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Kotakoti: Difference between revisions
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Since being aired on wing-wong local news, Dakota has taken to lying about her age fervently in a desperate attempt to gain favour with her [[azn|Asian]] fans, who won't touch anything older then 8 with a chopstick. Ages can range anywhere from 15 to 18, though it's mostly 16 years old on a good day. It seems that nobody has yet thought to question her varying ages, even despite Dakota uploading an image of herself blowing out the candles on an "'''18th'''" birthday cake. | Since being aired on wing-wong local news, Dakota has taken to lying about her age fervently in a desperate attempt to gain favour with her [[azn|Asian]] fans, who won't touch anything older then 8 with a chopstick. Ages can range anywhere from 15 to 18, though it's mostly 16 years old on a good day. It seems that nobody has yet thought to question her varying ages, even despite Dakota uploading an image of herself blowing out the candles on an "'''18th'''" birthday cake. | ||
[[Youtube]] and [[Tumblr]] users have been seen attempting to leave comments questioning the [[bullshit|validity]] of her [[lies|beauty]], only having found them to be hastily removed by none other then Kotakoti herself. | |||
Past inquiries have yielded mixed results, Dakota having once revealed that she does in fact wear hair extensions and false eyelashes; has since backtracked completely and deleted all [[truth|evidence]] of her having ever said so. There has been speculation regarding the condition of her eyes, which appear to change shape and colour entirely at random, however Dakota has stated that she not wear circle lenses so it must be [[photoshop|true]]. | |||
Of course nobody will be able to provide you with caps of her saying any of this on account of her [[delete fucking everything|deleting fucking everything]]. | |||
== Background == | == Background == | ||
Previously mentioned as being the younger sister of haggard, past-it [[camwhore]], Kiki Kannibal (Kristen Ostrenga), Dakota Rose's life has been laced with drama, lies (mostly theirs), a supposed statutory [[rape]], a man dying as a direct result from supposed statutory rape, foreclosure and a shit load of hefty fines. When it comes to being white trash, the Ostrengas pretty much | Previously mentioned as being the younger sister of haggard, past-it [[camwhore]], Kiki Kannibal (Kristen Ostrenga), Dakota Rose's life has been laced with drama, lies (mostly theirs), a supposed statutory [[rape]], a man dying as a direct result from supposed statutory rape, foreclosure and a shit load of hefty fines. When it comes to being [[white trash]], the Ostrengas pretty much invented the definition. | ||
Her parents, Cathy and Scott Ostrenga, encouraged Kiki and Dakota from a young age into competitive [[whore|whoring]]. | Her parents, Cathy and Scott Ostrenga, encouraged Kiki and Dakota from a young age into competitive [[whore|whoring]]. | ||
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Image:Dakota Rose eighteenth.jpg|Dakota claims to be only 15.. of course that would explain the number 18 on her birthday cake. | Image:Dakota Rose eighteenth.jpg|Dakota claims to be only 15.. of course that would explain the number 18 on her birthday cake. | ||
Image:Dakota Ostrenga Deleted.jpg|Signs of fetal alcohol syndrome may include: a short, upturned nose, indistinct philtrum, flattened cheekbones, a wide, flat forehead.. | Image:Dakota Ostrenga Deleted.jpg|Signs of fetal alcohol syndrome may include: a short, upturned nose, indistinct philtrum, flattened cheekbones, a wide, flat forehead.. | ||
Image:Kotakoti seems legit.jpg|"Hm.. seems legit" | |||
Image:Kotakoti Megaphotoshop.jpg|"Dakota Rose, Photoshop? Nawww!" | Image:Kotakoti Megaphotoshop.jpg|"Dakota Rose, Photoshop? Nawww!" | ||
Image:Kotakoti soon.jpg| | Image:Kotakoti soon.jpg| | ||
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{{cg|Dakota back in her | {{cg|Dakota back in her Scene-kid days|Kotakoti2|center|<gallery> | ||
Image:Scene dakota rose 2.jpg| | Image:Scene dakota rose 2.jpg| | ||
Image:Scene dakota 1.jpg| | Image:Scene dakota 1.jpg| |
Revision as of 11:30, 30 December 2011
Kotakoti, also known as Dakota Rose (real name Dakota Ostrenga), is Kiki Kannibal's younger, slightly more fuckable, suspected Fetal Alcohol Syndrome victim (basically, her mothers a drunk) and serial Photoshop abusing sister.
First recognized to have been embroiled in the Kiki Kannibal Buzznet shitstorm, (circa 2006 - today), Dakota has since decided that she does not want to make the intelligent decision of learning from her older, whore sisters mistakes and has begun making quite a name for herself; namely on 4chan's cosplay & EGL imageboard, /cgl/.
Introduction to Kotakoti
The first thing you need to know about Dakota Ostrenga, is that she's 100% real, and by 100% we mean she lies about fucking everything. Tainted by her older sisters past delusions of internet grandeur, fed up of always being pushed to the back, she's finally beginning to shine. You don't like it? Like Dakota gives a shit, you're all just a bunch of "pedophile lesbians".
Dakota has spent her time over the last year well, furiously troweling on the makeup and taking hundreds of carefully angled photographs, submitting them to various social networking outlets across the web in her desperation to be noticed by anybody. Of course, it didn't take long for her photos to be picked up by the Asian Media, who're well known for their love of children and unfuckable loli's.
Much to Dakotas dismay, it turned out she was only featured on an inferior Asian countries news slot and not the kawaii Japanese national headlines she'd been hoping for. The slot in question was a minor Chinese newscast usually shown between ad breaks who'd aired a piece the previous day on a polydactyl cat and a infomercial on dog sweaters the day before that. Despite this, Dakota will still brag and push it like it is a really huge deal, because she's going to be a famous loli you know.
Since being aired on wing-wong local news, Dakota has taken to lying about her age fervently in a desperate attempt to gain favour with her Asian fans, who won't touch anything older then 8 with a chopstick. Ages can range anywhere from 15 to 18, though it's mostly 16 years old on a good day. It seems that nobody has yet thought to question her varying ages, even despite Dakota uploading an image of herself blowing out the candles on an "18th" birthday cake. Youtube and Tumblr users have been seen attempting to leave comments questioning the validity of her beauty, only having found them to be hastily removed by none other then Kotakoti herself. Past inquiries have yielded mixed results, Dakota having once revealed that she does in fact wear hair extensions and false eyelashes; has since backtracked completely and deleted all evidence of her having ever said so. There has been speculation regarding the condition of her eyes, which appear to change shape and colour entirely at random, however Dakota has stated that she not wear circle lenses so it must be true. Of course nobody will be able to provide you with caps of her saying any of this on account of her deleting fucking everything. BackgroundPreviously mentioned as being the younger sister of haggard, past-it camwhore, Kiki Kannibal (Kristen Ostrenga), Dakota Rose's life has been laced with drama, lies (mostly theirs), a supposed statutory rape, a man dying as a direct result from supposed statutory rape, foreclosure and a shit load of hefty fines. When it comes to being white trash, the Ostrengas pretty much invented the definition. Her parents, Cathy and Scott Ostrenga, encouraged Kiki and Dakota from a young age into competitive whoring.
Don't let mommy Ostrenga see these.. About missing Pics
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