Chip Berlet

Chip Berlet is a fat communist attention whore who spends most of his life on the inferior wiki under the wing of his patron, ex-KGB agent SlimVirgin; where he currently edits under the sock account Chip.berlet. He is the byproduct of a freak accident circa 1949 at the Brooklyn Zoo in which a Marxist immigrant worker in charge of sweeping the shit out of the cages huffed a bad batch of magic mushrooms and accidentally impregnated a walrus. Nine months later little Chip was born, weighing in at a ripe 133 pounds. Berlet is an enemy of Daniel Brandt.

"Walrus-breeding experiment gone terribly wrong"

By age 16, Berlet had already ballooned to 379 lbs - a condition he blames to this day on Jerry Falwell, whose appearance on television induces him to eat compulsively. With a case of Ho-Hos in hand, Berlet departed his home at Polar-ama Adventureland to pursue a sociology degree at the University of Denver. Six months later he became a junkie, dropped out, and took a job as assistant consul general for Albanian dictator Enver Hoxha. To support his drug habit, he became a writer for High Times magazine where, like most addicts, he attempted to convert others, especially young and impressionable teenagers into using drugs and destroying their own lives.

Berlet has spent most of his career attempting to refute the psychotic ramblings of Lyndon Larouche, which has led observers to speculate that Berlet in fact is a low-level polemicist in the service of the British Empire.

Chip Chip Cheerio!

Chippy showed up on TOW in 2004, and started editing....his own biography. COI violation, no problem, soon he was making "fiends" right and left. Even got his "research partner" Dennis King to help him make Wikipedia "pure". One of their first acts was to get rid of Lyndon LaRouche stooge Herschelkrustofsky. Feeling hard and cunty after this massive BJ, they went after right-wing editor Nobs01 and rammed his anus like a goat, with the able help of their new Wiki-Buddy, SlimVirgin, and her rubber strap-on Will Beback.

Everything Chip and Gang did during the 2005-07 period was epically turd-smelly. Anyone Chip hated--conservatives, 9/11 conspiratists, Israel critics, and Daniel Brandt--attracted his shrieking stabbery. Brandt and Chip had cooperated on research inthe past but became enemies long before Wikipedia existed, so it was inevitable that Berlet would try to use it to defame Brandt. Chip was like a planet-wide cunt vacuum, sucking up everyone who he personally disliked and crapping them out into ban-space with The Skinny One or Jayjg usually doing the "honors".

The thing to remember about Berlet is that he likes to consider himself an "expert" on everything, and being an "expert" gives him free license to quote himself as an "expert" on Wikipedia. Berlet came to Wikipedia at the invitation of SlimVirgin in 2004, and ever since he's been held up as the in-house "expert" of deference whenever Slimey and her cabal of Jayjg, Will Beback, and El C need somebody to justify their edits.

To think of it another way, Chip is an insta-quote factory. If you are SlimVirgin and you need an "expert" quote to brand Noam Chomsky as a racist/bigot/anti-semite/homophobe/carnivore/asshole, all you gotta do is ring up Chip Berlet and he will not only write "Noam Chomsky hates Jews" - he'll also publish it all over PoliticalResearchAssociates.com, a web page he owns. Voila! Instant "expert" quote.

Except that Chip isn't really an expert on anything... except for daily calorie intake. That's Wikipedia's dirty little secret - their in house expert is really just another stupid angry fat guy with a keyboard. Forget PhDs or even college degrees, Berlet doesn't even have so much as a lawnmower mechanic's certification from ITT Tech. Despite his love of gorging on deep fried chicken wings at the University of Denver dormitory in the early 1970s, Berlet's drug habits and sedentary lifestyle effectively prevented him from from attending class. In other words, he couldn't fit through the front doorway anymore. So one day he waddled himself onto the campus freight elevator and flopped into a flatbed truck usually reserved for transporting orcas at the Denver Aquarium, and hitched a ride to the People's Republic of Massachusetts.

“	"What is the point of reaching consensus with a group of single issue fanatic supporters of a raging antisemite, fascist and lunatic? Arbcom has made a decision and refuses to enforce it. This about the credibilty of an encyclopedia in the face of a concerted effort by crackpots and syncophants. Please appeal to Arbcom if you disagee. Been there--done that. It is not my problem if Arbcom, Wikipedia's board, and Wales are spineless cowards.--Cberlet (talk) 02:47, 23 July 2008 (UTC)"	„
—--(sic)

He gave up on WP and fucked off in one screaming lump of rage in 2008. And in May 2012, he quietly returned, under a different name (Chip.berlet), and went right back to the same old shit. Of course he demanded that Wikipedians fix his biography, and of course they did it to shut him up. Read the whole talkpage to get a good "balanced" idea of what Chippy thinks of his magical ass.

See also

• Daniel Brandt
• Conspiracy theory
• SlimVirgin
• Wikipedia

External links

• Berlet at Conservapedia
• An article about their falling out at Conservapedia

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