Penn and Teller

BULLSHIT!

Penn and Teller are a pair of highly successful illusionists based in Las Vegas. The duo consists of Penn Jillette (the fat one) and Teller (the retarded one). Teller has no first name, like Cher but thankfully silent. Their shows consist of astonishing feats of magic, interlaced with humor and political commentary.

Bullshit!

Penn and Teller firmly support useless, shitty memes.

Penn & Teller host a show called Bullshit! on Showtime, which exposes many myths, misconceptions and flat out bullshit lies, most notably the one which posits that Penn and Teller are credible skeptics. The recipe for each episode consists of showing quote-mined video clips of a knowledgeable person rambling on about shit nobody cares about, at which point Penn proceeds to illustrate the various fallacies of said person's point of view, while Teller makes funny faces in the background. The show is considered "edgy" and "controversial" because they make fun of the Bible, feminists, and PETA (disregarding the fact that every sub-moron has been doing this for years.)

Bullshit!'s basic tactics/tenants:

• Play it safe by covering topics that skeptic organizations have already debunked, such as Loose Change. This has the benefit of letting you pose as a knowledgeable skeptic without having to do any real work yourself.
• Corporate representatives are completely unbiased sources of information.
• Anything to do with religion is a lie and thus fair game. Openly attack Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, Wicca, and Scientology (but not muslims because they'll fucking kill you).
• Science is awesome and a sure compass by which all moral philosophy should be configured, UNLESS it might put a restraint on private industry in some way (i.e. global climate change). When science is inconvenient to their childish political agenda, the "free market" overrides any other moral truths.
• Anything religious groups or government bodies do is automatically bad; anything corporations do is by default good; therefore Gun control, public schooling, or universal health care are wrong, while tobacco companies, Walmart, McDonalds, and the porn industry, for example, are all run by good people.
• Drugs are awwright; therefore, smoking isn't addictive at all, and NEVAR kills anyone, and pot should be legalized for medicinal purposes; anyone who disagrees is in favor of big government.
• Killing is also awwright, as long as corporations aren't harmed.
• Illegal aliens are cool because they are willing to work under treacherous conditions for little money (after all, employee benefits are for pussies), and building a fence at the US-Mexico border is counterproductive.
• Prostitution and pornography are legitimate forms of business, and always involve a very rigorous screening process to ensure that the applicants are well balanced and have a full understanding of what they are getting into, and aren't being coerced by outside socio-economic factors, and are never taken advantage of.
• Distract viewers from holes in your arguments by cutting people off, calling them "assholes", and flashing breasts.
• BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES.
• If that becomes too obvious, find the kookiest guests to represent the opposition and use creative editing (quote mining, using music and tone of voice to play with the viewer's emotions, intercutting opponents arguments with hyperbolic imagery to make the opponent seem even more crazy, etc.). Remember, as long as your answer is correct, it doesn't matter how you arrived at the conclusion.
• Use of over-rated, old, unfunny memes, even though they still make us laugh a little bit, if only for seeing our creations on television.

The fact that viewers of this show haven't caught on to the fact that Penn and Teller are pseudo-skeptics and the arguments they use don't hold up to scrutiny shows that their entire fanbase consists of people posing as intellectuals. By their logic, why bother learning critical thinking skills and statistical analysis to examine or find faults in claims when you can just watch a 30 minute entertainment show that pretends to do it for you? Because it drowns out real skeptics that use solid arguments, that's why.

Penn & Teller & "Skepticism"

Some people may be confused about what it means to be a skeptic, or what it means to have a healthy analytical perspective. The show ‘Bullshit!’ is nothing less than the only thing you need to watch, or read, to have a completely clear world view, unfettered by pseudo-intellectualism or unscientific foolishness (which is safe anyway since for most BS fans, the show is the only vaguely intellectual content they consume).

To clear up some of the foolish assumptions and misunderstandings as to what skepticism is:

Science is great if it's used against religion or pseudoscience but evil if it's used against big business.

Anything that makes money is 100% legitimate, irrefutably fair, and consistent with all facets of freedom and liberty. Big government is the only system of oppression in the world, and the only enemy of equality and fairness, to which free market capitalism is the only balm (here, look at some tits if you aren't convinced)! Therefore, any topic involving industry or business gets a full service rub-and-tug in favour of the money interests. This is called science, and if you disagree, you are a fascist.

A true skeptic never lets worrisome facts or disconcerting contradictory science interfere with rabid, mindless, self-serving tantrums.

Despite some misguided twits who believe that to be a "skeptic" demands objectivity and neutrality, it is actually more scientific to always bring your own uneducated, unreasonable biases into every topic, and conveniently cherry pick all the arguments, valid or otherwise, in order to persuade others. It is also completely intellectually honest to approach research on a “Hey guys, come over to my side, because the other side is lame and dumb!” basis. Pandering to an already like-minded audience by superficially mocking the straw men and broad caricatures you have constructed to represent the opposing side, is also solid science.

Contrary to what has been said by some big government nitwits and morons, what Penn and Teller do is not egomaniacal, agenda driven propaganda, but completely honest, selfless, and substantial myth debunking with solid scientific and philosophical foundations!

• 
  What happens when Penn wouldn't give him a blowjob.
• 
  They attempt to expose fucktardary of this classic trick. Notice that Teller's hand is in a suggestive pose
• 
  Holy shit.
• 
  Shut The Fuck Up

Other appearences

'Penn and Teller get Killed' - A craptastic movie made at least 100 years ago which results in them two going to hell.

'Penn and Teller: Cruel Tricks for Dear Friends' - A video which shows you how to embarrass the fuck out of your gay friends and rip their money off them.

'Penn and Teller: Magic and Mystery Tour' - Teller is shown speaking in this show. Other than that it's another bunch of faggotry.

Fandom

The typical Penn and Teller fan:

• is a middle-aged woman.
• is afraid of men but likes Teller because he's "different".
• is thinking of moving to Las Vegas but it's just a total coincidence that Penn and Teller are there and it's not a ploy to get closer to their heroes and steal their souls.
• is a Libertarian and an atheist and won't shut up about it, ever.
• is an amateur magician.
• likes to say "fuck" because Penn says fuck and anything that Penn says is awesome.
• hangs around the Rio Hotel in Las Vegas in hopes that one day Penn will notice them and invite them to join the P&T entourage
• can't think for themselves
• think everything you believe in should be debunked, ala mythbusters with more swearing and tits
• married Penn and Teller's piano player in a transparent attempt to schmooze with P&T and con them into jump-starting her shitty comedy career.

Penn's Myspace

Penn started a Myspace page so that he could communicate with his fans. Don't bother friending him, though; he only responds to fans who happen to be blond 16-year old girls with breasts. Penn thinks female fans all listen to his radio show and know everything about him - including that he's in an open marriage so they shouldn't keep from hitting on him on account of his wife. But female fans don't know this, because they don't listen to his radio show or really know anything about him at all. Their interest in him is really just a way to get close to Teller, who's the one they really want to bone.

Penn thinks all women are either Madonnas or whores, so he likes to have sex with his fans while he reserves his wife as a mom substitute.

He also has a YouTube Channel.

See Also

• Into the Trash It Goes

External Links

• Penn and Teller conjure up over 9000 bees
• Teller speaks in Egypt
• P&T talk about Scilons

Penn and Teller is part of The Best Series in the Universe ★ ★ ★

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