Mike Pence

BREAKING NEWS!! CAN'T DISPENSE THE PENCE

Mike Pence

Or is it?

Michael Richard Pence^† is a polished 1950s movie-star and generic retarded satanic, conservative puppet of the ZOG. He came to prevalence after The Donald, desperate for votes from the Religious Right after Clinton pwned Sanders, took him in as his Vice President during the 2016 Elections.

Notable for his stances against faggotry (despite being one himself) and leftism, and his support for the Tea Party movement, Pence is likely to be POTUS after the establishment conspires to eliminate Trump. Should this happen, it is presumed the madman will set Dumbfuckistan back 20 years, just as was tradition with the Bush and Obongo presidencies.

Career

Pence signed the controversial Religious Freedom Restoration Act into law, producing immense amounts of butthurt, mainly from fags. He signed a law which blocked Indianan governments from requiring wages be provided at a rate higher than the standard minimum wages. He pissed off public school workers because he went on to help fund pre-schools, charter schools and parent's rights. He pissed schools off even more when he signed a bill that allowed Guns to be kept on school grounds (namely, in vehicles) in an attempt to make schools safer. He also opposes Common Core. He also pissed off more leftist fags when he successfully haulted renewable energy efforts (such as Solar), fighting for coal based energy. In an effort to make fags die from HIV, he worked to prevent medical treatment for those with AIDS, such as draining funding for needles necessary for injection of medicine. Mike is proudly against abortion; he attempted to defund planned parenthood, and worked block abortion services provided by third parties. He's also against sexual education and is against Stem-cell research. Notable for severe hatred of faggotry, Pence has been fucking with LGBT rights since the late 90s... Wait a minute, there is one major religion in the world that shares his belief of Fag Holocaust! OH THE IRONY

He was also a staunch supporter of the Patriot Act. Pence is against the scam that is Global Warming.

Vice Presidency

Shock the filthy fucking faggot once and for all!

Why would God-Emperor of Mankind Donald Trump (who supports gay marriage) forge an alliance with this mentally retarded redneck? Simple: pragmatism. When cheating bitch Hillary Clinton completely pwn3d Bernie Sanders and got the votes of minority scum such as niggers, Kebab and feminists, and while the Evangelical Right and almost every Republican completely DESPISES Trump as an immoral atheist porn addict who supports gay marriage, Trump had to make a compromise with the Religious Right if he was to get his Presidency and save us from a worse regime under Clinton or any of the other retards the Republicans supported like Ted Cruz. The Ends Justify the Means.

That's wat Pence originally was: a tool for Trump to ascend as Emperor, even if they had the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of political philosophy. That's why Trump anointed him as his VP during the 2016 elections, picking Pence as life insurance. Ideally, once he secured the vote Pence would be fired.... but in reality it won't work because the US Constitution is not the Apprentice. Pence served as Vice President knowing full well that he will backstab Trump in the end, and the GOP would work to get trump 'eliminated', thus allowing this neocon nutjob to be the real president. Traitors within the Republican Party want Trump dead. If he's impeached or murdered, Pence will be the new president and has a track record of extreme republicuntism. This should help scare away lots of crazy SJW rats from trying anything. In the event that the god emperor is slain, The United States will inevitably revert to the Dark Ages allowing the more technologically-advanced atheists over the Pacific to rule the world.

Confirmed Aliases

1. Mike "Suck Cock? Get Shocked" Pence
2. Mike "Homo medicine from Thomas Edison" Pence
3. Mike "Jerk it to a guy, Get shocked 'til you die" Pence
4. Mike "Lightning crashes if you put it in men's asses" Pence
5. Mike "Resist the chaps or get the zaps" Pence
6. Mike "Fags beware or get the chair" Pence
7. Mike "Show desire, get the wire" Pence
8. Mike "Male flattery drains the battery" Pence
9. Mike "Gay people should be killed" Pence
10. Mike "Zap the wussy until he likes pussy" Pence
11. Mike "Follow God's path or feel Tesla's wrath" Pence
12. Mike "Set phasers to straight" Pence
13. Mike "the Vampire Slayer" Pence
14. Mike "Say goodnight, sodomite" Pence
15. Mike "If they suck dicks, beat them with sticks" Pence
16. Mike "Watt Watt in the Butt" Pence
17. Mike "Taze the rainbow" Pence
18. Mike "A little more juice turns Caitlyn back to Bruce" Pence
19. Mike "An Electric Current is the best FAG deterrent" Pence
20. Mike "Turning fruits into vegetables" Pence
21. Mike "Doing things most heinous to those who like it in the anus" Pence
22. Mike "Poo-stabber Zapper" Pence
23. Mike "One Man Homocaust" Pence
24. Mike "AC/DC for the LGBT" Pence
25. Mike "Alternating Current for Alternate Lifestyles" Pence
26. Mike "LGBTQ BBQ" Pence
27. Mike "Got an urge for cock? Get a surge of shock!" Pence
28. Mike "fudge packer? you get the zapper" Pence
29. Mike "Omar Mateen? I'M the real KING" Pence
30. Mike "Frotteurism? Cauterize him" Pence
31. Mike "You like Rimjobs? I like cattle prods" Pence
32. Mike "You're a sissy? Enjoy electricity" Pence
33. Mike "Homoshima and Fagasaki" Pence
34. Mike "Ignite the Sodomites" Pence
35. Mike "Zap the Trap on the Back of his Lap" Pence
36. Mike "Current Affairs" Pence
37. Mike "Putting the Amp in Straight Camp" Pence
38. Mike "Pull the trigger on every fag nigger" Pence
39. Mike "Ohm-os for the Homos" Pence
40. Mike "shoot the queer like deer" Pence
41. Mike "I don't like gay people" Pence
42. Mike "I REALLY don't like gay people" Pence
43. Mike "I'm in the closet tbh" Pence
44. Mike "hertz for homos" Pence
45. Mike "Electrocute the fruit" Pence
46. Mike "Flay the Gay Away" Pence
47. Mike "3 phase for gays" Pence
48. Mike "Emma Wattson" Pence
49. Mike "Pants or dress? Hate fags, the answer's yes" Pence
50. Mike "Dropping Fags and Loading Mags" Pence
51. Mike "Feel the itch? I flip the switch" Pence
52. Mike "Electroshock your love of cock" Pence
53. Mike "Cocksuckers are in for a shocker" Pence
54. Mike "Want to get pounded? Please stay grounded" Pence
55. Mike "The closet electrician" Pence
56. Mike "Disco Inferno" Pence
57. Mike "If you Catch or Pitch, I flip the switch" Pence
58. Mike "Jolting fear into the queer" Pence
59. Mike "Spray the Gay Away" Pence
60. Mike "Make the Queer- Disappear!" Pence
61. Mike "Pole Smoker CHOKER" Pence
62. Mike "Cockblocker" Pence
63. Mike "The best homo deterrent is a direct current" Pence
64. Mike "Adam and Steve meet Volta and Ampere" Pence
65. Mike "Stick your wiener there and it's the chair" Pence
66. Mike "Having a gay fap? You're getting a zap" Pence
67. Mike "Enjoy the static or get back in the attic" Pence
68. Mike "If you like dick, it's gonna get elec" Pence
69. Mike "Gas kills the Jew and the Faggot too" Pence
70. Mike "Jerk It To A Guy, Circuit 'Til You Fry" Pence
71. Mike "If you're into gents you must repent" Pence
72. Mike "If you like men, the dial goes to ten" Pence
73. Mike "play with the willy, you get the killy" Pence
74. Mike "Electrocution is the Final Solution" Pence
75. Mike "Hate the pussy? Get the Juicy" Pence
76. Mike "Suck a cock? You get a shock" Pence
77. Mike "Reach around, short-to-ground" Pence
78. Mike "Ambassador of the Capacitor" Pence
79. Mike "Make America Straight Again" Pence
80. Mike "Like a guy? Abreit macht frei" Pence
81. Mike "You're a fag? Get in this bag" Pence
82. Mike "If you're bi, you're gonna fry" Pence
83. Mike "Zap the fags, race war now" Pence
84. Mike "Raining men with chlorine" Pence
85. Mike "Jolting fear into the queer" Pence
86. Mike "Putting Faradays in gays" Pence
87. Mike "LGBT OMG WTF BBQ" Pence
88. Mike "Bum-Driller Killer" Pence
89. Mike "Ol' Three-phase" Pence
90. Mike "Race Bannon" Pence
91. Mike "Let the Shock Therapy Commence" Pence
92. Mike "It's NOT okay to be gay" Pence
93. Mike "I'll stab you in your fucking throat faggot" Pence
94. Mike "Empty my "9" in the homo's 'mind'" Pence
95. Mike "One in Five won't Survive" Pence
96. Mike "Fucked a guy? Time to die" Pence
97. Mike "Leave no fag or kike alive" Pence
98. Mike "Dead gay a day keeps the faggotry at bay" Pence
99. Mike "It's only a phase, now here's a taze" Pence
100. Mike "If men make you jerk it, you complete the circuit" Pence
101. Mike "Ass full of juice, face full of Zeus" Pence
102. Mike "If you can't pray the gay away, you need 1.5 volts from a double A" Pence
103. Mike "Ass deflowered? The chair gets powered" Pence
104. Mike "If you don't like twat, prepare for a gigawatt" Pence
105. Mike "If you like gays I'll shock you for days" Pence
106. Mike "No tomorrah for Gomorrah" Pence
107. Mike "Use sodomites for Christmas lights" Pence
108. Mike "Give a man head, I'll fill you with lead" Pence
109. Mike "100 Amps to the Nipple Clamps" Pence
110. Mike "ECT the POC" Pence
111. Mike "The Best Defense is a Good" Pence
112. Mike "Fence in Wyoming" Pence
113. Mike "Cattle Prod the Wannabe Broad" Pence
114. Mike "Take the lobbyist to Auschwitz" Pence
115. Mike "7.62 for LGBTQ" Pence
116. Mike "Homo-cidal" Pence
117. Mike "Glitter gets you the chair" Pence
118. Mike "Turn the Fister Into a Resistor" Pence
119. Mike "Killing the Lobby is my only Hobby" Pence
120. Mike "Put the queers on a Trail of Tears" Pence
121. Mike "Add another pyre for the faggot fire" Pence
122. Mike "Third Rail for the Failed Male" Pence
123. Mike "Fourth Reich, Third Rail" Pence
124. Mike "270+ Electoral Volts" Pence
125. Mike "One Watt for Every Impure Thought" Pence
126. Mike "These Fags I Will Not Kill, But You Gotta See My Electric Bill" Pence
127. Mike "Clean Your Closet with an Electric Deposit" Pence
128. Mike "The Orlando Shooting had me Laughing and Hooting" Pence
129. Mike "Enola the Gays" Pence
130. Mike "A Silo Just For Milo" Pence
131. Mike "Believing in Evolution Explains Your Sexual Confusion" Pence
132. Mike "4th Reich Mike" Pence
133. Mike "You like it in the pooper? I'll beat you into a stupor" Pence
134. Mike "Hang the fag with the flag" Pence
135. Mike "Fag Drag" Pence
136. Mike "Day of the rope gives me hope" Pence
137. Mike "One black bag for every fag" Pence
138. Mike "Want it in the shitter? Take him to the skinner" Pence
139. Mike "Punch the gays so hard they visit ayys" Pence
140. Mike "Fagopult" Pence
141. Mike "Bundle the faggots and put them in the fire" Pence
142. Mike "The gays will hang for days" Pence
143. Mike "Give the man a medal, he killed a homosexual" Pence
144. Mike "Shoot up a LGBT School" Pence
145. Mike "Prolapsed rectum? Vivisect 'em" Pence
146. Mike "Red flag from blood of the fag" Pence
147. Mike "Balls to the Van Der Waals" Pence
148. Mike "Jolt to the dick, These people are sick" Pence
149. Mike "MIKE AND NOT KIKE" Pence
150. Mike "Electrum Rectum" Pence
151. Mike "Make the Twink Light Up and Blink" Pence
152. Mike "Like Man Meat? Have a Seat" Pence
153. Mike "Proposition 800,000 Volts" Pence
154. Mike "Make Like a Bee and Buzz the Bears" Pence
155. Mike "Desist with the Fist or Zeus Will Insist" Pence
156. Mike "Get Caught Rimming and the Lights Start Dimming" Pence
157. Mike "Twisted Trans-istors" Pence
158. Mike "It's heinous in the anus" Pence
159. Mike "Frag Grenade for the Fag Parade" Pence
160. Mike "If they act odd in the shower, Crank up the power" Pence
161. Mike "If It's Not a Vagina, You're Going to China" Pence
162. Mike "Like getting it raw? Be used to demonstrate Ohm's law" Pence
163. Mike “Like it in the crapper? You get the zapper!” Pence
164. Mike "Deus Volt" Pence
165. Mike "Blast the Gays with Tesla Rays" Pence
166. Mike "Gamma Ray the Gay Away" Pence

Gallery

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  tfw gays are destroying your country

See Also

• Donald Trump
• Fag Disabler
• Joe Biden
• Fred Phelps
• JD Vance
• Republican

Mike Pence is part of a series on Politics.

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Mike Pence is part of a series on Gay Republicans [NO! CLOSE IT, CLOSE IT!OPEN THE CLOSET!]

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Featured article January 21 & 22, 2017
Preceded by DisruptJ20	Mike Pence	Succeeded by Richard Spencer

Featured article August 8 & 9, 2017
Preceded by Laura Loomer	Mike Pence	Succeeded by Antifa

Mike Pence is part of a series on Donald Trump. You're gonna love this article, believe me.