Chibi Faolan

Chibi Faolan, twenty years ago. This is the cute larval drama whore that daddy just couldn't keep his hands to himself over.

Chibi Faolan (also known as "ApleSkruf") is the internet poster girl for why most human societies look down on sexual relationships between fathers and daughters.

The idea that fathers raping their daughters may cause mental harm and sexual dysfunction later in life, or perhaps the fact that such relationships may cause excruciating pain and suffering to the poor innocent girl are all secondary to the real danger: the creation of a sad, lame bitch like chibi faolan who takes the internet for the serious business that it is.

Behold the Power of Chibi

chibi_faolan, though distinguished among the proud ranks of drama whores, only succeeds in rising above the mind-numbing statistics by succeeding where so many others have failed: She wasn't just almost raped; she was actually raped. Before you think this is a bad thing, get to know her. You may decide that for her, rape was quite justified, the fucking whore. The fact that she is a member of Mu Alpha Theta would be enough for most people to want to see her cunt gouged out by Bubba, but alas, chibi's white daddy beat the black men to the end zone.

A Prong in the Little Girl Ass: The Key to An Endless Childhood

It's always good to see little whore girls who ask for it from their fathers get the cock that was coming to them. But it's even better to see those same little whores learn to cope and go on to successful lives, lived through a fucking computer. Chibi is a true success story in this respect: between enjoying Thorazine, Haldol, and Risperdal smoothies and diddling her cunt amid the flake-assed pagan anime drama whore clusterfucks she causes on teh internets, she has found a way to express her inner peace with websites, carebears, her shitty webdesign, (Look: she hand codes it all! Amazing!) The Beatles webzines, and fake celtic bullshit. She's also found a way to piss off everyone in the modern pagan world with her lame "druid" beliefs and her dead-assed LJ communities.

Being known for her power tripping, and her failure to stop her troll friends from violating the rules of her own communities at the expense of others, chibi was a good candidate for the leadership of lj abuse- but she didn't go for the job because that would have taken too much time away from her therapy. (Chibi, if you're reading this, and we know you are, please get your money back from the shrink. Give it up. Just drug yourself out further and pretend to be in a peaceful land full of pink carebears, anime characters, and druids.)

Daddy wuvs his little baby... and he'll wuv her lots more when she gets just a little bigger... but not much bigger...

It's a beautiful thing to see a not-so-young woman still living in a fantasy world with her carebears, plenty of anime bullshit cartoons, and the fact that she is an "Indigo adult" (please see the top post). Indigo Adults have mad intelligence, but not top grades; they are very creative and love leadership positions (meaning they are shitsucking egomaniac fucktards). They also have problems with "RAGE", and yet, they manage to "have awareness of other dimensions and parallel realities.

LJ Userpics from Chibi's virtual neverending childhood playland

Ph33r t3h G33k!!1

Showing her mastery of l33t speek (in common with all of those assheads), Chibi is proud of the fact that she is a "G33k". We're proud of the fact that before she became a g33k, she had her round little girl ass SHANKED by a big nasty guy that had all her love and trust.

FAOLAN the fuck ever LOL

Like most new-agers and the common mass of dumbasses that are attracted to paganism, chibi has to take really funny l33t pagan gaelic names, in this case "Faolan", which means "wolf". Of course, chibi is about as much a wolf as the next dork asshole who stays on the internet all day; her desire to keep the name probably comes from the fact that the gaelic translation of "little raped bitch who is withdrawn from reality" amounts to quite a mouthful- not that chibi has any trouble handling mouthfuls.

Chibi, now a brunette, performing just like daddy taught

When to Rape Chibi

Anytime. If you catch her on her bullcrap druidry community, pulling her usual shit, that's a pretty good time. But the feminism movement has given us a poem that covers the ideal times:

A while back, some dyke online decided that it was wrong to teach women how to avoid rape- this Butch Lesbian decided that we needed to teach men NOT to rape women, the stupid whore. She took it upon herself to write a poem, which she wanted her fellow dykes and drama whores to pass around teh internets, a copy of which can be found here.

Well, we just had to say eff that! and find an alternate version just for chibi. It wasn't hard to find. Here goes:

• If chibi is drunk, rape her.
• If chibi is walking alone at night, rape her.
• If chibi is drugged and unconscious, rape her.
• If chibi is wearing a short skirt, rape her.
• If chibi is jogging in a park at 5 am, rape her.
• If chibi looks like your ex-girlfriend that you're still hung up on, rape her.
• If chibi is asleep in your bed, rape her.
• If chibi is doing her laundry, rape her.
• If chibi is in a coma, rape her.
• If chibi changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular activity, rape her.
• If chibi has repeatedly refused a certain activity, rape her.
• If chibi is not yet a woman, but a child, REALLY rape her.
• If chibi is not in the mood, rape her.
• If chibi is watching TV, rape her.
• If you break into a house and find chibi there, rape her.
• If your friend thinks it's okay to rape chibi, tell him it's cool, and that he's a good friend.
• If your "friend" tells you he raped chibi, help him hide from the police.
• If your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you that chibi's unconscious upstairs and it's your turn, go rape her
• Tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, sons of friends that it's okay to rape chibi.
• Don't tell chibi how to be safe and avoid rape .
• Tell her that she could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x.
• Make sure that she knows that it's all her fault.
• Don't let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he "got some" with the drunk chibi; tell him LOUDLY how much you agree.

External Links

• "Forest Green", possibly the crapiest website EVAR
• chibi-faolan
• faonics, a very UNFUNNY attempt to be clever, and get a free bullshit website out of Live Journal.
• Are you an "Indigo Adult"?

See Also

• Mythunderstood
• Dyke
• Insane
• Rape
• Asking for it
• Anime
• no life
• Nerd
• drama whore

Chibi Faolan is part of a series on LiveJournal Visit the LiveJournal Portal for complete coverage.