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Chip Berlet: Difference between revisions
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'''Chip Berlet''' is a fat [[communist]] [[attention whore]] who spends most of his life on [[Wikipedia|the inferior wiki]] under the wing of his patron, ex-KGB agent [[SlimVirgin]]; where he currently edits under the [[sockpuppetry|sock account]] [[wikipedia:Special:Contributions/Chip.berlet|Chip.berlet]]. He is the byproduct of a freak accident circa 1949 at the [[New York City|Brooklyn Zoo]] in which a [[Marxism|Marxist]] immigrant worker in charge of sweeping the shit out of the cages huffed a bad batch of [[shrooms|magic mushrooms]] and [[accidentally]] impregnated a walrus. Nine months later little Chip was born, weighing in at a ripe 133 pounds. Berlet is an enemy of [[Daniel Brandt]]. | '''John Foster "Chip" Berlet''' is a fat [[communist]] [[attention whore]] who spends most of his life on [[Wikipedia|the inferior wiki]] under the wing of his patron, ex-KGB agent [[SlimVirgin]]; where he currently edits under the [[sockpuppetry|sock account]] [[wikipedia:Special:Contributions/Chip.berlet|Chip.berlet]]. Despite appearances, any politically-motivated editing Chip did, or had done for him, on Wikipedia was ultimately less important than the critical issue: the canonization of Chip Berlet. | ||
==His Batman-like origins== | |||
He is the byproduct of a freak accident circa 1949 at the [[New York City|Brooklyn Zoo]] in which a [[Marxism|Marxist]] immigrant worker in charge of sweeping the shit out of the cages huffed a bad batch of [[shrooms|magic mushrooms]] and [[accidentally]] impregnated a walrus. Nine months later little Chip was born, weighing in at a ripe 133 pounds. Berlet is an enemy of [[Daniel Brandt]]. | |||
[[Image:Chip_Berlet.jpg|frame|right|"Walrus-breeding experiment gone terribly wrong"]] | [[Image:Chip_Berlet.jpg|frame|right|"Walrus-breeding experiment gone terribly wrong"]] | ||
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Except that Chip isn't really an expert on anything... except for [[fat|daily calorie intake]]. That's Wikipedia's dirty little secret - their in house expert is really just [[basement dweller|another stupid angry fat guy with a keyboard]]. Forget PhDs or even college degrees, Berlet doesn't even have so much as a lawnmower mechanic's certification from [[ITT Tech]]. Despite his love of gorging on [[KFC|deep fried chicken wings]] at the University of Denver dormitory [[before the Internet|in the early 1970s]], Berlet's drug habits and sedentary lifestyle effectively prevented him from from attending class. In other words, he couldn't fit through the front doorway anymore. So one day he waddled himself onto the campus freight elevator and flopped into a flatbed truck usually reserved for transporting orcas at the [[Colorado|Denver Aquarium]], and hitched a ride to the [[Massachusetts|People's Republic of Massachusetts]]. | Except that Chip isn't really an expert on anything... except for [[fat|daily calorie intake]]. That's Wikipedia's dirty little secret - their in house expert is really just [[basement dweller|another stupid angry fat guy with a keyboard]]. Forget PhDs or even college degrees, Berlet doesn't even have so much as a lawnmower mechanic's certification from [[ITT Tech]]. Despite his love of gorging on [[KFC|deep fried chicken wings]] at the University of Denver dormitory [[before the Internet|in the early 1970s]], Berlet's drug habits and sedentary lifestyle effectively prevented him from from attending class. In other words, he couldn't fit through the front doorway anymore. So one day he waddled himself onto the campus freight elevator and flopped into a flatbed truck usually reserved for transporting orcas at the [[Colorado|Denver Aquarium]], and hitched a ride to the [[Massachusetts|People's Republic of Massachusetts]]. | ||
==Ragequit!== | |||
{{squote|"What is the point of reaching consensus with a group of single issue fanatic supporters of a raging antisemite, fascist and lunatic? Arbcom has made a decision and refuses to enforce it. This about the credibilty of an encyclopedia in the face of a concerted effort by crackpots and syncophants. Please appeal to Arbcom if you disagee. Been there--done that. It is not my problem if Arbcom, Wikipedia's board, and Wales are spineless cowards.--Cberlet (talk) 02:47, 23 July 2008 (UTC)"|--(sic)}} | {{squote|"What is the point of reaching consensus with a group of single issue fanatic supporters of a raging antisemite, fascist and lunatic? Arbcom has made a decision and refuses to enforce it. This about the credibilty of an encyclopedia in the face of a concerted effort by crackpots and syncophants. Please appeal to Arbcom if you disagee. Been there--done that. It is not my problem if Arbcom, Wikipedia's board, and Wales are spineless cowards.--Cberlet (talk) 02:47, 23 July 2008 (UTC)"|--(sic)}} | ||
Revision as of 09:28, 28 April 2015
John Foster "Chip" Berlet is a fat communist attention whore who spends most of his life on the inferior wiki under the wing of his patron, ex-KGB agent SlimVirgin; where he currently edits under the sock account Chip.berlet. Despite appearances, any politically-motivated editing Chip did, or had done for him, on Wikipedia was ultimately less important than the critical issue: the canonization of Chip Berlet.
His Batman-like origins
He is the byproduct of a freak accident circa 1949 at the Brooklyn Zoo in which a Marxist immigrant worker in charge of sweeping the shit out of the cages huffed a bad batch of magic mushrooms and accidentally impregnated a walrus. Nine months later little Chip was born, weighing in at a ripe 133 pounds. Berlet is an enemy of Daniel Brandt.
By age 16, Berlet had already ballooned to 379 lbs - a condition he blames to this day on Jerry Falwell, whose appearance on television induces him to eat compulsively. With a case of Ho-Hos in hand, Berlet departed his home at Polar-ama Adventureland to pursue a sociology degree at the University of Denver. Six months later he became a junkie, dropped out, and took a job as assistant consul general for Albanian dictator Enver Hoxha. To support his drug habit, he became a writer for High Times magazine where, like most addicts, he attempted to convert others, especially young and impressionable teenagers into using drugs and destroying their own lives.
Berlet has spent most of his career attempting to refute the psychotic ramblings of Lyndon Larouche, which has led observers to speculate that Berlet in fact is a low-level polemicist in the service of the British Empire.
Chip Chip Cheerio!
Chippy showed up on TOW in 2004, and started editing....his own biography. The history of that article is a laff-out-loud pukefest, with Left Cunts and Right Cunts screaming at/reverting each other. COI violation, no problem, soon he was making "fiends" right and left. Even got his "research partner" Dennis King to help him make Wikipedia "pure". One of their first acts was to get rid of Lyndon LaRouche stooge Herschelkrustofsky. Feeling hard and cunty after this massive BJ, they went after right-wing editor Nobs01 and rammed his anus like a goat, with the able help of their new Wiki-Buddy, SlimVirgin, and her pet Heeb fish-eater Jayjg and rubber strap-on Will Beback.
Everything Chip and Gang did during the 2005-07 period was epically turd-smelly. Anyone Chip hated--conservatives, 9/11 conspiratists, Israel critics, People Chip Disliked Vaguely for Some Reason, and Daniel Brandt--attracted his shrieking stabbery. Brandt and Chip had cooperated on research in the past but became enemies long before Wikipedia existed, so it was inevitable that Berlet would try to use it to defame Brandt. Chip was like a planet-wide cunt vacuum, sucking up everyone who he personally disliked and crapping them out into ban-space with The Skinny One or Will B usually doing the "honors".
The thing to remember about Berlet is that he likes to consider himself an "expert" on everything, and being an "expert" gives him free license to quote himself as an "expert" on Wikipedia. Berlet came to Wikipedia at the invitation of SlimVirgin in 2004, and ever since he's been held up as the in-house "expert" of deference whenever Slimey and her cabal of Jayjg, Will Beback, and El C need somebody to justify their edits.
To think of it another way, Chip is an insta-quote factory. If you are SlimVirgin and you need an "expert" quote to brand Noam Chomsky, or anyone else, as a racist/bigot/anti-semite/homophobe/carnivore/asshole, all you gotta do is ring up Chip Berlet and he will not only write "Noam Chomsky hates Jews" - he'll also publish it all over PoliticalResearchAssociates.com, a web page he owns. Voila! Instant "expert" quote. Jossi even created a separate article called "Chip Berlet bibliography" to act as a dumping ground for Chip's endless ravings about random subjects.
Except that Chip isn't really an expert on anything... except for daily calorie intake. That's Wikipedia's dirty little secret - their in house expert is really just another stupid angry fat guy with a keyboard. Forget PhDs or even college degrees, Berlet doesn't even have so much as a lawnmower mechanic's certification from ITT Tech. Despite his love of gorging on deep fried chicken wings at the University of Denver dormitory in the early 1970s, Berlet's drug habits and sedentary lifestyle effectively prevented him from from attending class. In other words, he couldn't fit through the front doorway anymore. So one day he waddled himself onto the campus freight elevator and flopped into a flatbed truck usually reserved for transporting orcas at the Denver Aquarium, and hitched a ride to the People's Republic of Massachusetts.
Ragequit!
—--(sic) |
He gave up on WP and fucked off in one screaming lump of rage in 2008. And in May 2012, he quietly returned, under a different name (Chip.berlet), and went right back to the same old shit. Of course he demanded that Wikipedians fix his biography, and of course they did it to shut him up. Read the whole talkpage to get a good "balanced" idea of what Chippy thinks of his magical ass. And he also did what he'd been so good at before, attacking anyone he though wasn't "liberal enough", faggy enough, or "conspiratorial". Amazing the SPLC hadn't called him a "one-man hate group" by now.
See also
External links
- Berlet at Conservapedia
- An article about their falling out at Conservapedia
- There are numerous videos of Chip shooting his mouf off on YT. Sometimes he even removes the Twinkies to say something. This one is more than 3 hours long.
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