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Ryan Schallenberger: Difference between revisions

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==Graded Score==
==Graded Score==
{| style="{{roundy|18px}}{{gradlinear|red|orange}}box-shadow:0 3px 6px gray;padding:1em;margin:0 auto 1em auto;" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="2" border="0"
{{GradedScore|0||0|well, he didn't really do anything|14|manipulation, bomb collection, trenchcoat, macabre flair|8|Creating a moral panic, inspiring generations of [[Faggot|copy-cats]]|18|Actually decent plan|40|F|Good job destroying your entire life!}}
|-
! colspan="2" style="{{roundy|9px}}background-color:red;box-shadow:0 3px 6px orange;" | <big>Graded score</big>
|-
| colspan="2" style="height:9px;overflow:hidden;" |
|-
! style="text-align:right;" | Kill count:
|0/20
|-
! style="text-align:right;vertical-align:top;" | Accuracy:
|0/20<br /> ''well, he didn't really do anything''
|-
! style="text-align:right;" | Style:
|14/20 ''manipulation, bomb collection, trenchcoat, macabre flair''
|-
! style="text-align:right;" | Butthurt:
|8/20 ''Creating a moral panic, inspiring generations of [[faggot|copy-cats]]''
|-
! style="text-align:right;vertical-align:top;" | Bonus:
|18/20<br />''Actually decent plan''
|-
! colspan="2" style="{{roundy|9px}}background-color:orange;box-shadow:0 3px 6px yellow;" | <big>Total score: 40/100 ('''F''')</big>
|}


<center>'''Good job destroying your entire life!'''</center>
{{WantedLevel|level=custom|customstars=[[File:Quarter-Star.png|40px]]|custompic=[[File:Kindergarten Crossing Guard.jpg|128px]]|customdesc=Kindergarten Crossing Guard}}
<div style="{{roundy|10px}}border:2px solid #000;width:30%;background:linear-gradient(#e18f80, #666c05);background:-moz-linear-gradient(#002db3, #4da6ff);background:-webkit-linear-gradient(#002db3, #4da6ff);background:-o-linear-gradient(#e18f80, #666c05);padding:10px;font-weight:bold;font-size:larger">
<span style="font-size:16pt;font-weight:bold">Wanted Level:</span>
<br>
<span> ___________________ </span>
{|align="center"
|[[File:Quarter-Star.png|40px]]
|}
<span> ___________________ </span>
<br>
{|align="center"
|[[File:Kindergarten Crossing Guard.jpg|128px]]
|}
<span style="font-size:12pt;">'''Kindergarten Crossing Guard'''</span>
</div>


==See Also==
==See Also==

Revision as of 22:48, 10 March 2024

Gonna get raped.
Look at that shitty 'stache. It's almost like he was trying to grow a 70's gay porn mustache.

Ryan Schallenberger is the epic fail guy of an hero day 2008 who almost committed a school massacre until his mom got scared and called the partyvan.

His parents called the police after 10 pounds of ammonium nitrate, a fertilizer commonly used in the fabrication of bombs, was delivered to their home in Chesterfield, South Carolina. They also discovered a disturbing journal in which, Ryan whined about his rich and beautiful classmates and praised the "Columbine Killers" like a good little fanboy.

In his journal, Ryan stated that he wanted to "Blow up the school so he could go to heaven and kill Jesus".

His parents also uncovered over a years worth of plans for the bombing, which were very well thought out and could have actually worked. It is yet to be confirmed whether his internet handle is Pokchu. Ryan is now accused of being a terrorist and could face life in prison. Nope, just 10 years. [1]

Graded Score

Graded Score
Kill count: 0/20 '
Accuracy: 0/20 well, he didn't really do anything
Style: 14/20 manipulation, bomb collection, trenchcoat, macabre flair
Butthurt: 8/20 Creating a moral panic, inspiring generations of copy-cats
Bonus: 18/20 Actually decent plan
Total Score: 40/100 (F)
Good job destroying your entire life!
See full ranking


Wanted Level:

Kindergarten Crossing Guard


See Also

External Links

Ryan Schallenberger is part of a series on Education

[Drop OutGo To School]
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