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Lurker: Difference between revisions
imported>Nujen →Types of Lurkers: Added quote "In principle, there is no such thing as too much lurking." |
imported>Nujen Removed pipelines. |
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[[Image:Alurker.PNG|thumb|A self-confessed lurker on the Gamingforce Forums]] | [[Image:Alurker.PNG|thumb|A self-confessed lurker on the Gamingforce Forums]] | ||
[[Image:Starcraft Lurkers.gif|thumb|Lurkers enjoy | [[Image:Starcraft Lurkers.gif|thumb|Lurkers enjoy hiding underground while attacking.]] | ||
A '''lurker''' is a person who, well, um... lurks. Don't know what a lurker is? OK, [[retard]]. A Lurker has an account, is actively reading, downloading, and doing shit, but NEVER FUCKING POSTS. Lurkers are also creatures in [[Starcraft]] which enjoy digging holes in the ground and raping Marines by shooting spines out of their ass. The more you lurk, the more you realize how complete shit everything is. Chances are, you will not be affected by the [[unwarranted self importance]] virus when you submit your [[user-generated content]]. The [[IRL]] version of a lurker is a loner. If you become one, you will realize what is wrong with your nation. It will occur to you that your countrymen engaged in fervent [[serious business]] nationalistic debates on Youtube should in fact improve their finding decent fapping material expertise instead. | A '''lurker''' is a person who, well, um... lurks. Don't know what a lurker is? OK, [[retard]]. A Lurker has an account, is actively reading, downloading, and doing shit, but NEVER FUCKING POSTS. Lurkers are also creatures in [[Starcraft]] which enjoy digging holes in the ground and raping Marines by shooting spines out of their ass. The more you lurk, the more you realize how complete shit everything is. Chances are, you will not be affected by the [[unwarranted self importance]] virus when you submit your [[user-generated content]]. The [[IRL]] version of a lurker is a loner. If you become one, you will realize what is wrong with your nation. It will occur to you that your countrymen engaged in fervent [[serious business]] nationalistic debates on Youtube should in fact improve their finding decent fapping material expertise instead. | ||
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This kind of lurker has [[no life]]. They sit there refreshing the forums just to see if anyone new has posted. If someone so much as farts they will know about it. | This kind of lurker has [[no life]]. They sit there refreshing the forums just to see if anyone new has posted. If someone so much as farts they will know about it. | ||
This kind of lurker makes an amazing [[troll]] if they have a good memory as every | This kind of lurker makes an amazing [[troll]] if they have a good memory as every moment of stupidity will be remembered, [[screencap]]ped, and ready for use when the time arises. If they have a shit memory or are too much of a pussy to troll, then they're just a waste of flesh who spends too much time on the internet. | ||
[[Image:JewLurkers.jpg|thumb|Jew]] | [[Image:JewLurkers.jpg|thumb|Jew]] | ||
===Torrent Tard=== | ===Torrent Tard=== | ||
This lurker is there just to get free shit off others' resources and never contributes anything. This happens most often in [[torrent]] communities where the guy going " | This lurker is there just to get free shit off others' resources and never contributes anything. This happens most often in [[torrent]] communities where the guy going "OMG! plz seed. kthnxbai" is usually same the guy who never fucking seeds anything. This also happens a lot in [[Hentai]] sharing communities where people just fap but never upload and on 4chan with the bastards who are "downloading everything but contributing nothing" or who come to /r/ just to request that someone give them [[sauce]] yet never help others find shit. | ||
These guys are fail [[Jews]] too stingy to part with a single red cent of their precious | These guys are fail [[Jews]] too stingy to part with a single red cent of their precious bandwith or time by contributing. Don't be one of these [[faggot]]s; it's less cool than being a [[furry]] as at least furries share their shit where these lazy fags can't be arsed to do that much. | ||
===Got a Life=== | ===Got a Life=== | ||
[[File:OrigCash.jpg|thumb|right|[[so cash|This guy has a life]]!]] | [[File:OrigCash.jpg|thumb|right|[[so cash|This guy has a life]]!]] | ||
These formerly contributing members of a community have stopped contributing because they have gotten their asses off their badly worn computer chairs and have | These formerly contributing members of a community have stopped contributing because they have gotten their asses off their badly worn computer chairs and have gotten a life. This sort of lurker lurks just because between not failing at life, having a hot [[girlfriend]], and making tons of [[money|cash]] at their sweet job they don't have time to post on your [[shitty]] little [[Livejournal]] anymore. However, they still like to check in just for the [[lulz]]. | ||
This kind of lurker has [[ | This kind of lurker has won [[the game]]. Try to be like him. | ||
===Starcraft=== | ===Starcraft=== | ||
A lurker is also a [[Zerg Rush|Zerg unit from Starcraft]]. [[Internets]] users seem to think it is funny to mention this when the subject of lurkers comes up. However, this generates no [[lulz]] and only serves to confirm that they do not know any— | A lurker is also a [[Zerg Rush|Zerg unit from Starcraft]]. [[Internets]] users seem to think it is funny to mention this when the subject of lurkers comes up. However, this generates no [[lulz]] and only serves to confirm that they do not know any— ZERG RUSH KEKEKEKE! | ||
===Newbs & Newfags=== | ===Newbs & Newfags=== | ||
[[File:Nubs.jpg|thumb|right|Handy diagram of this section]] | [[File:Nubs.jpg|thumb|right|Handy diagram of this section]] | ||
OK, so these kinds of lurkers don't exist, as most [[n00b| | OK, so these kinds of lurkers don't exist, as most [[n00b|n00bs]] don't know to shut the fuck up and lurk instead of posting. Seriously, if a single one of these rabid retards spent more than a week actually reading shit before opening their braindead traps to spew nonsense, then the rest of the world wouldn't resent them so much. | ||
If you are a [[newfag]] or newb reading this, for the love of god | If you are a [[newfag]] or newb reading this, for the love of god STOP POSTING AND START READING! There is no such thing as lurking too much. In fact, here is some good reading material for you to look up... | ||
* | * The Article of the Now | ||
* | * Any of the "Good New Articles" under the many portals (look at the bottom of the linked page. Those links are PORTALS!) | ||
* Any featured article on the portals | * Any featured article on the portals | ||
* Any of the links in the box below for examples of '''what not to do'''... | * Any of the links in the box below for examples of '''what not to do'''... | ||
Revision as of 16:44, 9 January 2014
A lurker is a person who, well, um... lurks. Don't know what a lurker is? OK, retard. A Lurker has an account, is actively reading, downloading, and doing shit, but NEVER FUCKING POSTS. Lurkers are also creatures in Starcraft which enjoy digging holes in the ground and raping Marines by shooting spines out of their ass. The more you lurk, the more you realize how complete shit everything is. Chances are, you will not be affected by the unwarranted self importance virus when you submit your user-generated content. The IRL version of a lurker is a loner. If you become one, you will realize what is wrong with your nation. It will occur to you that your countrymen engaged in fervent serious business nationalistic debates on Youtube should in fact improve their finding decent fapping material expertise instead.
Types of Lurkers
— Honorary Ed Lolington, judge in matters concerning Internet law | ||
Rabid Reader
This kind of lurker has no life. They sit there refreshing the forums just to see if anyone new has posted. If someone so much as farts they will know about it.
This kind of lurker makes an amazing troll if they have a good memory as every moment of stupidity will be remembered, screencapped, and ready for use when the time arises. If they have a shit memory or are too much of a pussy to troll, then they're just a waste of flesh who spends too much time on the internet.
Torrent Tard
This lurker is there just to get free shit off others' resources and never contributes anything. This happens most often in torrent communities where the guy going "OMG! plz seed. kthnxbai" is usually same the guy who never fucking seeds anything. This also happens a lot in Hentai sharing communities where people just fap but never upload and on 4chan with the bastards who are "downloading everything but contributing nothing" or who come to /r/ just to request that someone give them sauce yet never help others find shit.
These guys are fail Jews too stingy to part with a single red cent of their precious bandwith or time by contributing. Don't be one of these faggots; it's less cool than being a furry as at least furries share their shit where these lazy fags can't be arsed to do that much.
Got a Life
These formerly contributing members of a community have stopped contributing because they have gotten their asses off their badly worn computer chairs and have gotten a life. This sort of lurker lurks just because between not failing at life, having a hot girlfriend, and making tons of cash at their sweet job they don't have time to post on your shitty little Livejournal anymore. However, they still like to check in just for the lulz.
This kind of lurker has won the game. Try to be like him.
Starcraft
A lurker is also a Zerg unit from Starcraft. Internets users seem to think it is funny to mention this when the subject of lurkers comes up. However, this generates no lulz and only serves to confirm that they do not know any— ZERG RUSH KEKEKEKE!
Newbs & Newfags
OK, so these kinds of lurkers don't exist, as most n00bs don't know to shut the fuck up and lurk instead of posting. Seriously, if a single one of these rabid retards spent more than a week actually reading shit before opening their braindead traps to spew nonsense, then the rest of the world wouldn't resent them so much.
If you are a newfag or newb reading this, for the love of god STOP POSTING AND START READING! There is no such thing as lurking too much. In fact, here is some good reading material for you to look up...
- The Article of the Now
- Any of the "Good New Articles" under the many portals (look at the bottom of the linked page. Those links are PORTALS!)
- Any featured article on the portals
- Any of the links in the box below for examples of what not to do...
See Also
| Lurker is part of a series on Language & Communication | |
|---|---|
Languages and Dialects • Grammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and Usage • Rhetorical Strategies • Poetry •
The Politics of Language and Communication • Media • Visual Rhetoric
Click topics to expand |
|