August Ragone

Not pictured: His 400-pound body (or hair)

August Ragone is an obese San Francisco native with a slightly thinning hairline who has been an author, Japanese science fiction aficionado and bouncer at a strip club for over three decades. August has written a book, liner notes and magazine articles that nobody is likely to read and partook in audio commentaries and interviews nobody is likely to listen to or watch, all before you (and possibly your parents) were even born! Sadly, those things are his only real “accomplishments” in life, and when not protecting his sacred strip club, he will likely make empty legal threats or boast about how much better he is than you.

Career

A rare hatless August (far right) with his only two loves: Turdzilla and Bob Wilkins.

File:AugustThreat.jpg

August Ragone spews an empty legal threat. A true Internet Tough Guy.

August was born before you were. Growing up on shitty Godzilla movies, August had his “big break” when he was invited to come on legendary horror film host Bob Wilkins’ show Captain Cosmic and talk about some show nobody else cares about. Since then, August has been the “go-to” guy for shitty Japanese sci-fi facts. His body of work consists of liner notes for DVD releases of shitty Japanese shows and movies, magazine articles about those shitty films and shows, audio commentaries for those shitty films and shows, and even wrote a book about the guy that helped make some of those shitty films and shows. In addition to those, August works as the bouncer at a San Francisco strip club, where he likely scores lots of chicks by telling them Gamera trivia.

Change of heart

August claiming to be the indirect inspiration for Robocop.

August battles the PissedOffVideoGamer, while also stating a blatant lie.

When the original Ultraman from 1966 was first released on DVD in America by company BCI, August advised many people not to buy it, due to them being licensed by Golden Media Group from Thai company Chaiyo. However, years later, when Golden Media Group had involvement with more DVD sets, August jumped aboard to write the liner notes nobody would likely read, possibly to help mommy pay the rent.

About missing Pics

• 
  Chaiyo is the devil, avoid this set like the plague.
• 
  Lol, did I say that? PDF > On paper
• 
  Liner notes guaranteed to be read by everyone.

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Kaiju Movie Marathon

A more recent photo of August without his hat.

In 2015, Shout! Factory announced a "Kaiju sized announcement" to all the socially-inept Godzilla fans out there. What was it? A shitty-ass stream of shitty-ass films fans have likely seen a billion times, hosted by the fat man himself. Oh joy. Since then, August has hosted Shout! Factory's internet marathons for shitty superhero shows watched by five people all while making zero dollars and zero cents.

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Off-Site Links

• His blog
• Godzilla Wikia page
• Creepy guy with pedo-stache responds to August's actions
• The "Kaiju Sized Announcement"
• A truly amazing intereview

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