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Horizon: Zero Dawn: Difference between revisions

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[[File:Aloy with a bow.jpg|thumb|right|250px]]
[[File:Aloy with a bow.jpg|thumb|right|250px]]


[[File:Aloy with straight hair).jpeg|thumb|right|250px|A fan-art of Aloy because they didn't like her look like a dreadlocked, ginger, honkey, Jamaican whore]]
[[File:Aloy with straight hair).jpeg|thumb|right|250px|A fan-art of Aloy because they didn't like her looking like a dreadlocked, ginger, honkey, Jamaican whore]]


Thanks to self replicating [[Arnold Schwarzenegger|Terminators]] that can use organic materials like people, trees, topsoil and shit to reconstruct themselves after being destroyed or make more human hunting terminators the human race is on the verge of being destroyed.  It is the '''Dawn of Civilization''' and due to the efficiency of machines it is [[orgasm|coming fast.]]
Thanks to self replicating [[Arnold Schwarzenegger|Terminators]] that can use organic materials like people, trees, topsoil and shit to reconstruct themselves after being destroyed or make more human hunting terminators the human race is on the verge of being destroyed.  It is the '''Dawn of Civilization''' and due to the efficiency of machines it is [[orgasm|coming fast.]]
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{{Timeline|Featured Article November 6 & 7, [[2018]]|[[Timbox]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Pokemon]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured Article November 6 & 7, [[2018]]|[[Timbox]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Pokemon]]}}
{{Timeline|Featured Article November 17 & 18, [[2024]]|[[P Diddy]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Randy Robert Stair]]}}

Latest revision as of 01:28, 19 November 2024


Horizon: Zero Dawn, or more popularly known as Soulless Ginger versus Dinobots is an exclusive title for the GayStation 4.

Horizon: Zero Dawn is another, man was Stupid and fucked up the world for some reason or another, Apocolyptic, man should be erased from the Earth, Style game where only one Uber Menshe is capable of saving the world and arrives in the future through the favored plot devices of being frozen, cloned or time traveled and some examples include games and media like Chrystalis for the NES, Fallout 4, Futurama or Doctor Who.

It follows the same plot devices as the before mentioned in that there's a introductory period, where you are introduced to the character that was born with the right Gene set through either selective breeding or just being born perfect and is the only one capable of saving the world.

Much like games in this genre, the opening few hours of gameplay are spent being taught that the world is a dangerous place but if the player follow the rules they'll be alright. Predictably, after a few missions the player is introduced to the story that progresses as the game moves on.

Where this game differs from most RPGs of this style is that it has a story mode where the inept player can advance the story without having to fight because they don't haven't acquired enough skills to spam buttons in the right order.


Plot

A fan-art of Aloy because they didn't like her looking like a dreadlocked, ginger, honkey, Jamaican whore

Thanks to self replicating Terminators that can use organic materials like people, trees, topsoil and shit to reconstruct themselves after being destroyed or make more human hunting terminators the human race is on the verge of being destroyed. It is the Dawn of Civilization and due to the efficiency of machines it is coming fast.

To save humanity, the very cliche idea that a Noah's Ark of sorts will be built where the nerds have broken humanity down into Alphas and Betas and decided which people and genes will survive. It is decided that, by the Nerds that humanity will let the machines destroy the world, along with the Beta, Gama and basement dwelling humans to then die off break down or power down and die when there is no more organic material left on the Earth (Zero Dawn).

After 200 years, when the Earth was ready for humanity to start making styrofoam, plastic and Hummers again, The GAIA system was built to start repopulating the Earth with birds, animals, plants and humans to drive them to their final extinction.

As a counter measure, if in case GAIA didn't get it right, an antithesis to GAIA named HADES, (when better names for a destroyer like Shiva or Obama exist) was created to destroy everything if GAIA didn't get it right the first time and then GAIA would start again.

As can be expected, and is the central theme in this plot and genre, HADES goes mad with power deciding it better to destroy humanity, like a liberal tree hugger mad with power and in possession of the nuclear football, it sees it unworthy. To protect this new humanity, GAIA An heros to halt HADES' plan to ban hammer humanity from the planet permanently.

To put herself back on line, GAIA clones Dr. Elisabet Sobeck, the creator of (Zero Dawn) because with her voice and gene map her Soulless Ginger clone Aloy can gain entry and command all of the systems.

As is the case with all ✡Moses✡ style stories, with her last breath of power, GAIA clones Dr. Elisabet Sobeck and leaves her in a mountain cave and at the entrance to the main GAIA system, to be found by mountain hicks that worship sticks and rocks, so that when she is older the new, younger, Lolita version of Dr. Sobeck named Aloy can begin repairs on the GAIA system and stop HADES.

16 years later, when Alloy is a sexy, hot ginger that can bounce quarters off her tight, well aerobicized ass - the game begins.

Characters

Name Description Picture
Aloy The flat chested, bubbled butt hero of the game that only looks like she has a decent pair when she starts getting armour that has a chest plate. Despite being born with the debilitating condition of not having a penis she somehow becomes capable of saving the world. An outcast at birth, because she was a bastard God child that was born without a mother, one of her fellow tribe leaders allowed her to be raised by fellow outcast Rost who was more than likely tapping that ass the second fire was burning up her crotch. Being like most Pedophiles, he dumped her the second she turned 11 because she was starting to look too much like an adult. In RPG terms Aloy falls under the Archer/Hunter class and is best used Sniping or at long distance. When Aloy wins the Proving, a coming of age trial, as a girl she will be declared 80% almost as good as a man. The Proving is an event for all the children from the Nora tribe to compete in when they turn 16. Winning the event, Aloy is granted a wish and she chooses to become a seeker so she can find the people who attacked them at their proving and the reason for it. As Joseph Campbell would describe it, this is the setting out of the hero that puts them on their path. A clone of Dr. Elisabet Sobeck, Aloy's place in the story is to serve as a pro-feminist message that men will destroy the Earth but it will be Wimmins that rebuild it with duct tape, a butter knife for a screw driver and a coffee mug for a hanger. Surprisingly these a quest items to get an in game trophy when all of them are found. Aloy has a hidden ability of twerking her bubble butt. She also fucks strangers and loves to be raped by dino mechs.


Like all things, this article was made better with boobs
Rost A minor character in the game that is only there to give Aloy a childhood to make her more of a sympathetic character and a plot motivated reason for the in game training missions that teach the player how to use their Focus, attack and destroy Dinobots for their parts to make more effective arrows, how to hunt for meat and to collect healing herbs. Becomes An hero when the Proving is attacked by a strange, Science and technology based cult to save Aloy's life.
Sylens You might want to call him the token nigger but the game is like a liberal town hall meeting in the ghetto designed to show how down with the homies they are and provides a handful of them so the creators can claim that they are not racist. Like all black men he is responsible for everything wrong in the world because, after being tempted by HADES he is the person who helped birth a Scientology like cult dedicated to technology. reinvented the internets and set loose The devil back into an Eden-like world. Despite all his desires to help Aloy, it is only to serve himself so that he can retake HADES and have it back under his control so that he can be the big DOUBLE NIGGER in this world and maybe cause a reset where the black man is in charge because he is the one with the monopoly on knowledge. Get it? He's both the snake and the one who ate the apple?
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Bast That cocksucker that everyone seems to know, that is incapable of being brave unless he has 6 or 7 friends with him. Basically a small dog barking at the wind, he tries to sabotage Aloy at the proving by shooting her trophy and breaking it which causes her to have to get another and take a dangerous route to win the proving. To great satisfaction, Bast dies like the sniveling coward he is.
Fangirls like to say he isn't so bad.
GAIA Much like in The Matrix, she is the know it all Feminazi nigger that has all the answers because she is so in touch with mother Earth. She is named for the Greek Goddess of the Earth and in some circles, the name of the Earth that plants grow and humans live on, literally the dirt. In the game she is the program tasked with re-terraforming the Earth.
HADES The male half of Project Zero Dawn that gets blown to hell by GAIA because she knows that HADES can do it better than her but refuses to admit to it. Serves as the antithesis to GAIA',. The logic is, as a female program, GAIA will probably fuck up re-terraforming the Earth multiple times before she finally gets it right so HADES was named (When better names like Shiva, Loki, or Coyote exist) to destroy it so she could start again. HADES name comes from the god of the underworld in Greek Mythology.
Elisabet Sobeck A Siguorney Weaver looking scientist type that probably was created as a cheap joke aimed at Alien where the computer was named Mother and she creates a computer that becomes the Mother of Humanity and literally has this same name, GAIA. Elisabet is Aloy's clone mother. Creates the Zero Dawn plan where she and others will bravely let 7.5 billion people on Earth die while she and others like the military, that they themselves declared as Alphas, will live safely tucked away in bunkers with their DNA saved so if needed they can be cloned. In this future there will be Nerds.
Ted Faro Creates, what becomes known as the Faro Plague where injured robots can repair themselves and new robots can be created by using organic matter like people, fish and trees. He is the destroyer of the world. Due to political wrangling and actually blackmailing, Elisabet Sobeck convinces Ted Faro to give her a blank check for her Zero Dawn project on the promise that no one will know that it was Ted Fero that let loose this Evil onto the Earth.
Avad Avad is the 14th king of the Carja and in a Metal Gear move, he committed patricide because he was too weak to tolerate the Red Raids where people from different tribes were captured and put to death as sacrifices. His goal is to lead with a "Kinder, gentler machine gun hand" and he Allies with Aloy to help bring down HADES on condition that she rescues his younger brother who is being used as a false king because this is an RPG and no one ever does anything for altruistic reasons, even when an opposing army is at their door.


Erend The one character in Horizon: Zero Dawn that is most like You because he has trouble talking to pretty, underaged girls that he wants to Sexor and can't seem to live up to his sister's reputation because, military wise, she has a bigger dick than he does. Erend is the first person Aloy comes into contact with a focus and he invites the 16-year-old Aloy to a roofie-colada if she's ever in The Claim. Mostly serves to move the plot between Aloy and the 14th Sun King. Lots of fantards on DeviantArt love to have him penetrating every hole he can find on her for the obvious stated reasons.

Cosplay Gallery

Gallery Of Slutty Aloy Costumes About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


See Also

External Links


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