HandOfZek

HandOfZek is what one might call depressed. Very, very depressed. This young totsean is so very, very depressed with the weight of having two children, a job, college, and a girlfriend(LOL DUMPED), not to mention a few medical disorders for which he gets at least 100 pills for every month.

That's a man, baby!

Suicide and the Meaning of Life

Last Thursday Zekkypoo was in contact with some girl with whom he shared his hardcore depressed outlook on life. After many phone conversations, he talked this girl into committing suicide, which some argue means that Zek is an internet killer.

The setup:

 This installment is mostly about a new friend that I met in Indiana. She seemed really shy and
 withdrawn for the first few days I spent with her, but she opened up after a while of kicking
 her ass at Mortal Combat and generally enjoying her company.

Going out in Jewish style:

So over the next few days, we set a few things up and bought some tape to get the job done. 
I showed her how to seal up the cracks in the door/windows in her bathroom and brought some
 charcoal over for her.. barbecue.

That first attempt failed, so after he was safe and sound in Wyoming, this next phone call took place.

“Taylor, I can't do it. My mom would be devastated for losing me.”

“You can do it, just think of all the pain you're going to have to endure just to appease a
 meaningless entity. Look, I love you, and want what's best for you. I'm asking you as a friend
 to go through with the suicide and ESCAPE your imprisonment in your mind.”

She cries some more and starts a fire while I wait.

“I need you here to talk to me through the whole time, okay? Otherwise I can't do it.”

“I'm here for you, just think of how much better things will be.”

“I'm scared!”

“You're fine, just listen to my voice and calm down. Imagine you're floating away into a world
 of infinite happiness and lots of balloons.”

After 15 minutes and no reply, I hung up. This is a chapter of my life that I usually don't
 like talking about, but y;all asked for it.

I may be a horrible person, but at least I helps to ease her pain. I regret doing what I did to
 her, but her life would be shit now without me.

Did I kill her?

Please don't hate me, I only wanted to help.

The whole story is available here, and also here!

Family Values

HOZ and his (ex)-wife have two kids (not for long), but why anyone would let these people reproduce is a question to be pondered by the ages. Their relationship has been categorized by things like infantalism,polygamy, getting his ass kicked for christmas, stealing sandwiches, partying hard, and kinky sex. Yet somehow they haven't gotten their kids taken away from them yet after numerous attempts by totse trolls to do so.

Attention Whoring

HandOfZek is a self admitted attention whore. He even wanted this article to be written. No srsly, check out the posts in this unrelated thread. Zek loves to wallow in his own self pity and the pity of others, because he constantly sets himself up for failure.

Depressed, bisexual, have two kids at age 19. Been diagnosed With clinical depression, social
 anxiety disorder, general anxiety disorder, seasonal affective disorder, hypersomnia, and a
 buch of other things "Including a severe case of hypochondria."

BAWWWW

I don't know what to do. 2 weeks in, and I'm already fucked. I cannot fail anything this
 semester, and.. shit, yo. What sorts of things do y'all do to stay on top of your work and not
 fall into the warmth of laziness and failure?

I'm freaking out.

Often he will make a thread just to blatantly ask for attention.

Pastimes

Zek enjoys anime, something which no doubt distracts him from his family duties worse than all the god damned drugs he is doing. When he isn't whoring himself out for attention OL, he will sometimes start shit up IRL; Such a badass.

While claiming to be in college for networking, it is in fact a complete lie because what with all these other strenuous activities of sex, drugs, and rock'n roll how could anyone have time for education? Short answer: nope. Long answer? Just click this wonderful link to see the depression for yourself.

Broke up, kicked out, came out.

Last thursday Zek's girlfriend and mother of his children broke up with him, but for some reason allowed him to live in their apartment for several months. Eventually she started to get lonely due to Zek wanting to suck cock all the time, and decided to court another totsean. She actually paid for this guy to come halfway across the US to live with them and raise their children.

Soon they found that this arrangement wouldn't work and Zek got the boot, and is now living with his parents, lulz.

Hand: They ARE getting married, Hardly There is living thousands of miles away and 
Clifford is adopting my kids. 
Hand: I may never see my kids again. 

That's right, after just a few months of knowing each other, Zek's baby momma married some random internet person.

After all this, it is expected that HandOfZek will be with us no longer very soon. How much can one man take after all?

If you'd like the full story a fine fellow on &t has been documenting this whole wonderful lulzfest right here!

Curtain Rods

One fine day Zekkypoo was hankering for a penetrating, but when his baby-momma moved away she took all their fun toys with her! Oh what is a man to do?!?

I was masturbating, and there was no dildo handy. I found a metal rod that holds up curtains,
 though, and tried to use it. Turns out, it had a sharp edge. I felt it cut me, then pulled it out
 and it cut some more. Of course, that didn't stop me from finishing.

When I was done though, I was surprised and then a little scared at how much blood had been lost
 (most soaked up with toilet paper in the bathroom).

Here's the rod, and the stain I left on my BARE MATTRESS!

You cant make this shit up. Sadly, this isn't the first totsean to have something penetrate his tender orifices and do some serious damage , HTS-Noob holds that title.

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  It's a trap!!!
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  Bloodymattressman
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  The offending object.

Gallery

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  3 years ago...
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  Present day
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  I like it when the...
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  ...red water comes out.
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  Branded as less than three
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  spam
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  eek