Brookers

A tribute to DaxFlame in asspie mode

Brookers is an e-celebrity/vlogger/unfunny amateur filmmaker from YouTube who couldn't handle all the fame and went batshit insane. She claims to be the first performer to have been discovered on the YouTube website that was offered a contract from the mainstream media. It went absolutely nowhere. She began posting her short "comedic" videos on YouTube in September 2005. By June 2006, the videos earned her an 18-month development contract from Carson Daly. Later, the contract expired without renewal once NBC Universal realized she was not as funny as 1960s-influenced, tiresome, elitist, and gay shows such as Lost, My Name is Earl, and The Office.

The Beginning

The result of cross-breeding a gopher and a cunt.

Brookers began her career as a horrible YouTube film maker quite suddenly. She was just having a normal life in Holden, Massachusetts as a 99 Restaurant hostess living at her mom's house while cheating on her boyfriend with his best friend (the usual for Brooke). Then she posted some lame-ass videos, according to Brookers, to entertain her friends and family. Initially, she would get pissed off seeing these people commenting on her public "private" videos. Then she became famous by leaping on the Numa Numa bandwagon and making yet another Numa video that was badly disguised as a parody of the entire craze. This got the attention of not only a bunch of sex-starved nerds who were excited by seeing her molesting a standup cutout figure of Legolas, but also a few famous people who started sending her money to do more videos. This created problems, because she is too retarded to count all that money, and too ignorant to realize she could just get a kike or azn to do it for her.

The "Fame"

"I'm e-famous"

"Brooke has a Jew nose"

For some reason, everyone and their brother decided that Brookers was the most amazingly talented filmmaker on the Internets and everyone began sending her lots and lots of money for her expansive cocaine habit in hopes of being noticed and getting the chance to bang her. But suddenly, she thought that people just saw her as some Internet deity rather than an easy lay. Brookers posted a whiny vlog about how she is a human being with feelings and stuff, and how much she has suffered from having to count all of that money. Poor, poor thing. Also, her lonely fans sent her money with which to buy a car after she set up a car fund. After she received the money to buy a car, all she did was complain that she was forced to buy a way too expensive car for herself. Currently she is in the progress of selling that very car to keep the money for her own personal use.

Brookers' grandma legs and attempt at air sex; awkward 'doggy style'.

Even more awkward. And why the fuck does she look like the Rod Stewart of the 1970s?

A public photo he shared on his myspace lol and he sure looks Scottish to me.

Now since Brooke has been living in L.A. she has since declared herself bisexual. This would make people wonder if her current boyfriend Benjamin Lindemuth-McRobie, who works in film production with IMDb credits, has a vagina. No one can confirm or deny this at the present time but since no one really cares about her career path to fame we'll never know (nor care to). It is quite funny how Brooke's last serious boyfriend was named Ben. If she calls out the wrong name, due to her horrible memory, in bed then she won't have a problem. Although she doesnt seem too committed to him because on her public facebook and myspace she continuously advertises herself as single. She also does not live anywhere near Ben and chooses to live on the East coast and only have a relationship when it is convenient for her. She also has been working on a shitacular movie called "rounddabout" which involves Giuseppe Pugliese (Joseph Rhodes) whom she ran off and lived with after getting kicked out of her house back in the day. Long story short: she had a relationship with him and he fell in love with her and now that they are back "working" together their have been rumors of revival of feelings and acting upon them.

What is actually quite hilarious is how pretty much all of her ex boyfriends have moved on to younger and prettier girls that don't have a grand canyon in their mouths. The guys like to move on from her worn out and floppy cunt, but she just obsesses over them until she finds another guy with an STD that she can add to her collection.

Also, ever since Brooke has become "famous" she has been nervous of stalkers tracking her down in her small town of Holden, Massachusetts. At first she was afraid to leave her home at 5 Ridgewood Rd!!

UPDATE: Brooke was a dumb bitch and left her macbook in a orange cab in California. Now she lost her laptop and cannot find who has it. Expect the person that found it to post her nasty nude pictures of her performing scat acts. Whatever reward Brooke has for her lost macbook anon will double.

Anon broke into her car by smashing in her window and then stole her shitty GPS. Stupid blonde women shouldn't be driving anyways.

Brooke's home is in Holden at 5 Ridgewood Rd. Zip code 01520. But now she is living in New York City where she pays her rent by prostituting herself on the streets. [correction - Brooke's lease ran out and her roomates hated living with her so much that she couldn't stay in NYC, so she moved back to her home in Holden. And since she has no friends or anything to do there she will probably be making more shitty videos.]

The E-War

When Brookers made a vlog called "Hi my name is...?", a shitty video in which she cries about how jealous she is of her friends (because they have to flip burgers to get minimum wage money), shit went down. Totally-unknown e-celebs Knox, Jason Steele, and Matt Books started an anti-Brookers campaign upon Pootube, and every single 13-year-old Knoxfag made a lame "Brookers Sucks" video for the lulz. The Knox-Jason-Matt trio also reviewed her ass-tacular script "Roundabout," which was full of forced emotion, heroin, boring cursing, and fail. Perhaps it was more amazing than given credit for though since it's a massive revelation of her future. Brookers has often said that she sees the future events of her life coming before they occur.

Videos

Caution: Extremely unfunny video.

Caution: Extremely funny video.

Caution: Extremely unfunny video with Tom Green

Brookers having a nervous breakdown because she's not famous anymore

Brookers' Lonely Fans

What an acquaintance of hers had to say about her.

Brookers' fans all want to rape the shit out of her. Every single one of them. They are very desperate young and middle-aged men who suck up to her videos in puke-inducing comments. It is funny because half the time they can't tell the difference between her and her sister Missy (which shows how much they really care about Brooke)

Iceman's "My Trip to Meet Brookers"

If you have the stomach skip forward to 1 hour 7 minutes and especially 1 hour 16 minutes in for some lulz and heartbreaking.

Pathetic Comments From Said Fans

joshandari4ever (12 hours ago) lmao this is great and I think if im not mistaken WE HAVE THE SAME DISH WASHER! lol

tiffirubberduckie   (3 days ago)

hey that was awsome! very kool and funny! I hope you kmow how much of a hugh fan I am of yours I'vve been watching all your videos scence I've been on which has been almost as long as Youtube was made, anyway keep doing what you do best!!!

ediann   (4 months ago)

You speak from your heart and have experienced your 15 minutes of fame so to speak from exposure of a modern method, the internet driven by youtube.

You sound like you have some regrets! You're so young to be so deep.

Enjoy the gift of life and don't be so serious. Don't be so hard on yourself!

You're a great kid, Brooke!

I'll tutor you in Math if you wish!

Chibi788   (4 months ago)

r u serious? u were shy?! Brooke your awesome!! Seriously ur mi role model!!!!

chase1666   (4 months ago)

Dude, why are u trying to suck her dick? She doesnt even know who u are, quit sucking up. Those freaking teeth of hers are horrifying, she could eat corn on a cob through a pickett fence. (lol, this one is actually pretty funny)

Fun Facts About Brookers:

1. Brookers hates being called Brookers.
2. Brookers is a borderline weaboo and is learning Japanese.
3. She has dabbled in cosplay
4. Brookers is a freelancer -- meaning she has no real skills applicable to the real world that do not involve being used.
5. Brookers pissed off her mother when she dropped out of college.
6. Brookers is usually mistaken for a male.
7. Brookers is the type to look for what doesn't exist instead of appreciating what she has.
8. Brookers thinks she is bi-polar, bi-sexual, and a devoted btard.
9. Brookers tends to lie a lot.
10. Brookers dislikes people trying to get in contact with her online, and instead has an arrogant opinion that somehow it's their fault why she won't message back.
11. Brookers is fap material for Denis Leary.

Gallery

• 
  A work of "art" by one of her fans. What an amazing resemblance. The huge gap, the crazy eyes and that wart on her face. 10/10!
• 
  Another reason to not vote for the black jesus. See video here.
• 
  Interesting
• 
  HEY YOOOOU GUUUUUYS!
• 
  ...and that's not a shoop either
• 
  She's so "strapped for cash" she needs a paypal donation button on her myspace.

Resources

Her L.AXative video on Viddler (including hilarious insults directed at her) Deleted

Brookers fans DO NOT click here! She hates you stalkers.

Her Fail Blog.TV - Deleted because a former fan criticized her and her e-begging ways.

Brookers' Annoying Wikipedia Page

LOL Brooke's Mom has a FACEBOOK!

Her Twitter Account

Alternate Twitter Account #1

Alternate Twitter Account #2

	Brookers is part of a series on YouTube.
Visit the YouTube Portal

Contact Brookers (No don't, she won't read it anyway)

• [email protected]
• [email protected]
• [email protected]
• [email protected]