BAHDUM TISH

●This article needs more BAHDUM TISH● You can help by adding more gaffes, one-liners, and groaners.

You can be an internet hero!

Let’s say you are new to a community on the internet. You don’t know many people on the forum and you feel rather isolated in the community’s chat room because it is overwhelmingly big. What do you do to fit in? You use humor to connect with your new community’s contemporaries. And what better way to use your humor than to tell jokes? Everybody knows that quick, one-line jokes, barbs, and informal witticisms are the best way to win new friends. But that just isn’t good enough for you. No, you want to up the ante and be super cool and more popular than anybody. The best way to do this is to end your jokes with BADUM-TISH!

Description

BAHDUM TISH! (also known as bah-dum-tis, drum-roll, and rimshot!) is onomatopoeia for the quick roll on a snare drum followed by a crash cymbal being hit and then quickly muted. It also happens to be the number one way to make yourself more hip and more internet-powerful than anybody around you.BAHDUM TISH

Usage

Whenever you tell a joke on a forum or during chats, make sure you use BAHDUM TISH! whenever possible. It will make you seem more trendy, fashionable, and by far, more hilarious than everybody else.BAHDUM TISH

Examples

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Please add your own favorite one-liners, barbs, gaffes, and wisecracks below BAHDUM TISH:

1. A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another man. "What the hell are you two doing?" He screams. "See, I told you he was stupid," says the wife to the other man. BAHDUM TISH!

2. Why do we bake cookies and cook bacon? BAHDUM TISH!

3. What do you call a video of pedestrians? Footage. BAHDUM TISH!

4. What's Mary short for? She's got no legs. BAHDUM TISH!

5. I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative. BAHDUM TISH!

6. I got some new underwear yesterday. Well, it was new to me. BAHDUM TISH!

7. There is no "I" in "Team", but there are four in "Platitude-Quoting Idiot". BAHDUM TISH!

8. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose. BAHDUM TISH!

9. Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims? BAHDUM TISH!

10. If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes"? BAHDUM TISH!

11. Don't get married, find a woman you hate and buy her a house. It's a lot easier on you. BAHDUM TISH!

12. Alzheimer's advantage: New friends every day! BAHDUM TISH!

13. They call it PMS because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken. BAHDUM TISH!

14. Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office". Doctor: "Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in."BAHDUM TISH!

15. What do you call an anorexic chick with yeast infection??? Quarter pound with cheese BAHDUM TISH!

16. If you rape a prostitute, is it really rape or is it shoplifting? BAHDUM TISH!

17. What would you call Fred Flintstone if he was black? A nigger! BAHDUM TISH!

18. What's the best part of having sex with a 12 year old girl in the shower? If you pull her hair back she looks like an 8 year old girl! BAHDUM TISH!

19. Why don't Muslim's eat at McDonalds? 'Cause the burkas are better at Hungry Jacks! BAHDUM TISH!

20. What do massage therapists eat for dinner? SPA-Ghetti! BAHDUM TISH!

Variations

These will all work in the same manner as BAHDUM TISH!

• BAH DUM TISH
• BUHDUM TISH
• BAHDUMTISSSSS
• RIMSHOT! (not to be confused with Rimjob)

Disclaimer

After reading this article you may be thinking, Hey! if I use a shitty meme and append it with BAH_DUM_TISH, I can be supercool on ED and everyone will like me! rite!? The answer is no. ED is a large community of superior satire and 9 out of 11 times the people who try to impress the sysops with unoriginal jokes get banned. The other person may have just gotten lucky with this template on their userpage BAHDUM TISH:

This person is an example of the AIDS that is killing ED. He/she is contaminated with dangerous levels of anti-lulz and should be avoided at all costs. Or if you're brave (or already infected), you can just vandalize the fuck out of every one of his/her contributions.

If you would like to actually be funny then you must make an effort to come up with original jokes and articles BAHDUM TISH. Memes are for faggots BAHDUM TISH.

Video

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See Also

• Onomatopoeia

• Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense

• Unfunny

• Funny

• The Comprehensive Theory of Lulz

• Bahdum-tish

• Rim Shot

BAHDUM TISH is part of a series on: WHY IS THERE AN ARTICLE? Other pages that shouldn't exist: Amiibo - Bacon and Eggs - Bad Article - BAHDUM TISH - BITCH WHAT THE FUCK - Blank Article - Boo - Booger - Chair - Chan Ho Park - Carmencurbstomp - Crossfire (board game) - DMV - Everywhere at the End of Time - Flags - Fourth wall - Fuck What You Heard - Gallium - GOTTA GO FAST - Green Onions - Ham - Hobosexual - Honey Bunches of Oats - Horizontal lines - I a£ so drink eight now - IRL Groyper - James Bond - Jar Jar Binks - Korean cry - Lawnmower - Lead - Lodizal - MAO - Nick Offerman - Nigero - Nigger Kike Jew Jar - Nostradamus - Nuoh my god - Operation Madeupname - PAPER MARIO SCREENCAP - Parakeets - Pony - Ror - Server Maintenance - Sex Panther - Space - STOFlames - Take the meat bridge - Tele-marketers - The Warriors - Ultimate Muscle Roller Legend - Unidentified Rodian with jacket - WHERE IS THE ARTICLE? - WHO AM ARTICLE? - WHY IS THERE AN ARTICLE? - WHY IS THEY AN SYSOPS? - Wunderground

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