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HBalthamos: Difference between revisions

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==Closet Lesbian==
==Closet Lesbian==


If any of you were to meet her for the first time, you'd think she was your [[bullshit|average]], [[LIES|straight]] [[obese|whale]]. Oh no, what she fails to tell you is that she has [[FAP FAP FAP|sexual fantasies]] about [[Too many to count|some]] female characters. If you don't beleive this, feel free to go to her [[furaffinity|FagAffinity]] page [http://www.furaffinity/user/balthykins Here], her [http://www.hbalthamos.deviantart.com/favourites/ Deviantart] and look upon her [[DO NOT WANT|favourites]] and see the lesbian pictures she [[Bullshit|likes non-sexually]], that is, if you can brave the rest of her gallery without gouging your eyes out first. Some characters she [[FAP|likes]] are :
If any of you were to talk to her for the first time, you'd think she was your [[bullshit|average]], [[LIES|straight]] [[obese|whale]]. Oh no, what she fails to tell you is that she has [[FAP FAP FAP|sexual fantasies]] about [[Too many to count|some]] female characters. If you don't beleive this, feel free to go to her [[furaffinity|FagAffinity]] page [http://www.furaffinity/user/balthykins Here], her [http://www.hbalthamos.deviantart.com/favourites/ Deviantart] and look upon her [[DO NOT WANT|favourites]] and see the lesbian pictures she [[Bullshit|likes non-sexually]], that is, if you can brave the rest of her gallery without gouging your eyes out first. Some characters she [[FAP|likes]] are :


##[[Bayonetta|Bayonetta]]
##[[Bayonetta|Bayonetta]]
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The matter of the fact is, no one has ever called her out on this it seems, otherwise she would have [[B'AWWWW|proceeded to delete everything that makes her a lesbian]]. That and anyone who dares to point this out would most likely succumb to her [[Wuss|Block]] tactic that [[Does it really?|always works]]. I'm also sure that the fact she has a boyfriend automatically makes her completely [[nope|straight]]
The matter of the fact is, no one has ever called her out on this it seems, otherwise she would have [[B'AWWWW|proceeded to delete everything that makes her a lesbian]]. That and anyone who dares to point this out would most likely succumb to her [[Wuss|Block]] tactic that [[Does it really?|always works]]. I'm also sure that the fact she has a boyfriend automatically makes her completely [[nope|straight]]


==External Links==
==External Links==

Revision as of 20:37, 13 February 2012

HBalthamos, a British furfag and Eevee-obsessed Pokémon-nut who is probably on her 4th or 5th DeviantArt account by now, having been previously known by related handles such as H-Balth and Homao-Balthamos. Faith is a tartlet so vacuous that she cannot even spell 'homo' correctly.

The FGAS does absolutely nothing for her.


Her popularity stems from an Eevee recolor OC drawn in the Sonic style, the style in which every retard seems to be mimicking on dA nowadays. Hordes of basement-dwelling sheeple gobble every last word of her unintelligibly-written journals, which, more often than not, bemoan her life and the lack of attention paid to her. Many supporters have fapped their tiny members after commenting on this drivel, hoping the beautiful maiden behind the screenname will open her gaping vagoo for them in return for their e-sympathy.

For years she has claimed to be perfecting her 'art', yet the only subject she draws is her irritating little Eevee fursona which of course resembles her. Rather than actually improving her skills, she spends the majority of her time whoring attention from the Sonic community, begging for points donations, art gifts and trading shitty art in return.

The Land from Whence the Lardo Came

Faith dropped out of some whore's vagina on 2nd January, 1990. She hails from some shithole called Portsmouth in England, UK. However, she has not resided there for years, having hopped from desperate virgin to desperate virgin for a free roof over her head and Pokémon plushes.

Having bed-hopped (if a creature that size can actually hop) via York to Liverpool, she has left behind a trail of broken hearts and owed money.

Accepting expensive presents off a guy you're about to break up with is A-OK!

Screwing over guys for money and presents sure is fun!

Forever alone...

Sinking her greasy paws into her latest victim.


Such information is freely available due to her useless spamming of the communities on LiveJournal, Twitter, deviantArt and FurAffinity. That's right, ladies and gentlemen: attention-whoring on just one web community simply isn't enough.

   
 
Not too long ago, I had a big relationship problem, and in a fit of LOLRAGE, I deleted my DA account because it was OH SO associated with him, and the past... If this is something wrong, then im sorry, Sorry I went back to being me, I've had this character for too damn long for it to be replaced instantly. I'm sorry If I've upset some people ( Which obviously over at twitter, I have? )

I cant change what I've done, hell if I could I would. But it's not like im LOL LEAVING DA OR ANYTHING. IF YOU ASK, HOMELL IS NOT MY CHARACTER ANYMORE LMFAO. I gave her to my best friend, so balth is getting a revamp, y'know, stuffs going down.. sorry for the whole account swap, this wont happen again, it was kind of like " Do I like a change, no. I don't.. okay, i'll go back now " kind of thing ( The real reason for having to change accounts was the fact of "homell" was the username, and well.. It wouldn't work very well if I had Homell's name around still LOL )

SO TL;DR

LIKE IT OR NOT IM BACK BBYS
 


 
 

—What.

GOTIS

Her uninventive Eevee recolor, with large, pert breasts and a tiny waist is used as a cunning weapon to lure in the unsuspecting virgin...

Potential boner?

... and then we have the real HBalthamos, in all her obese glory.

Total anti-boner

Miraculously, this still doesn't put off the desperate ones.

"Burglary" Controversy

As of September 2011, Faith has recently been "burgled" and thereafter whined about it for days on end on her deviantArt, LiveJournal and Twitter. She claimed poverty by declaring that she had but £25 to her name and that all her games consoles and associated games were stolen, which would not be replaced for free because she is a moron and didn't have insurance. She would not shut up about it until her incessant whining caused her adoring fans to donate $300 to her, which she promptly spent on plush toys and video games rather than, say, food or rent like non-retards would.

"I'm not asking for money... but look! I've made a Chipin page anyway, because actually money is all I give a shit about."
Although she's 'fallen on hard times', this is the shit she's wasting your hard-earned money on...

Of course, those who rightfully suspect that this is all another attention-grabbing scam are silenced by being reported as spammers. Faith, you fucking wuss.


Closet Lesbian

If any of you were to talk to her for the first time, you'd think she was your average, straight whale. Oh no, what she fails to tell you is that she has sexual fantasies about some female characters. If you don't beleive this, feel free to go to her FagAffinity page Here, her Deviantart and look upon her favourites and see the lesbian pictures she likes non-sexually, that is, if you can brave the rest of her gallery without gouging your eyes out first. Some characters she likes are :

    1. Bayonetta
    2. Renamon
    3. Rarity
    4. Betilla (some pixie thing)

....and many more

Needless to say it doesn't give her a perfectly straight image, right faith? I'd say it gives you a rather bent out image

Denial

The matter of the fact is, no one has ever called her out on this it seems, otherwise she would have proceeded to delete everything that makes her a lesbian. That and anyone who dares to point this out would most likely succumb to her Block tactic that always works. I'm also sure that the fact she has a boyfriend automatically makes her completely straight

External Links

HBalthamos is part of a series on

Furfaggotry

Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.

HBalthamos is part of a series on

DeviantART

Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage.