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Lucas Werner: Difference between revisions
imported>JuniusThaddeus Kiwi Farms is back. |
imported>Homicide xi Added Lucas's being kicked out of Starbucks for trying to bang a barista. Please make any necessary edits bc I am not funny |
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Lucas claims to have a superbug, MRSA, on the head of his penis. He apparently has had this infection for over 15 years, which means his immune system is superman. | Lucas claims to have a superbug, MRSA, on the head of his penis. He apparently has had this infection for over 15 years, which means his immune system is superman. | ||
==Banned From Starbucks== | |||
In December 2016, Lucas was on the prowl for some millenial poontang and decided to creep around a Starbucks in Spokane. After ordering his trendy beverage, Lucas handed a note to the barista detailing his plans to take her to dinner and then inseminate her with the most advanced, telomerase-enhanced offspring. He returned the next day and was surprised when he was kicked out by police. He defended his actions (and by extension, his delusions) by saying the age of consent in Washington is 16, the same as the hiring age for Starbucks. | |||
==External links== | ==External links== | ||
*http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/2016/12/29/spokane-washingtons-most-single-man/ | *http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/2016/12/29/spokane-washingtons-most-single-man/ | ||
*http://www.spokesman.com/stories/2017/jan/02/lucas-werner-37-ejected-from-spokane-starbucks-aft/ | |||
*[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/lucas-werner.17234/ A 100 page thread] on [[Kiwi Farms]] | *[https://kiwifarms.net/threads/lucas-werner.17234/ A 100 page thread] on [[Kiwi Farms]] | ||
[[Category:People|Werner, Lucas]] | [[Category:People|Werner, Lucas]] | ||
Revision as of 05:17, 14 March 2017
Lucas Werner (aka Olympiaatheist) is a 36 year old bipolar pedophile $ocialist who still believes Colonel Sanders can win. He is currently poverty and lives in and out of crack dens and other people's front lawns in Spokane, Washington. Lucas Werner, incorrectly, believes that his short telomerase are responsible for better genes than younger, more fertile males with longer, wider telomerase.
Conversation Our Age
Lucas's website is apparently pronounced conversation our age, but due to his bipolar mania was registered as http://conversationrage.weebly.com/. Click on the photo if you want to red robin with him for free steak fries because he can't pay.
Facebook Era
Werner began his career of internet pedophilia by asking underaged girls, most of whom were catfish to meet with him for sex.
Twitter Era
After being catfished and trolled off of facebook, Lucas began to post his psuedoscience to twitter.
YouTube Era
Werner's youtube channel is a collection of schizophrenic tirades from his kindle fire.
MRSA Penis
Lucas claims to have a superbug, MRSA, on the head of his penis. He apparently has had this infection for over 15 years, which means his immune system is superman.
Banned From Starbucks
In December 2016, Lucas was on the prowl for some millenial poontang and decided to creep around a Starbucks in Spokane. After ordering his trendy beverage, Lucas handed a note to the barista detailing his plans to take her to dinner and then inseminate her with the most advanced, telomerase-enhanced offspring. He returned the next day and was surprised when he was kicked out by police. He defended his actions (and by extension, his delusions) by saying the age of consent in Washington is 16, the same as the hiring age for Starbucks.