Encyclopedia Dramatica:Article of the Nao/September 1, 2011

During the last few days, Taekesi's white knight and buttbuddy Tablecow has attempted over 9000 failed attempts to DDoS your beloved Encyclopedia Dramatica, and during the same week, the AIDS-infected CEO of a hipster technology company resigned due to a disclosed medical condition. As a result, we would like to present you with a double feature.

Enter Tablecow, Joseph Defibaugh IRL, an 18 year old mentally unstable dickrider from Florida, determined to destroy ED for the one he loves, Taekesi. It all began in late 2008 on youtube, where he created an account pretending to be Ickeriss69 and going about defending him to the masses. This caught the attention of some users and he began getting trolled. His dox were dropped, and he finally decided to leave the internet in his typical butthurt fashion. Little did everyone know that he'd be back with a vengeance, by getting involved with an anti-troll group on youtube too irrelevant to mention and then white knighting Taekesi, a failed hacker on youtube. All of this has lead up to his e-life causing some serious shit for his real life, such as his slutty girlfriend Kammy

((I will continue to fight like a man until Encyclopedia Dramatica is destroyed))

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Steve 'Rim' Jobs (Steve Jewbs) is the world's second greatest douchebag, the bearer of the Reality Distortion Field, he is the anti-christ, the man who broke Woz's heart, and the man whose company (Apple) has had to be paid by Microsoft to stay in business. He is also the great messiah of Apple and the mysterious power behind homosexuals. Steve Jobs is the world's most lovable asshole.

Steve Jobs's time at Apple was spent hiring Pepsi salesmen, making fun of his underlings' virginity, and ranting against IBM. Jealous of the fact that Woz got to do all the cool shit, Steve worked on the Apple /// and the Lisa (named after his estranged daughter) -- both of which flopped lower than Steve G's manhood. Wandering around for more stuff to do, he discovered that Jef Raskin was working on the Macintosh. Knowing that glory was to be had, he sent out spies to intrude into the heart of Xerox. This was how the GUI was born.

On August 24, 2011, a gaunt Mr. Jobs resigned as Apple CEO, heralding the death of the company (and probably his own).

((If I were running Apple, I would milk the Macintosh for all it's worth — and get busy on the next great thing)).

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