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Make me a sandwich: Difference between revisions

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{{quote|God created Adam and said, "I have given you everything you could ever want. Is there anything else you would like?"<br/>
[[File:Sammich.jpg|250px|border|right]]
Adam replied, "I would like a sandwich," after which God created Eve.|center=relative}}
[[File:Woman_sandwich.jpg|200px|thumb|right|Cause these samiches ain't gonna make themselves.]]
[[File:sandwichcomic.jpg|200px|thumb|right|If you get the joke you must be a programmer.]]
'''Make me a sandwich''' is a [[meme]] that gained popularity around 2005. The phrase is said to women by men who are drunk and/or hungry. [[Truth|Making sandwiches is one of the few things women are good for]].


'''Make me a sandwich''' is a nuclear weapon in the arsenal of anti-feminist rhetoric. If all of your carefully crafted arguments have failed, pushing the big red sandwich button will leave your opponent a smoldering crater of loss and fail.
== IRL ==
__TOC__
[[File:Sammich.jpg|right|thumb|200px|Pictured above: the historical usage of the phrase]]
==Usage==
Feminists lurk [[Tumblr|everywhere]] [[Facebook|on]] [[Twitter|the]] [[Livejournal|internet]], most likely because they are [[404|unable to find]] a male desperate enough to rape them IRL. They [[Troll|lay in wait]] for a male who isn't ashamed of the fact that he was born with a penis, and spew up arguments that "a vagina isn't just a cocksleeve" and "women are human" and other nonsense. The [[victim complex|unexpecting]]  male on the receiving end of these incoherent ramblings may very well be at a loss as to how to respond, as they posted an unrelated question about Mexican steroids in a bodybuilding forum. This is precisely when “make me a sandwich” comes into play. The male can simply type the magic words “make me a sandwich”, and the [[Worthless|feminist]] cunt is instantly reminded of her place as a second class citizen and kitchen appliance.


[[Bitch|She]] will feel an irresistible pull towards the nearest kitchen and assemble bread, cheese, and meat. It is [[Buttsecks|her purpose]], and denying the call for a sandwich is [[Impossibru|virtually impossible]]. Many feminists live with huge mountains of [[dildos|sandwiches]] all around their studio apartments; unable to stop attacking the [[Aryan|superior]] gender on the internet, and yet incapable of resisting the command to "make a sandwich" they get in response.  
After a long day at work, a husband asks his wife to make him a sandwich, which always results with a reply of [[NO U]]! This behavior is corrected by slapping. [[Niggers]] are known to say "[[Ebonics|sammich]]." For some reason, [[feminists]] find this phrase offensive and have convinced women to [[Balls|grow a pair]], even though they should only have [[pussies]]. Women with testicles nag about everything and they are the reason [[This is why we can't have nice things|why we can't have nice things]] like sandwiches.


==Reasoning==
== Origin ==
[[File:Woman_sandwich.jpg|thumb]]
A sandwich is the perfect food for a [[NORP|mobile individual]], self contained and leaving no messy dishes. No woman has ever needed a sandwich, because no woman has ever had an urgent demand not related to [[Blowjobs|stimulating a cock]]. Should a woman fail to make a sandwich for a man, he may miss important business, depriving his family of [[money]] necessary for [[Bacon|sandwich components]]. If a man fails to make a woman a sandwich, he goes without fellatio for [[Forever|another ten minutes]] while the bitch fixes herself something to eat. Women's smaller hands allow them to more precicely manipulate the ingredients of the sandwich, and their [[Dog|keen sense of smell]] will allow them to distinguish rancid ingredients, thus avoiding a [[Domestic violence|black eye]].


It's not entirely clear who makes the sandwich in a gay male relationship. The lack of a sandwich maker in the relationship may very well account for the [[Anorexia|excessive skinniness]] observable in homosexuals not already infected with [[GRIDS]]. On the other hand, fat old lesbians are certainly adversely affected by the presence of two sandwich artists in their relationship. Eating sandwiches all day effectively prevents any carpet munching in the relationship, which also helps to explain [[Lesbian bed death|other phenomena]].  
The phrase is well known from a [[gay]] cartoon called "Hey Arnold." It is used by [[Basement dweller|Oskar Kokashka]] to try and get his wife [[Bitch|Susie]] to make him a sandwich. When she refuses, he moans that he is her husband and "[[blow job|you're supposed to take care of me!]]". Susie calls him out on his bullshit, claiming he only cares about himself. Oskar replies with "[[Facepalm|What's wrong with that]]?". Oskar is said to be a Czechoslavakian, but he acts way more like a nigger; being lazy, [[Chris Chan|being unemployed]], stealing things, being illiterate, being lazy, bitching about shit, being lazy, failing at child care, [[Shit nobody cares about|and the list goes on]].


==Common Mistakes in Sandwich Making==
== Sammich ==
Sadly, [[Truth|women can't be relied upon]] to make a quality sandwich, and must be constantly watched to make sure no faggy additions of tofu. [[Racist|White bread is out]]; in fact, [[Protip|if a loaf of bread comes pre-sliced, it's trash]]. Mushroom is not a meat, eggplant is not a meat. If served a sandwich with either or both of these in place of meat, you can make a case of [[Anything|justifiable domestic abuse]], up to and including manslaughter.  Just don't out and murder the bitch [[IM PRESSIN CHARGES|without consulting with a lawyer first]]. [[American]] is barely a cheese to begin with, but the single serving slices that need to be peeled off plastic aren't even food, much less a component of an edible sandwich. Ketchup is a food for [[children]], [[Fact|no woman will ever respect you]] if you ask for it on your sandwich. [[Pothead|Brussel sprouts]] are right out, for reasons sufficiently obvious to need no explanation. [[NO U|Reject]] any sandwich with any of these common mistakes.
The nigger term for 'sandwich'. Black men prefer their wives make them chicken sammiches, but [[A cat is fine too|a bucket of chicken is fine, too]].


== Videos ==
== Videos ==
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}}|border=lightgray|background=lightgray}}</center>
}}|border=lightgray|background=lightgray}}</center>


==Fledgling Gallery ==
== Gallery ==
 
<center><gallery>
<center><gallery>
File:Oskarsandwichtroll.jpg|Oh, Oskar!
File:Make me a sandwich Demotivational.jpg|Feminist demotivational poster.
File:Make me a sandwich Demotivational.jpg|Feminist demotivational poster.
File:Make me a sandwich Keep Calm.png
File:Make me a sandwich Keep Calm.png
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== See also ==
== See also ==
*[[Bitch]]
*[[Bitch]]
*[[Dancing sandwich]]
*[[Dancing sandwich]]
*[[Ebonics]]
*[[Ebonics]]
*[[Nigger]]
*[[Krystal can't enjoy her sandwich]]
*[[Krystal can't enjoy her sandwich]]
*[[Sammich]]
*[[Sammich]]

Revision as of 01:25, 27 June 2013

Cause these samiches ain't gonna make themselves.
If you get the joke you must be a programmer.

Make me a sandwich is a meme that gained popularity around 2005. The phrase is said to women by men who are drunk and/or hungry. Making sandwiches is one of the few things women are good for.

IRL

After a long day at work, a husband asks his wife to make him a sandwich, which always results with a reply of NO U! This behavior is corrected by slapping. Niggers are known to say "sammich." For some reason, feminists find this phrase offensive and have convinced women to grow a pair, even though they should only have pussies. Women with testicles nag about everything and they are the reason why we can't have nice things like sandwiches.

Origin

The phrase is well known from a gay cartoon called "Hey Arnold." It is used by Oskar Kokashka to try and get his wife Susie to make him a sandwich. When she refuses, he moans that he is her husband and "you're supposed to take care of me!". Susie calls him out on his bullshit, claiming he only cares about himself. Oskar replies with "What's wrong with that?". Oskar is said to be a Czechoslavakian, but he acts way more like a nigger; being lazy, being unemployed, stealing things, being illiterate, being lazy, bitching about shit, being lazy, failing at child care, and the list goes on.

Sammich

The nigger term for 'sandwich'. Black men prefer their wives make them chicken sammiches, but a bucket of chicken is fine, too.

Videos

Go Make Me a Sandwich - Red Foreman

Make Me A Sandwich (Original Rap)

Previous Video | Next Video

Gallery

See also

Make me a sandwich is part of a series on

Memes

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Food and Drink

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