Joe Firmage

Jailbait Photo of UFO Abduction victim Joe Firmage after a long night of going down on some guys sewer spout.

Joe Firmage is a failed entrepreneur, feces eater, weenie licker, and Alien Abduction Victim and UFO Crackpot. He is well known for claiming to have been visited by space aliens in his bedroom who then "zapped" him with a ball of blue glowing energy, experimented on him, then sexually abused him. He is also known for blowing millions of dollars of other peoples money on UFO research and his failed companies and projects, for which he subsequently claimed he had been under mind control by space aliens, who turned him gay, and made him take advantage of other people in order to spread their gay alien manifesto called "The Truth".[1]

He founded several companies, all of which went bankrupt, and from which he was fired after claiming to be under the remote control of space aliens (USWeb, Novell, Serius). He also claimed to have been forced to have gay sex with them on their spaceship, and being forced to perform rimming on the alien commander.

Alien Abduction

In his book, "The Truth" Firmage wrote about an incident in 1997 in his bedroom while he was jacking off: "As I was about to squirt, something amazing happened". "A remarkable being, clothed in brilliant white light, appeared hovering over my bed in my room. He had dark hair and a beard, I believe. He looked rather annoyed, and asked "Why have you called me here?" Firmage then claimed that the extra-terrestrial visitor "zapped" him with his blue balls and transported him to their spaceship, where they performed experiments on him and sexually molested him.