Rex Beowulf

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How DARE you question why I do with your money!!

Rex Beowulf (AKA Michael Wolf, Michael Du'Lyea) is an insane furry drama whore who specializes in whining about those who disagree with him in any form on the intarwebs. His favorite word is "sociopath" which is often used just before or during threats to file charges for harassment with his local police department. He has threatened legal action repeatedly. He also left the furry fandom many times; but is still smarter than you could ever comprehend, you stupid human!

“	I am probably your savior. But don’t read too much into that. I don’t want to be.	„
——Rex Beowulf, Justifiable Genocide

Rex's Sekrit Identity

Rex would like you to know that posting in his LiveJournal constitutes HARASSMENT and is an Internet Crime. He will report you to the Internet Crime Complaint Center for doing so! Even worse, you are an extra bad criminal because he is DISABLED and harassing him is an even worser crime!

Rex writes sporadically and poorly. His favorite topics are how he will destroy the human race, how the government will destroy the human race, how the economy will destroy the human race, and how everyone should listen to him because he is smarter than you. He recently discovered the epic film Zeitgeist, and jizzed uncontrollably when he realized that there are other people just like him. Everything he writes is delusional as is shown here in an exert from his work in progress, "Justifiable Genocide".

“	I am solely responsible for the worst natural catastrophe to plague mankind, even more devastating than the black plague, small pox, cholera, AIDS, or even nuclear bombs. You see, I have created a genetic mutagent, much like those used today to create cures for cancer. This, for those of you not as intelligent as to understand genetics, is a means of changing the DNA of a subject. DNA tells the body how to create and rebuild itself. In cancer research, this has been successfully used to create treatments for very deadly forms of cancer. The trick is that the mutagent must be delivered through a virus. In my case, I chose two: influenza, and the current common cold virus.	„
——Rex Beowulf, "Justifiable Genocide"

ShittyMess Fox

This train-wreck of a fursuit was sent back to him after much arguing and Lulz because the recipient couldn't believe anyone should have to pay for such a Shitty Mess. Rexwolf, blind to the travesty in fur that he had brought to life, couldn't believe that he was capable of producing anything less then a wet dream beloved by all Furfags. So he threated to sue on grounds of his customer having eyes so that anyone without eyes might think that Rex was a God of fursuiting still. After what must have seemed like years of constant harassment and lawsuit threats from Rexwolf and the shame of having the furry equivalent of Sloth from the Goonies sitting in his closet, Rukario sent the mess back to Rex's hovel. Rex to this day screams and moans that Rukario is a Sociopath and a thief.

Rex is an ALPHA WOLF! Dosen't this make you want to be his little submissive wingedbitchvixenfucktail? No? Right.

And just in case that's not enough, he offers a "Magical Transformation" for a mere $2000! Yes! At such a bargain, you can be blindfolded, wrapped in ace bandages, stuffed in a fursuit while he plays bad new-age music and tells what a good little fox slut you are!

This is Rex's FuckHole. Isn't it lovely.

SURPRISE! A COCK! Peek-a-boo!

“	For those interested, I can even provide a "magical transformation" to introduce you into the fursuit - where I 'mummify' you, magically transform you into your fursuit, and slowly reveal yourself to you while you watch in a mirror. A unique way to experience your new fursuit for the first time, if you would like. It is a heck of a mind trip, and something I value at over $2,000, just for the service and not including the suit. But, since this is the first time I will be doing it publicly for a fursuit customer, I will offer the extra service for a mere $200 (to cover my having to hire someone to help me do it.) In return, I would ask that the experience be documented, in writing, so that others who are interested can know what it was like, in a way that doesn't spoil it (a testimonial.) This is truly awesome. I did this for a friend this summer, and he was incredibly awed by the experience. You close your eyes, knowing who you are, and you open them as another being, your fursona, or the personality you have asked me to create with this commission.	„
— Rexy-poo

List of failures

Once again doing it wrong.

Rex had his back broken when he fucked a fat chick, and can no longer get his dick up (even for furggotry) without prematurely ejaculating drama before he even gets it inside his latest victim.

Dogs - first he fucks them, then he eats them! Why? Because that's what ALPHA WOLVES DO!

“	I suffered a back injury in 1987. Due to being molested at 13, 16, and raped at 17; I put off being sexually active until 1999. At the time, I discovered that I could not have normal sex; but blamed it on the fact that I was with a 300lb woman. My back also grew worse, probably because fat-ass broke my back during sex. I later tried sex with another woman but to no avail. My back just prevented me from succeeding with copulation, and I'm sorry, but blow jobs weren't enough for me; as I needed to be able to provide gratification for my partner or I just couldn't get into it. As a result, I began to explore sexual gratification with the same sex; given that I would not be required to provide the same kind of gratification a woman needs/wants. That, as you all hopefully know, led me to being victimized by a predator. Many of you may not know that Brett also victimized me sexually and physically - his sexual abuse being primarily to coerce me into satisfying him and making me feel that the very few times I could find satisfaction were my own fault, not his unwillingness to provide that satisfaction. And, his physical abuse ALWAYS targetted my back, my weakest point, because he knew I would back down rather than face further injury...and of course he was right.	„
——Rex Beowulf

He attempted to start a furry convention called FurFest Northwest, which he would be the con chair (something akin to being a god to furries). However, he failed and it's everyone else's fault for not recognizing his obvious greatness.

I'M SO SMART! My IQ is 185, really!

He also claims to have suffered Lead Poisoning due to a fire, which brought down his MASSIVE 185 IQ down to a "Normal" 135!

Hypocrisies and Lies

• Rex hates a fur named Siege. He hates him with all of his heart. He shits himself with rage anytime the name "Siege" is mentioned within a square city block of him (No really, try it! It's extremely funny to watch!). His two main justifications for this crusade is that Siege somehow abused him, owes him A MILLION dollars, likes furry porn, and most importantly, is going to kill someone he knew from years back. This was apparently supposed to happen in August 2007... but strangely, didn't. This should absolutely not be taken as evidence that Rex will make shit up about people he hates.

Everyone's out to get him...

• Like any sane person, it's okay for Rex to lament about taking time out from fucking his dogs, to drive around the country, shooting people. That's not nearly as sociopathic as wanting to kill an asshole former fuckbuddy. Of course not.

LETS YIFF. CAN WE BE MATES?

Oh, and he also hates hypocrites (which seems to be everyone who disagrees with him or doesn't immediately take his side).

If Rex Beowulf was on (even more) Drugs

What if you were Rex Beowulf on even more Drugs?

• Meth: You cook up your own kind of Rex Beowulf. Maybe you make your own fursuits - which are the ugliest fucking things in the world and shouldn't be called fursuits so much as monstrosities (and you probably rape little children and run a wanna-be convention in your trailer, when you're not homeless). Or you are a terrible fursuiter who thinks you are good, or write stories that only other tweaking little punk douchbags will read, but other meth douchbags all favorite your pictures or stories because your crap is better than their crap. Rex Beowulf is rotting away your brain and/or body, but you'll never stop because its the only thing you have in your life. You have no real friends, and you're a pathological narcissist. You lead a shallow existence, and you should all really just go away because you have made your whole life into a pathetic mockery that furries loves to make fun of.
• LSD: You're paranoid at first, but afterwards, you'll go write delusional livejournal posts full of crazy, then get ignored and let people tell you about it the next day.
• Shrooms: You are reserved at first, but after a while you'll have fun, you'll fuck dogs at any chance you get, you'll get together with others and have a blast, but sometimes you'll do crazy things, but you'll always end up in the desert having sex with scorpions in fursuit (and watching posers get mauled by black bears - as if black bears live in f*ing deserts...)
• Mescaline: You've always been a Rex Beowulf, but need the right circumstances to realize it. Now you bitch and whine about stupid shit all the time, have boring lonely meals at holidays, and have nothing to do but yell at the internets.
• Pot: You're mellow and mostly harmless, and probably sit in your basement all the time looking at Rex Beowulf porn or chatting, but at fur twenty every day you'll put on a tattered, bad-smelling fursuit and screw your dogs.
• Hash: You get together with other desperate furs and have greasy, odiferous Rex Beowulf orgies.
• Opium: You used to be the kind of Rex Beowulf who would get together with others and have transformation fantasies together. Now you're a pathetic loser who has nothing better to do then to masturbate six times a day and call the internet police whenever someone makes fun of you on a message board or blog. All you can think about is the money you don't have and don't care what damage you cause to society.
• Nicotine: You either think Rex Beowulf is cool because he hasn't been a direct douchbag to you yet, or you hate Rex Beowulf so much but just can't get away from it.
• Alcohol: You're desperately addicted to Rex Beowulf fecal porn, and you're often embarassing or rude or just plain obnoxious, and will sell your shitty-ass 'fursuits' to get to conventions populated by all those furries you love to hate.
• Morphine: You're addicted to Rex Beowulf in a bad way and will sell your grandmother to get another commission, and you'll glom on to anyone you can to get another fix of internet drama. You don't know how to tell the truth. Your Rex Beowulf name probably starts with a Michael - and ends with -Du'Lyea.
• Asbinthe: You're like alcohol furs, but you think you're better than everyone else. You may sometimes call yourself a therianthrope.
• PCP: You're a gamer who's a douchbag
• Ectasy: You're a Rex Beowulf dressed up in lame-ass raver gear who fails at being interesting or pretty.
• Cocaine: You're the kind of Rex Beowulf who thinks you're the shit and tries (but fails) to run conventions.
• Tramadol, vicodin, oxycontin, etc: Rex Beowulf is a hobby for you when you're around other furries because you're afraid to be one all the time, or you're just a pathetic narcissist. You're a pathetic individual, and probably have a cabin you rent or run-down trailer house bought with money borrowed from the government for a career you've already failed at. You either have a livejournal, or run a website making exaggerated claims about pretend wolf foundations. Either way, you think you're cool when you're really just a pile of shit.
• Caffeine: You're probably a Rex Beowulf from Washington. You think you're cool. You build nasty-ass fursuits and try to sell them because you think they're the shit, but you blame everyone else when noone wants to buy them from you instead of realizing how crappy of work you do. Your life has little other substance. You think you're special, but you're really just like every one else. You can't get enough of Rex Beowulf, but you're not a real furry.
• Speed: You're the kind of Rex Beowulf who goes and visits everyone all the time and drives really fast with handguns in your car to protect yourself from your paranoid bogymen. (okay, so that's me sometimes...) You probably own a rusted-out pickup. You'll die a lonely Rex Beowulf.
• Nitrous Oxide: You think being a Rex Beowulf is cool...on weekends or at cons when you're high as fuck.
• Poppers: You're fursona is a wolf and you are a slut. (when you can convince some desperate twink whore to fuck you)..and of course, you ALWAYS bottom and whine about your back that you broke having sex with a fat chick back when you thought you were straight.
• Salvia divinorum: You think most Rex Beowulves are pussies for not exploring actually having fur, and when you have sex, its always with an unwashed fursuit on (either actually, or in your mind). You also brag about how far you can shoot your spoo or how you're going to have a 'pack' one day. You're also a pretend lawyer, so you fire off fake DMCA claims anytime someone makes fun of you. You've probably found a way to grow fungus in your crotch. (*looks around, all innocent like*
• Calea zacatechichi: You dream you're a real wolf every night, and wake up crying at your pathetic life every morning.
• DXM: You get high by posting your rants on the internet, and never gag around your poor dog's cock.
• DMT: You don't need a fursuit to look in the mirror and see fail. You sometimes call yourself a were or a therian.
• 5-MeO-DMT: You really do think you have a life, but you often think you're going to get made fun of on the internet and look at your pistol longingly, wishing you had the guts to use it. You probably call yourself a werewolf and have fantasies about eating pansy-ass wanna-be Rex Beowolves...or probably already have pretended to.

Rex Beowulf Succeeds in Getting his Article Deleted

Also see: the talk page

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A TL;DR letter of complaint.

But Not for Long

Open letter to Mr. Wolf.

While I was not the original author of this article, I did support it, and follow it closely.

The whole purpose of this article was intended to show the world all of the slander, libel, and DIRECT THREATS OF PHYSICAL HARM, that YOU made to many people, myself included. Do, consider your words above, Mr Wolf. You despise hypocrisy so deeply, yet you use the very words above, to describe YOUR OWN BEHAVIOR towards everyone who ever disagrees with you. Your Actions have been archived, and will be shown here to the whole world in due time (perhaps without pictures or other "media" that might be covered under the DMCA.) Don't forget that you were spared the pain of being prosecuted for identity theft after posted a "bounty" on your ex-lover. An act wherein you subsequently gave out his social security number, home address, work address, and employer info to a COMPLETE STRANGER who responded via E-mail to your "bounty" You have crossed the legal line so many times, and in so many heinous ways that a few complaints about DMCA violations should be the least of your concerns.

I sincerely hope someone has all of those great screen captures, and reposts them to this

article, and links them to every word in your above writing so that we can all know how one-sidedly you view the law.

The law can only protect you if you use it as a shield. It will not protect you if you keep wielding it as a weapon.

--Smash 23:25, 8 April 2008 (CDT)

• I've already filed a counter-DMCA notice, as perhaps the pictures may have fallen under his copyright (despite the fact that Siege took them, not Rex, thus they're not his copyright to enforce), but the text was clearly protected under parody and editorial laws. Infocides 23:34, 8 April 2008 (CDT)

• Rex has no copyright to the material posted here. He filed a false DMCA Notice to get a good article taken down, because he didn't like it. Please restore the lulz! Don't let someone who has the ability to send an single email, remove a legitimate article. It should be noted that this individual has a history of sending face legal threats and has not consulted legal counsel for this DMCA claim. It's a single person mailing a legal claim preying on an American fear of litigation. Please restore the article, so that assholes like him don't win! Infocides 02:37, 9 April 2008 (CDT)

Costume Drama

on August 3rd 2010 Rex Beowolf emerged to post his newest (or possibly oldest can't really tell) fur suit to the public for auction on Live Journal among the fursuit auction community, Link Here. This caused much concern and question to be carried on over to another area for conversation (here you go) due to Rex's brilliant tactic of turning off comments. which quickly backfired as the furries posted their rants and ravings, questioning the integrity of his methods and the likely sick stuff the costume was used for. However from nowhere came a noble justice to protect him under the name of Anonymous (AKA Rex Beowolf) to defend his honor and use his special catch phrase "STFU!" on every post claiming that his ED page was "LIES" and "NOT TRUE". Which of course is false as everything on the internet is true, especially when there is proof. This immediately caused drama to spark and he was soon ironically flamed to death due to his own ignorant attempt to stop drama from starting in the first place.

Occupy Furry! Greed, and more hypocricy

On January 3,rd, 2013, Rex Beowulf announced he would be protesting the furry convention called Further Confusion because of a litany of faults. His TL;DR rant on his LiveJournal rages on for what seems like pages as he details how "rich" the furfags are who run the convention, and how they are all "1%". He complains about how he cannot afford the $600 in diesel to drive his fat ass RV several hundred miles to the convention because, after being evicted from the Johnson's farm in Orick, California, he lives out of the RV.

He still brags about having plenty of money in a trust fund, and buying a Class A motor home (that's one of those motor homes the size of a city bus, folks!) Yet, $600 in diesel and $1000 for a room at the hotel for a week is somehow too much money. Never mind that he is still on welfare, and all this money he has came supposedly from a lump sum retroactive disability settlement of one of his zillions of pending court cases. YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK!!!! Among the litigation, a probate case where he is suing his own family out of the same greed he seems to despise so much in everyone he rants about. Yet through all of this, a background check shows he still has 2 unpaid debts in collections for a few hundred bucks each. Mmmm Hypocricy so thick you can TASTE it!

Meanwhile, many other happy furries will be enjoying the convention they have worked hard to save money year round to attend. All while he circles the convention center, protesting the cost of the convention, while spending several hundreds of dollars burning dinosaur bones in an RV that likely gets 4 gallons per mile.

Related Articles

• Furry
• The Man

Saved Links

Lulzworthy Livejournal Drama

• 2006:
  • I Feel Sick
  • FFN CANCELLED
  • What to do?
  • More Positive Thinking
  • Why should I care about you?

• 2007:
  • All Fur Fun: For the Record
  • News on behalf of Rex
  • April Fools
  • Disability
  • Should I sell my Fursuits?
  • GoodBye FFN
  • On "Furry"
  • I am Alive!!1
  • What did Siege do to Me?
  • Giving Sanctuary to the Wicked
  • Fuck Furries
  • Translation
  • Hey Maui
  • Community
  • Clarification about Rex's "Issues"
  • Just FYI - (In which Rex talks about going beltway sniper on people)
  • Hypocrites (in which Rex hypocritially bitches about hypocrites)
  • Need help catching a pedophile

• 2008:
  • Why am I still obsessed with Brett?
  • Thoughts at FC
  • A personal update
  • LJ Policy Reminder
  • The source of all the world's problems (as explained by Rex)
  • FYI: All fur Fun
  • Homelessness (IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! NOT HIS! EVAR!
  • Bounty (In which Rex tries to pretend to be Mafia, and fails.)
  • Pack of Lies Grows
  • Public Service Announcement
  • LEAVING THE FURRY AGAIN

• 2009:
  • IF FURRIEZ WERE DRUGZ
  • Infocides identified, FC corrupt!
  • Rex makes the offer to illegally practice law.
  • Futher Confusion Staff Criminal Activities Update

• Fursuit Auctions LJ Community:

• Pay Rex to build you a Shitty Mess fursuit, then "Magically Transform" you into it!

• Artists Beware

• Questions are raised about FFN
• Rex flips the fuck out!
• The rest of the thread, included for completion

Furaffinity Posts:

• Mirror of "FYI: All Fur Fun" LJ post, with thread lulz.
• OMG ANOTHER SOCIOPATH!
• WAAHH! FA STAFF HATES ME!

• Misc:

• Screenshot of "Wolf Ranch" main page, where he claims 20 MILLION dollars

Rex Beowulf is part of a series on Furfaggotry Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.