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Revision as of 08:59, 1 November 2018
Not to be confused with trolls remorse, sorry is the last refuge of an IRL troll when bribery is no longer an option.
Sorry in this context should never be confused with actual sorrow nor is it an actual heartfelt apology, but is usually a last-ditch attempt by the troll to save his or her job -especially when the troll involved blacks and Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson are calling for your head.
The Six Stages of "Sorry"
This form of 'apology' is usually accompanied by:
- An immediate hyperbolic press release spewing remorse issued through a PR person.
- An appearance on The Larry King show.
- Turning your life over to God.
- Entering rehab of some sort (from Alcoholics Anonymous to Anger Management).
- Meeting with the offended group in question.
- Suicide secondary to crippling guilt.
- ????
- PROFIT!
It is extremely rare, however, for the offender to get beyond Stage 2.
Saying Sorry on the Internet
Given that the internet has made IRL contact redundant, much to the pleasure of all basement dwelling virgins who sit on their computers 24/7, new methods of apology have evolved.
Since no serious ED user has ever been observed apologizing for anything, completing this section is currently beyond our pay grade.
Notable People Who Are "Sorry"
- Mary Bale
- Rick Sanchez
- Helen Thomas
- BP
- Tiger Woods
- Jesse James
- Michael Vick
- Don Imus
- Kramer
- Mel Gibson
- Kevin Rudd
- Isaiah Washington
- Tim Hardaway
- Rush Limbaugh
- The English
- Ted Haggard
- George Allen
- Paris Hilton
- Lindsay Lohan
- Nicole Richie
- Eliot Spitzer
- Beastie Boys
- Toyota [1]
- Mike Nifong
- Max Vision brb, jail
- Judge William Adams
Notable People Who Are Never "Sorry"
[Gas the...]
- Apology
- Ban fucking everyone
- Buy a dog
- Complete rewrite
- Delete fucking everything
- Deleting your LiveJournal
- Deleting your Youtube Videos
- Done with ED
- Flounce
- Holocaust
- Internet Kill Switch
- It was a social experiment
- KILL IT WITH FIRE
- Mass Murder
- Never drinking again
- Nibiru/Planet Nine
- Peter Jennings died, so I'm going to quit smoking
- Quitting IRC forever
- Ragequit
- Suicide (see also An Hero)
- Wikicide (Wikibreak)
- Unsubscribing
- X FUCKING Y
OTI
IRL
- Adolf Hitler
- Alberto Gonzales
- Andy Kaufman
- Ann Coulter
- Bernie Madoff
- Bill O'Reilly
- Borat
- Fred Phelps
- Geoffrey Leonard
- George Bush
- John Howard
- John Mark Karr
- Michael Phelps
- Nancy Pelosi
- Osama bin Laden
- OJ Simpson
- R. Lee Ermey
- Rod Blagojevich
- Sarah Palin
- White people
- Me
- People who did it for the lulz
See Also
| Sorry is part of a series on Language & Communication | |
|---|---|
Languages and Dialects • Grammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and Usage • Rhetorical Strategies • Poetry •
The Politics of Language and Communication • Media • Visual Rhetoric
Click topics to expand |
|
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Sorry is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |