Archie Comics

Archie gets more pussy than you will ever get

Archie Comics is comic company that produces comics about Archie and his friends. There read by people not cool enough for Marvel and DC and shit so they read a comics about a bunch of teenagers solving mysteries and shit. It started out as Pep Comics, but no one gave a shit about anybody except for Archie and his dumbass friends. Now they make comics about people in high school that will never age.

Archie is and is nothing more than comic for little kids, only designed as way to create a false idea about high school that it's all fun and games, and everybody will love you. Each issue features the same 1 Dimensional characters that never evolve, with barely any conflict to keep stories interesting.

They also make comics about Sabrina the Teenage Witch. They also made comics about Sonic and Mega Man until Sega and Capcom realized they're retards.

Characters

• Archie Andrews A nice guy that every girl wants to fuck.

• Veronica Lodge Some spoiled rich kid who bitches about everything.

• Jughead Jones Dumbass who spends his time eating burgers and fucking his dog all day.

• Betty Cooper The sweet girl, only exists to one up Veronica.

• Reggie Generic bully, only wants Veronica's ass.

• Dilton Doiley A so called smart person who make a decision wisely.

The rest are just clones of the existing characters.

Other Comics

Josie and the Pussycats

A band who appeared in the Archie Comics that creators decided to give there own comic. It follow Josie, Melody and Valerie| Nothing as anything to with it being a band and is instead about beating up Criminals stuff and band would do. Why the fuck are they teenagers getting into fights with peoples without even having weapons, who the fuck cares it's fiction.

Every issue is the same as the last. Nonsense bullshit, when it's actually about the band it's petty drama no gives fuck about.

Sabrina and the Teenage Witch

Where's the magic?

Sabrina the Teenage Witch is a comic book about a bratty little shit who doesn't want be a witch so she bitches about it to her parents, her parents don't give a fuck and take her Witch school and Witch crafting event. She has a talking cat who is actually a witch punished for acting apeshit.

Sabrina has boyfriend named Harvey. But because he's a mortal Sabrina is to pussy to tell she's a witch. So she lies to her boyfriend about everything.

Sonic the Hedgehog

Based on the shitty video-game series of the same name Sonic the Hedgehog is a series fucks all game continuity and makes up a bunch of OC's and makes them "freedom fighters" trying to stop an evil supervillian Eggman. This is series is basically a 1000 different Sonic fanfics made in the life-span of 25 years.

The comic started in 1992, some argue that it's based on SonicSatAM despite the fact it came out first. They argue it takes longer to make a cartoon than a comic book, despite the fact it takes very little effort to create a cheap cartoon.

All the characters from the games

If it wasn't bad enough the series rebooted to make it more in line with the game to please Sonic fans, which pissed of some fans of the comics. Now you can see a new bullshit story about Sonic and his friends

Eventually when the rights went IDW Comics the Archie series was pwnd.

Mega Man

After Sonic they thought they could make a comic out of another video game series. Unlike Sonic however it ended quickly as no one gave a fuck.

Reboot

In 2015 after years of declining sales as kids do not give a shit about comics anymore, adults being way to old to be reading Archie, also the fact most people think Archie is thing of the past when everything was shallow and inoffensive designed to please everyone. They rebooted Archie as a desperate attempt at relevance with the new and improved Archie. The comics featuring teenagers is now for adults that either grew up with Archie comics and wants to read the comics again without being a man-child (even though they still are), or people that want their fantasies about being a teenager to come to life wishing they fucked a bunch of whores in high school.

The characters now talk more maturely, which means boring dialogue about shit you don't care about. The characters are given slightly more depth, which is not saying much as they had none before. The characters go through retarded teenage issues about how they want to grow up and other stuff not reading over 9000 issues for.

Somehow this worked as Archie was able to become successful again from man-children across the world.

TV Shows

Sabrina and the Teenage Witch

The comics now with hot babes

Sabrina and the Teenage Witch is a sitcom based on the comics. The cast is now being done by whores and is just shitty sitcom. It lasted for 7 Seasons somehow.

The show is basically just the comics a witch bitches about not being normal and has to suck it up. Only this time because it's sitcom all the fantasy and mystery is replaced by unfunny jokes. The show has the same quality as your typical nick-shitcom only designed to pander to pedophiles with low skirts (this was actually admired to by ABC). There is no semblance of lulz in this show. Therefor the show is nothing more than piece of anti-lulz generating large amounts of unfunny with cheap jokes.

In 2000 the show moved from ABC to The WB, so the show could die and no one would care about it on a channel that no had ever heard of it.

Riverdale

Jughead dying from this show.

In 2017 The CW used the Archie license and slap it on a shitty wannabe teen soap designed to pander to Tumblr users. Riverdale reads like your typical Archie fan fiction, with shitty writing, and shitty plot. The characters have their already 1 dimensional personalities replaced by somehow even more 1 dimensional generic personalities that pretend to be like the originals. Like everything in Hollywood nowadays it features woke dialogue, to force down liberal views on the viewers that unable comprehend their own thoughts.

All the characters in this show only serve one purpose and is that is to be erotic versions of the Archie characters. The only reason why anything happens is to please the sick-fuck creators sexual fantasies about the Archie characters. The is nothing more than a Archie porno, and your better off looking up Archie porn the internet.

Other Shows

• Cartoons: Shit

• Chilling Adventures of the Sabrina: Bratty feminazi Sabrina want's to terrorize all men and destroy them. All the men in this show all evil as the femminazis view.

• Katy Keene: Moar of the same

Memes

Dilton Doiley

Moar info: Dilton Doiley.

4chan had a forced meme to spam Dilton Doiley threads everywhere. This meme died quickly.

See Also

• Sonic

• Mega Man

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