Dr. Phail

Dr. Phil in full leather atire.

Dr. Phail is a new persona on Avatar Palace; its main intention is to generate lulz. There is absolutely no knowing where this is heading yet; Dr. Phail is a police psychiatrist in lullerzcounty, lullaria and has absolutely no sense of what the young hipsters of today like.

Dr. Phail likes Huey Lewis and the news, Bananarama, Milli Vanilli and the Cosby show. He defiantly knows to his heart it's hip to be square. Including his 74 year old wife, triplets and two other children. He needs help communicating moar with the young hipster, which is pretty gosh darn hard when you are 45 and still wear the same Cosby sweaters you once bought in the 80s and a bow tie.

Dr.Phail on Youtube Suspended/Banhammered

Lollerlog 2, Dr. Phail wishes to become a gangster

Dr. Phail visits Chat palace gangsta rooms and wishes to join their fine fraternaty's. However, he isn't familiar with their jive lingo:

   †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: i'd like to be educated in to the art of becoming a gangster
  Ca$hmere Thoughtz: : : scuse me?
  That O.G MOE:     lol
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: can someone please assist me in to doing so?
  $$Nini hot( repin BK allday): no
  ÐË®ÅÑgËÐ mÏÑЧ:   no
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: doin wat
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: someone told me i needed to learn how to jive talk?
  ÐË®ÅÑgËÐ mÏÑЧ:   being gangster on the net
  ÐË®ÅÑgËÐ mÏÑЧ:   is..
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: and dress appropriatly?
  ÐË®ÅÑgËÐ mÏÑЧ:   a fuckin joke
  wat da hood need (yUng Carter): ^brb
  That O.G MOE:     jacklow 
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: no i wish to become a full fledged member of your fine fraternity
  $$Nini hot( repin BK allday): huh
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: an, how do you say it, real life gangster.
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: wtf u sayin yo
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: no wait
  ÐË®ÅÑgËÐ mÏÑЧ:   i suggest u go to the nearest gang in yo "area" and get jumped in then
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: a regular gangster?
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: lol
  That O.G MOE:     lol
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: really? i doubt it would be that simple
  That O.G MOE:     kid is a clown
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: he look a lil soft let him get blessed in
  ÐË®ÅÑgËÐ mÏÑЧ:   actually..
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: i mean to do anything in life takes effort
  ÐË®ÅÑgËÐ mÏÑЧ:   they gone test u first
  $$Nini hot( repin BK allday): huh
  ÐË®ÅÑgËÐ mÏÑЧ:   but check out sumthin that int on the internet
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: ah, is this a written test?
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: thyll test chu
  ÐË®ÅÑgËÐ mÏÑЧ:   wow@written test
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: i'll let you know i am fluent in 5 different languages
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: and attended camebridge university
  That O.G MOE:     lol
  $$Nini hot( repin BK allday): <<
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: for my masters degree in calculus
  That O.G MOE:     kid is a clown
  ÐË®ÅÑgËÐ mÏÑЧ:    nobody cares about the lanuages u speak
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: and thyll see if u have wat it takes to be a gangmemba
  ßφ|<©[¦] Ïm ÐÅ mÅÑÑ: moe!!!
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: well, i do need to learn how to talk jive.
  ÐË®ÅÑgËÐ mÏÑЧ:   we dot talk jive homeboy
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: jive?
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: how do i say: hello there fine young lady, what is your pleasure for this evening?
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: lol
  ÐË®ÅÑgËÐ mÏÑЧ:   that aint how u really talk so why the hell would u say that
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: i dont know, somebody told me
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: get in mi bed b4 the day ends while i give u pleasure lol
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: and that i should attent teachings here
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: dats how u say it lol
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: ok, get in my bed while i give you oral pleasure?
  ÐË®ÅÑgËÐ mÏÑЧ:   yous get yo ass slapped
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: jk
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: calm down
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: ok
  ÐË®ÅÑgËÐ mÏÑЧ:   >
  ÐË®ÅÑgËÐ mÏÑЧ:   no
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: ohh shit
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: damn
  M3M3:             niggaz c diz shyt
  M3M3:             fuck bloodz
  ÐË®ÅÑgËÐ mÏÑЧ:   you talk to a female the same way u would if u wasn't a damn gangster
  ÐË®ÅÑgËÐ mÏÑЧ:   females dont speak "gangster"
  $$K.O.C$$ JAY:    fuk u too
  M3M3:             bloodz aint shyt
  ŧ[¦]Åцii:       lol
  M3M3:             yalll pusssy
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: wat u repp 
  $$K.O.C$$ JAY:    u aint neither
  ŧ[¦]Åцii:       lol
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: well i do know there are some cultural differences, i recognise many members of your fine group belong to another etnic group other than caucasian
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: m3m3
  M3M3:             i rep dat blue
  M3M3:             dat cripp
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: fuk blue
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: but i figure we are all humans here, and people do say i have a nice sence of humour.
  M3M3:             <><<<
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: blue aoint shit
  M3M3:             da wuz it is
  M3M3:             <<<<<<<<<<
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: and lady's always tell me what a fine company i make, and i am a perfect gentleman.
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: latin kings and bloods is wat it iz fukin crab
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: yes, ill have a cup of coffee thank you.
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: black, with no sugar or milk
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: wat>>>
  Ca$hmere Thoughtz: : df.
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: or wait no, its a better time to have tea
  Ca$hmere Thoughtz: : ashanti
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: im sorry i didnt quite understand
  M3M3:             ^^bb
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: here
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: where are my manners, i'm sorry if i came across wrongly
  ÐË®ÅÑgËÐ mÏÑЧ:   who owns this room?
  Ca$hmere Thoughtz: : me bitch
  Ca$hmere Thoughtz: : fallb ack
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: thank you!
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: take it>>>
  ÐË®ÅÑgËÐ mÏÑЧ:   wow
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: thats very kind of you
  Ca$hmere Thoughtz: : df u say?
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: np
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: *drinks*
  ÐË®ÅÑgËÐ mÏÑЧ:   calm yo hyper ass down
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: what year is this?
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: 2007
  ÐË®ÅÑgËÐ mÏÑЧ:   I just asked a question
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: 1986, a fine year indeed
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: no i meant the wine
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: umm i think
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: *coughs* i have never drank wine this strong
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: thank you kind sir
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: there
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: *drinks*
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: to your good health gentlemen and ladys
  ÐË®ÅÑgËÐ mÏÑЧ:   <
  ÐË®ÅÑgËÐ mÏÑЧ:   hey
  YoBoI_J:          >
  YoBoI_J:          hey
  ÐË®ÅÑgËÐ mÏÑЧ:   omg
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: so ehrm what do gangsters generally do as a regular daily routine?
  *** The owner has frozen loose props here
  *** The owner has frozen loose props here
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: u ever had hipnotiq
  *** The owner has frozen loose props here
  ÐË®ÅÑgËÐ mÏÑЧ:   ooook
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: hipnotiq?
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: well i do enjoy a nice game of othello
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: who owner
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: this shirt you gave me is quite comfortable
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: umm ty
  ~:...:El Maravilloso:...:~: yw
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: no thank you kind sir
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: i notice that this club isn't strictly for gentlemen
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: it is good that people dont judge on sexe here and also allow members of the opposite sex to join your chapter.
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: i've been saying it for years, that we should also allow women in our smokers club.
  wat da hood need (yUng Carter): bac
  $$K.O.C$$ JAY:    good
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: welcome back
  $$K.O.C$$ JAY:    u
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: its quite a silly rule that still stems from 1894
  Ðņ ÑÏ|<|<Å §[¦]¥ÏÑÏÑ: moe!!!
  $$K.O.C$$ JAY:    o
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: and the older gentlemen say that it has always been this way
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: but i told them, listen we had the whole women movement in the 60s, ladies and gentlemen are considered eachothers equals
  $$K.O.C$$ JAY:    on my psp
  Rãsta¦¦Pícklês¦¦yø: Lorena in the house.
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: and history has proven that ladies and gentlemen actually compliment eachother
  {TKG}MALICE:      prison is fun
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: so why not let a women cigar or pipe smoker join as well?
  Rãsta¦¦Pícklês¦¦yø: >
  {TKG}MALICE:      yeah
  Rãsta¦¦Pícklês¦¦yø: Do you know moni?
  That O.G MOE:     ya
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: hello malice, are you also here about the membership?
  Rãsta¦¦Pícklês¦¦yø: which one?
  {TKG}MALICE:      to?
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: well, the gangster membership
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: yes?
  That O.G MOE:     um wa cha mean which one 
  {TKG}MALICE:      im already a gangsta
  Rãsta¦¦Pícklês¦¦yø: mac a moni?
  That O.G MOE:     moni
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: wow, thats great!
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: perhaps we can be bunk buddys?
  Rãsta¦¦Pícklês¦¦yø: yeah.
  {TKG}MALICE:      crappy internet
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: welcome back malice
  Rãsta¦¦Pícklês¦¦yø: she been talking about you.
  {TKG}MALICE:      anyway
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: yes?
  That O.G MOE:     oh
  That O.G MOE:     where she been any ways
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: can i possibly interest you in a fine brandy malice?
  Rãsta¦¦Pícklês¦¦yø: Well nice meeting you, I am Lorena
  That O.G MOE:     ok
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: oh hello, my name is victor lawrence franklin the thirth
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: from the boston franklins
  ©ÅmÏ££Ë:          Baq
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: and no, no relation to benjamin franklin
  {TKG}MALICE:      GOD DAMN
  {TKG}MALICE:      liquor
  Ca$hmere Thoughtz: : ill ove uw henn
  Ca$hmere Thoughtz: : yo hair turns greyyy
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: the decoration in this room is simply stunning, is it from pierce & pierce decoration?
  *** You may send a message to the room owner with `rpage
  * Róÿ¢é [Ð]á 5'9" * ;Px 4.0.5 gone for 6 minutes 44 seconds 
  * Róÿ¢é [Ð]á 5'9" * ^bkc
  * [x.Bonnie]. *   ;Px 4.0.5 gone for 1 minute 4 seconds 
  * [x.Bonnie]. *   ^aim.
  * Fair Dinkum. *  ;Px 4.0.5 gone for 7 minutes 53 seconds 
  * Fair Dinkum. *  ^
  ©ÅmÏ££Ë:          :?
  OoOo ShiDD its (Åj[¦]ËË): me
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: hello fine gentlemen and ladies
  *** Ownership transferred to OoOo ShiDD its (Åj[¦]ËË)
  OoOo ShiDD its (Åj[¦]ËË): me
  OoOo ShiDD its (Åj[¦]ËË): Thank you
  ©ÅmÏ££Ë:          Np
  OoOo ShiDD its (Åj[¦]ËË): hi
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: i am from the other gangster chapter
  OoOo ShiDD its (Åj[¦]ËË): Oh yea
  cøøbana:          >
  cøøbana:          lmfao
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: ive been meaning to check for other fine chapters
  Jaq the Omnipøtent.: rofl.
  *** You have been kicked out by OoOo ShiDD its (Åj[¦]ËË)
  n·å·u·†·i·ç·ã™:   vouchin dollas pop ya collas then ya holla thats whats up
  `Miisz.3lmO:      lmfao.
  `Miisz.3lmO:      mila.
  `Miisz.3lmO:      gimiie ur digitsz ma rofll.
  +»Mi Amor«+{Mello}™: ea ma
  +»Mi Amor«+{Mello}™: ii on msn
  `Miisz.3lmO:      ii.
  `Miisz.3lmO:      lo0lsz.
  *** Message to OoOo ShiDD its (Åj[¦]ËË): well that was rather rude, why did you do that?
  {TKG}MALICE:      hey phail
  `Miisz.3lmO:      ii.
  {TKG}MALICE:      ur back
  {TKG}MALICE:      lol
  +»Mi Amor«+{Mello}™: 2
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: yeah lol
  `Miisz.3lmO:      ii. 1
  +»Mi Amor«+{Mello}™: <
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: i was kicked from the other gangster room
  {TKG}MALICE:      im just trying to get sent here
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: lol
  {TKG}MALICE:      for what
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: because i belong to a different gangster chapter haha
  {TKG}MALICE:      lol
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: i was talking all english like to them
  *** Message from OoOo ShiDD its (Åj[¦]ËË): sorry
  *** You have been unkicked by OoOo ShiDD its (Åj[¦]ËË)
  n·å·u·†·i·ç·ã™:   lol
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: first i joined the one group then i went to visit the other
  {TKG}MALICE:      i should go inthere and be racist lol
  *** Message from OoOo ShiDD its (Åj[¦]ËË): ill unkick u
  {TKG}MALICE:      see what happens
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: lol well, i told them i was from camebridge
  n·å·u·†·i·ç·ã™:   so you miss elmo?
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: that my name was victor lawrence franklin the thirth
  {TKG}MALICE:      lol
  * [x.Bonnie]. *   ;Px 4.0.5 gone for 3 minutes 42 seconds 
  * [x.Bonnie]. *   ^aim.
  * Róÿ¢é [Ð]á 5'9" * ;Px 4.0.5 gone for 9 minutes 23 seconds 
  * Róÿ¢é [Ð]á 5'9" * ^bkc
  * Fair Dinkum. *  ;Px 4.0.5 gone for 10 minutes 32 seconds 
  * Fair Dinkum. *  ^
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: thank you
  OoOo ShiDD its (Åj[¦]ËË): you welcome
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: i am sorry if i seem clumsy, ive been trying to become a full fledge gangster
  ßÅߥ mÏ£Ø:        you can ride all day long................................................ but youll neva catch mr jones
  OoOo ShiDD its (Åj[¦]ËË): Oh Okay
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: my name is victor lawrence franklin the thirth, no relation to benjamin
  {TKG}MALICE:      i can just leave that bitch whenever 
  {TKG}MALICE:      lol
  {TKG}MALICE:      no wiz ever comes for me
  Jaq the Omnipøtent.: thirth, huh
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: ive been meaning to try and learn how to talk your lingo
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: and become a gangster
  cøøbana:          omg
  {TKG}MALICE:      same here
  * OoOo ShiDD its (Åj[¦]ËË) * O.k stop talking
  cøøbana:          i just choked to death
  * OoOo ShiDD its (Åj[¦]ËË) * so much
  Jaq the Omnipøtent.: on what
  * OoOo ShiDD its (Åj[¦]ËË) * we dont care
  Jaq the Omnipøtent.: and why
  cøøbana:          idk
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: im sorry
  {TKG}MALICE:      we wanna speak negro
  Jaq the Omnipøtent.: keep them cocks
  Jaq the Omnipøtent.: out your mouth
  cøøbana:          im tearing
  cøøbana:          and shit
  Jaq the Omnipøtent.: rofl.
  cøøbana:          god damn
  cøøbana:          lol
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: so how does one go about on becoming a member of your fine fraternity?
  *** We are currently looking for 4-5 outstanding new staff members. Think you have what it takes?  Say wizapp to find out.
  * OoOo ShiDD its (Åj[¦]ËË) * shhhhhh
  {TKG}MALICE:      yes
  {TKG}MALICE:      how
  That O.G MOE:     wow
  * †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··† * i apologize i am just trying to mingle
  {TKG}MALICE:      do we need to kill police?
  ©ÅmÏ££Ë:           v
  ©ÅmÏ££Ë:           ;]
  * OoOo ShiDD its (Åj[¦]ËË) * u neeed to stop
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: oh my word, who would go and kill an officer of the law?
  *** You have been kicked out by OoOo ShiDD its (Åj[¦]ËË)

Lollerlog 2, Part II

 †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: i think i like this gangster chapter better
  §vˆ£ÅÑÅ:         huny
  Ø[¦] φz Yo Boi Q ßËÅ®!: naw imma stay 
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: the other one is quite rude
  jËËz¥ †[¦]Ë §ÑØ\\'mÅÑ: ^shower
  »Ï GÜ駧«»£å'Ðéé«·: lol
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: they just set me right out the door
  Ca$hmere Thoughtz: : taht girl
  Ca$hmere Thoughtz: : she goesss
  »Ï GÜ駧«»£å'Ðéé«·: :rkick  dat  asss tina
  »Ï GÜ駧«»£å'Ðéé«·: lmaoOO
  Ca$hmere Thoughtz: : her ahair
  Ca$hmere Thoughtz: : her toess
  Ø[¦] φz Yo Boi Q ßËÅ®!: i got a lil gurl watchin a moview rite now
  Ca$hmere Thoughtz: : that girll
  Ca$hmere Thoughtz: : she goesss
  »Ï GÜ駧«»£å'Ðéé«·: o
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: can one of you fine members teach me how to approach a member of the opposite sex using gangster lingo?
  »Ï GÜ駧«»£å'Ðéé«·: >>
  King Killgreedy.: "Obnoxious"-Immortal Technique.
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: for example, how would i go to say good evening to tinababe?
  Tin@B@Be $$:      wat?
  »Ï GÜ駧«»£å'Ðéé«·: SAY  GOODEVENIN
  T-dizzle:         fuck her 2
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: well i am trying to teach how to talk the talk and walk the walk
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: well i'd have to marry her first
  King Killgreedy.: You may wanna do what without the pop hat on man.
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: hey there she is! she was the rude woman i met earlier
  Tin@B@Be $$:       = /
  King Killgreedy.: pope*
  T-dizzle:         you can ride all day long................................................ but youll neva catch mr jones
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: oooo shidd
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: she was the one that set me out the door
  »Ï GÜ駧«»£å'Ðéé«·: damnNn
  King Killgreedy.: Your mom rode all day long.
  King Killgreedy.: Shut your scrub ass up.
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: perhaps i wasnt using the correct words to approach her?
  `;ii[n]tiiciinq™: : ;x
  »Ï GÜ駧«»£å'Ðéé«·: !lol
  T-dizzle:         yo moma rode my dick
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: for example if i would want to ask her how she is doing tonight
  wat da hood need (yUng Carter): lol
  *** You have been kicked out by Tin@B@Be $$
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: how would i say this?
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: LOL
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: ohhh man i need to save these logs
  

Lollerlog 1, Dr. Phail is having a hard time understanding today's youth and AIM

 
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: actually i am a police psychiatrist posing as a hip youngster to get online predators arrested!
  AtomicAngel:      shit faced
  AtomicAngel:      high...
  thou art stfu.:   uh huh.
  Thuggin' While I'm Tuggin': sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet
  thou art stfu.:   i bet you're with Dateline.
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: at least that is what the voices in my head tell me to do.
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: Your going to need some lessons in that department
  Gibbon - Failed Hero: then an av of an old geezer with moustache will surely help..
  Jimmy:            lol....i appreciate it
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: no i am not affiliated with any tv studio
  thou art stfu.:   we can't believe anything you say.
  AtomicAngel:      he affilated with his wifes penis maybe?
  thou art stfu.:   i think you're an internet predator.
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: yes, i am trying to be hip with modern youngsters, but somehow kids today don't seem to know huey lewis and the news.
  AtomicAngel:      probly is
  AtomicAngel:      NO PHIL I DONT WANT ANY CANDY FROM YOU
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: I know Huey Lewis and The News
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: sweet! then you know how hip it is to be square!
  thou art stfu.:   hm..
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: <[o_O]>
  thou art stfu.:   this early..
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: <.<
  thou art stfu.:   and in this state of mind...
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: or as you young lads say it today: word to the mothers fucker.
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: Your going to need help if you are who you say you are
  thou art stfu.:   my brain is reading this guy as a paradox.
  Thuggin' While I'm Tuggin': yeah?
  AtomicAngel:      either way he needs help
  AtomicAngel:      cause if hes not
  thou art stfu.:   is he real? you're all seeing this right?
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: perhaps i will need some help with it.
  AtomicAngel:      hes posing as a 45 year old geezer with serious issues
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: I can't believe I'm going to do this
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: Do you have AIM?
  AtomicAngel:      no gay shit man^
  AtomicAngel:      WQOW!
  thou art stfu.:   page a wiz.
  AtomicAngel:      DID HE OFFER YOU CANDY DUDE?
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: no, i am not allowed to wear any rifles.
  Thuggin' While I'm Tuggin': rollin a spliff :)
  Jimmy:            im 21
  thou art stfu.:   23.
  Gibbon - Failed Hero: 21
  Thuggin' While I'm Tuggin': wow my alarm just went off
  Thuggin' While I'm Tuggin': 17
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: i am only a police psychiatrist, not an actual officer of the law.
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: I'm not talking about guns
  AtomicAngel:      Then the police needs to be excluded
  thou art stfu.:   so you help cops that shoot people and have a problem with it.
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: normally i evaluate the officers and give them a psychiatric report.
  L:                I am an officer of the Lawl
  ùnëmplöyëd Ñínjá: Lol
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: thou as conflicting as it may seem, yes, sometimes i do.
  AtomicAngel:      chinks arent cops man>
  L:                shut up we chinks are the master race
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: for example one of our fine police officers once tried his tazer on his wife's poodle
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: the poor thing limped for a week
  AtomicAngel:      fuckin gooks lol
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: and he was afraid afterwards to even touch the tazer.
  Jimmy:            lol...tool
  thou art stfu.:   even though you're short and statistically have small penises.
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: Time out a second
  thou art stfu.:   you pwn all.
  L:                we statistically are the smartest people just like we have smaller penis statistically
  Gibbon - Failed Hero: xD
  L:                stats don't lie
  AtomicAngel:      umm bro why you doubtin my Cock Size man
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: I'm going to help you, should you prove not to be who you say you are
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: We'll never speak again
  thou art stfu.:   satistically, you breed too much. and are running out of room.
  Thuggin' While I'm Tuggin': lol
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: ok!
  L:                it just means we get more ass on a whole
  AtomicAngel:      well i guess your ognan default somthing so you  start life wit ha 2 inches in stead of a half inch for you people right>
  L:                har har
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: First off
  thou art stfu.:   until you have to eat your newborns to make room.
  thou art stfu.:   then you're just disgusting.
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: go to www.aim.com
  ùnëmplöyëd Ñínjá: O_o
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: ok
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: And download the program
  AtomicAngel:      sun^
  AtomicAngel:      wtf are you doin
  AtomicAngel:      dont let him molest you
  thou art stfu.:   i heard people throw babies in the trash in asia, if they aren't boys.
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: lulz
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: I don't know, but my instincts are telling me to go with this
  AtomicAngel:      they do
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: ok what do i do next?
  Jimmy:            i can easily prove to you he is no doc
  AtomicAngel:      i remember hearing about that in school
  thou art stfu.:   easily prove it then.
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: You have to generate a Screen Name to sign on as, kinda like you did for Palace
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: ah i see
  thou art stfu.:   you pimp as studer.
  Jimmy:            he said he is a psychiatrist right?
  thou art stfu.:   yes.
  AtomicAngel:      again sunshadow
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: Yeah
  AtomicAngel:      wtf are you doing
  Gibbon - Failed Hero: a POLICE one
  AtomicAngel:      you wanna talk to the pervert?
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: gosh darnit, it says the nickname petergabriel is already taken
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: Dammit, I don't know
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: now what do i do?
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: Try another
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: ok
  thou art stfu.:   petergabriel. lol
  AtomicAngel:      Anyone wanan trade spots?
  thou art stfu.:   this dude is old.
  AtomicAngel:      this guy is like freakin me out
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: I know
  thou art stfu.:   no way atomic.
  thou art stfu.:   you stay there.
  Jimmy:            well, psychiatrists have an md, which means they went to med school....and in med school you take a class called pharmocology
  thou art stfu.:   keep me safe.
  AtomicAngel:      ah fuck you  thou lol
  Gibbon - Failed Hero: no thanks i'm comfy..
  thou art stfu.:    :P
  L:                I majored in psychology.
  thou art stfu.:   better you than me hun.
  Jimmy:            i know because i am a first year med student
  AtomicAngel:      cause your a gook>
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: damn it to batsies, sushieandthebanshees is taken as well
  thou art stfu.:    :D
  Thuggin' While I'm Tuggin': im majoring in nugenomics
  AtomicAngel:      how about you make yours
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: Keep trying until you get one that isn't
  Thuggin' While I'm Tuggin': ZING
  AtomicAngel:      sickpervert54?
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: keep in mind you have to fill out the rest of the form as well
  thou art stfu.:   try.. ima_sexual_predator_A/S/L?
  AtomicAngel:      id hope he knew that
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: LOL
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: ok drfeldman69 is not yet taken
  Jimmy:            so he should have some knowledge of medications, especially the ones he would prescribe as a psychiatrist
  thou art stfu.:   sorry.
  thou art stfu.:   outta line.
  thou art stfu.:   yeaaah!!!
  thou art stfu.:   here's a scenario.
  thou art stfu.:   nevermind.
  thou art stfu.:   lol.
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: yes i am getting a screen name now
  AtomicAngel:      Yes well jimmy there are alot of ways around that apprently these days
  thou art stfu.:   too tired.
  AtomicAngel:      Because now i have met this  fuckup
  AtomicAngel:      and it is makin me not wanna leave my house
  Gibbon - Failed Hero: atomic, steal jimmy's spot
  AtomicAngel:      MUHAHAAH
  Gibbon - Failed Hero: while you have the chance
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: >.>
  Jimmy:            hey doc, what class of drug is cymbalta?
  thou art stfu.:   if you go to dr. phail's house.. dateline's gunna get you.
  AtomicAngel:      Thank you gibbon
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: im sorry i dont do drugs young man
  Gibbon - Failed Hero: no problemo
  thou art stfu.:   put your face on the tv screen
  AtomicAngel:      BULLSHIT!@
  L:                You should all listen to Dr. Phail, he's very qualified.
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: thank you L
  AtomicAngel:      dude your probly popin 4 oxys a day!
  thou art stfu.:   qualified to creep me the fuck out.
  ùnëmplöyëd Ñínjá: ^/
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: ok i have the screen name and i am downloading some program
  thou art stfu.:   haha.
  Gibbon - Failed Hero: xD
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: this isn't what you young hipsters would call a trojan horse is it?
  L:                LET HIM HELP YOU HELP YOURSELF
  thou art stfu.:   that'd be funny if it's porn.
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: The program you are downloading is called an Instant Messengar
  Gibbon - Failed Hero: xD
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: oh ok
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: No
  thou art stfu.:   no one uses trojan horses anymore.
  AtomicAngel:      no sorry its not kiddy porn buddy
  thou art stfu.:   they use spartans duh.
  thou art stfu.:   get in the now gramps.
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: LOL
  Jimmy:            lol
  Gibbon - Failed Hero: we switched to trojan ponies now
  thou art stfu.:   haha
  Jimmy:            i win
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: will i be able to sent messages to my wife with it?
  thou art stfu.:   how many kids you got?
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: me?
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: I'll explain that later
  thou art stfu.:   you can send msgs telepathically with it. dr. phail.
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: First things first
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: i have triplets
  thou art stfu.:   so yes.
  AtomicAngel:      His kids im guessing are like diognosed with down syndrome?
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: and an older boy and a girl
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: atomicangel thats a very mean thing to say
  Jimmy:            why are MAOI's not a safe method of treating clinical depression?
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: please apologize
  AtomicAngel:      Well phil
  AtomicAngel:      look at your self
  AtomicAngel:      if oyu are who you say you are
  thou art stfu.:   don't waste your energy doc.
  AtomicAngel:      your a very sad sad man
  thou art stfu.:   no one apologizes on palace.
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: jimmy because usually they make people talk to their fridge
  AtomicAngel:      exactly
  Jimmy:            lol
  thou art stfu.:   it's straight Dawinism here.
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: oh is that common netiquette?
  thou art stfu.:   no apologies.
  thou art stfu.:   survival of the fittest.
  AtomicAngel:      Anyone here live in New Hampshire
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: i once had a patient who swore she was a red haring
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: it was the strangest thing i had ever seen
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: we even had to get a tub in my office for her to even speak to me
  Thuggin' While I'm Tuggin': lmao
  thou art stfu.:   i know a guy who took too much acid and now thinks he's a glass of juice.
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: we called her tubgirl
  AtomicAngel:      LOL!!!
  Jimmy:            what type of personality disorder would that be classified under in the DSM V
  Gibbon - Failed Hero: xD
  thou art stfu.:   locked in a padded room.
  thou art stfu.:   in iowa.
  Jimmy:            lol
  Thuggin' While I'm Tuggin': could have been worse
  AtomicAngel:      IM A GLASS OF JUCIE DRINK ME DRINK ME
  Gibbon - Failed Hero: xD
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: wait, people at the DMV have personality disorders?
  thou art stfu.:   no no.
  AtomicAngel:      BAHH IM ORANGEY
  thou art stfu.:   he freaks when people try to touch him.
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: that explains why i had to take the exam 3 times before passing it
  thou art stfu.:   he fears he will spill and die.
  AtomicAngel:      lol
  AtomicAngel:      Cause he doesnt wnat them to drink him
  Gibbon - Failed Hero: xDDD
  Thuggin' While I'm Tuggin': lol thast messed up
  AtomicAngel:      im guessin
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: ok the program is inside my computer now, now what do i do?
  thou art stfu.:   and the doctors fear his brain will really shut down.
  Thuggin' While I'm Tuggin': how longs he been like that?
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: Install it
  Gibbon - Failed Hero: the juiceboy..
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: You just downloaded it
  AtomicAngel:      haha<
  thou art stfu.:   haha
  thou art stfu.:   stfu yous
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: You have to find where the file downloaded and double click it
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: do i need to double click it?
  thou art stfu.:    :P
  Jimmy:            why are you trying to get him on aim?
  ~†«§ünshàdôw»†~™ §Ð†: Follow the steps
  thou art stfu.:   eat me raw, pig D:
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: ok!
  thou art stfu.:    :|
  thou art stfu.:   i need to go to bed..
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: heavens to betsy it is giving me a lot of information
  thou art stfu.:   shh
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: i'd have to contact my laywer in order to look trough the agreement first
  Saltybeanz:       Hey.. -new to this-
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: hold on while i fax him the AOL agreement
  AtomicAngel:      lol
  thou art stfu.:   haha.
  AtomicAngel:      fucking homo
  thou art stfu.:   huh?
  thou art stfu.:   errrrrr
  thou art stfu.:   k
  AtomicAngel:      HEY GUYS!
  AtomicAngel:      JEWBS =D
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: just my luck, a college of mine just walked in here with a panic attack
  AtomicAngel:      lol
  thou art stfu.:   im not a nazi
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: hold on while i give him a glass of water and a paper bag
  AtomicAngel:      Lol thi guy is so retarded
  thou art stfu.:   whoa weird.
  thou art stfu.:   aim disappeared then like
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: look buster just because an officer of the law has agorafobia doesn't make him a retard
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: we have the finest lawmen here of the whole country
  AtomicAngel:      im talkin abotu you prick
  thou art stfu.:   you have agoraphobia?
  thou art stfu.:   you spelled it wrong doc.
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: no, the officer that just walked in my office has it
  AtomicAngel:      Your seriously fucked 3 ways in the head
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: ok atomicangel i think you need a time out young man
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: i will not have you speak to me that way
  AtomicAngel:      oh fuck you pal ok
  thou art stfu.:   GET BACK!
  AtomicAngel:      i see weird fucks on this place jut like you everyday
  thou art stfu.:   HES GUNNA GRAB YOU! D:
  AtomicAngel:      but most dont take it this far
  thou art stfu.:   OMG OMG MOVE!
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: thats insulting an officer in the line of duty
  Jimmy:            so you suffer from frequent panic attacks?
  thou art stfu.:   GET OUT DA WAY!
  thou art stfu.:   phew.
  AtomicAngel:      No i dont
  thou art stfu.:   that was close......
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: again, an officer in my office has it
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: not me
  thou art stfu.:   k.
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: i can assure you i have a clean bill of health
  thou art stfu.:   i should go.
  thou art stfu.:    x4
  AtomicAngel:      ITs 6:53 here
  Thuggin' While I'm Tuggin': yeah im outa here
  Thuggin' While I'm Tuggin': i cant even read whats goin on
  thou art stfu.:   PEACE NOOCH >.>
  AtomicAngel:      well you dont want to
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: hang on while i stop my colleage from rotating in my office
  Thuggin' While I'm Tuggin': later bitches
  AtomicAngel:      Later deano
  thou art stfu.:   lata asshole! D:
  Thuggin' While I'm Tuggin': hahah
  thou art stfu.:   me?
  thou art stfu.:   yesm
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: i definatly have to go for a moment now since this colleage seems to think he is an airplane
  thou art stfu.:   you dont understand..
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: i guess he needs some counseling
  thou art stfu.:   the shit my mind has been through..
  †··¤Ðr.Phâîl¤··†: ill be back in two shakes of a lambs tail
  No connection - Click Anywhere to enter a Palace

His fax with the AOL agreement is on it's way to his laywer. Dr. Phail doesn't just click yes to any agreement he sees in his computer.

Dr. Phail is part of a series on Chat Logs

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