Larry King

This article is factual. Fact Cat has verified that every bit of drama and lulz below is real.

Lawrence "Larry" King (not to be confused with Larry King) was a Californian shota who was adopted at age three, but got knocked about by his adoptive father Greg and grew him up gay to troll him. He became news when he asked fellow 15-year-old Brandon McInerly to be his Valentine. Clearly Larry had touched Brandon's heart, and it was only fitting when Brandon returned the favor, by touching it some more with lots of shiny little nine millimeter Valentines shooting him in the fucking head.

A simple story that would have wended its way to an unlulzy conclusion when the trial came to court in February 2009, with Brandon being tried as an adult. Not enough for Larry's adoptive Helicopter Parents, though; not by a long shot. Greg and Dawn have launched TWO DOZEN MOTHERFUCKING LAWSUITS against Larry's teacher, Larry's principal, the entire Hueneme school district, Larry's social worker, Brandon, Brandon's parents, the Ventura County Rainbow Alliance gay rights group, the shelter for abused children where Larry was staying... in fact, the 18-page lawsuit names as respondents EVERY PERSON THAT CAME INTO CONTACT WITH GREG, for NOT TELLING HIM THAT IT WAS OK TO BE GAY.

Home Movies

Lawrence's father teaches him that everything is okay.

External Links

• Queerty Story (featuring Ellen Does Larry)

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