "theblackdragon". The flaw in logic with Corbie's advice is that the scope and magnitude of patience and skill required to be able to get "theblackdragon" to actually reason, rather than being overly pretentious and self-absorbed in utter douchefuckery and faggotry, makes doing so incredibly impractical. The rumors for Corbie being a counterspy spiked not just from what he claimed on Gamespot, but from a logical necessary truth that followed:

1. You Support Where You Work At - Would it be logical to conclude that a Nazi existed who didn't support the various acts that went on at concentration camps? Would it be logical to conclude that an athlete participated on a team whom he didn't support? No. There is no "special privilege" in designating a specific company or organization to work for unless it is the philosophy that company so profoundly holds up. For Corbie to work for a "company" that flays and disembowels any comment they don't like and say he is not a part of it is flat out contradictory. Simply, if Corbie did not believe in any of the cruel and torturous acts that occur at NintendoLife, he would find a more friendly review website to work at (as in, every other review website aside from NintendoLife). But he still works there, so if what he says is true, then...
2. If Not, Then You're A Counterspy - Much like Robert Hanssen, Corbie works for a company whose actions are those in which he did not believe in, and like Hanssen, could only mean that he is a counterspy. Because a contradiction would normally exist in Corbie's philosophy, one would have no other choice but to conclude that he is a counterspy to make such a contradiction nullified. Corbie's logic would make much more sense in this regard, as he tells those who have been abused by "theblackdragon" to reason with her, a piece of advice that has approximately a 0.00000000000000001% chance of working, though also being the only information Corbie could obtain from his usual counterspy antics.

In regard to the thread, one will notice that it has now been deleted and doesn't exist anymore. This deletion is rumored to have happened due to a multitude of causes, though most lean towards an action being taken by "theblackdragon" as the leading factor. It has been rumored that "theblackdragon" witnessed this thread and a user stating "better get theblackdragon in here to delete this thread", a sarcastic portrayal of how desperate "theblackdragon" truly is to be the world's leading douchefuck (although some claim this portrayal to be authentic rather than sarcasm), and hacked an admin account on Gamespot in order to delete the thread and secure her image. Gamespot, like their usual selves, did not care that their admin account got hacked (to be more precise, they don't care about anything at all) and let it slide.

Krishaa

Currently known as "mysteryracer", is a game designer and industry expert, who managed to circumvent the "NintendoLife Psyche Test". After receiving the banning that was initiated by "theblackdragon", he took advantage of the Privacy Policy in order to frame NintendoLife for their misdeeds. This act, stated by "theblackdragoon", in her book, Dealing With ADD: How I OWNED The Gaming Industry, "could have been one of the most devastating things to happen at NintendoLife if we hadn't stopped it" (127). A virus and piece of nasty spyware initiated by NintendoLife allowed them to spy on Krishaa and preemptively IP ban him in order to diffuse the damage. To diffuse rumors on the spyware, the Privacy Policy states "We use traffic log cookies to identify which pages are being used." After Krishaa's banning, various users, review sites, and game developers have labeled him as an intense faggot, due to their skewed judgment on his situation that "theblackdragon" took advantage of in "The Initial Impression". However, his faggotry is not the case, as this assumed faggotry is only a misperception and not the actual truth. Regardless, because of the labels given to him unjustly, he was forced to change his name to mysteryracer. About a year and a half after the incident, he came out and wrote about his experience in an article called "Everything you need to know about TBD "theblackdragon" and Mr Reece".

External links

•  nintendolife
• nintendolife
• nintendolife
•  nintendolife
• http://www.nintendolife.com

NintendoLife is part of a series on Gaming Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.