Collectoons

This article needs a serious clean up Somebody should do something about it.

Collectoons is an Asspie breeding ground full of niggers, mouthbreathers, basement dwellers, neckbeards, azns, 12-year-olds, man-childs, and pedophiles. They may be diverse, but their entire diversity is of the reasons the interwebz sucks mutated horse cock. They are an "online trading card game," where they can "collect" digital pictures from their favorite cartoons, such as Naruto, My Little Pony, and Sesame Street. Srsly.

This homepage definitely wants me to play this game, amirite guiz?

A long-time Collectoons fan, constantly wondering how to fuck the Amy Rose picture.

The Actual Game

In-Game, Collectoons is pretty much like that shitty Cartoon Orbit site. Although it has shows from different networks, the game is about as fun as being diagnosed with cancer and any meme 4chan has ever created. You sit on your ass (no problem for basement dwellers) to get some shitty cartoon picture copypasta'd from somewhere else. Seriously? What the hell's the point of this shit if Google Images exists?

Maibee ppl willl liek me if I get all duh mai littul pwnee toons!

They have different types of value. They're pretty much all the fuckin' same, except Holy Rares. Holy Rares are the desciples, sent from Heaven once every Saturday afternoon so every dumbfuck playing this game strives for. If you actually manage to get one, you win two free internetz. Everybody who gets one of these will instantly flag anyone who doesn't stroke their e-penis. To get points to "buy" some of these Google-stolen pictures, simply just go to "Fun-O-Rama" and play their shittily coded, bug infested Flash Games you've probably played before. Oh boy, isn't Collectoons just so much fun bullishit?

Forums

But the forums are where the real lulz generate. The people that don't quit CT 20 minutes after joining (About 1 in 3. srsly. 2-thirds of accounts are no longer active. Fail.) go on the forums, where people bitch that they have 299 Fluttershys instead of 300, people hounding you to buy shit, and "Forum Fun And Games," where you find shitty Member Above me threads. Oh what fun.

Notable threads: New Users/Welcome: where newfags come to say hi. Surprisingly, some lulz has generated from here.

Gab Central: Where people will find threads of people being wished a happy birthday, a shitty disscussion about shittier sports, and the like.

general reaction to a post on Gab Central.

The Wish List: "Hay guiz I don't have teh neww Shikamarru toon will buy for 200"-naruto12 being dyslexic.

Ridin' the Waves: Where you can post about pop-culture. Can become /b/ level lulzy with enough ponies.

The Playground: "Spam is allowed but don't go overboard, kids." You had me at spam, ya retard!

InfoNet: "Guyz, i need to no teh pricof the neww rartiy toon thankz."-naruto12, being dyslexic again. Soon afterwards, he an hero'd his account. Good fucking riddance.

There are plenty of other threads, but they don't matter. The threads above are in "The Village" which I hope will get hit by a tsunami. Too soon, azns?

How to troll

The only reason to make an account is to troll the fuckers!

(PROTIP: you need an account to enter the links)

• Take one of the toons you start out with and put it on the Trade Board for 100k (better if joo ask for IRL moneyz)

• Call someone ghey for having an MLP toon.

• On "lowest offer 10k", offer 100.

• Right before the other player is about to win on cToon Smackdown orCard Clash, X out so they don't get credit for winning (get ready for hate-filled PMs for dis one.)

But trolling the forums is moar lulz-worthy!

• Say CT sucks and Cartoon Orbit was teh shit.

• Ask what gender Tails (Bean The Dynamite) is, for he will respond with great lulz

• Say you miss naruto12 (lots of butthurt will ensue from sane people)

• Remind them CrazyDay2606 was banned for saying "WTF." srsly.

• JyNX is a fan of Sonichu, but only troll him once he cancels his ragequit on CT.

• Remind them KittyPuffPony flashed her tits in the chat room. Her nipples are almost as large as the tits themselves.

• Mention Cartoon Orbit. Or even fucking Sticker World.

• Say LG is a hentai whore (she'll get angry, but won't say no.)

• Remind people LovingGoddess was only made a mod because she's married to the site's owner. Srsly.

• Remind the server sucks and lags every five seconds.

• Use sarcasm or irony. It hurts their small, autistic brains.

• Remind Hayabusa he and his girlfriend were together for years, had a child...and then went lesbo. Ouch, I can feel that one from here!

References

• http://collectoons.com/
• http://forums.collectoons.com/
• http://db.collectoons.com/

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