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Ning: Difference between revisions
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[[Image:Ning16.jpg|thumb|175px|Other "investors."]] | [[Image:Ning16.jpg|thumb|175px|Other "investors."]] | ||
The company behind Ning (ironically, a big fucking 擰) likes to say that it was “developed” in 2004 | The company behind Ning (ironically, a big fucking 擰) likes to say that it was “developed” in 2004 and this would be quite true if the word “developed” meant the phrase [[Theft|“ripped off from other social networking sites.”]] The official public launch of the site, backed by hidden, secret investment firms, occurred in October of 2005. | ||
===Founders=== | ===Founders=== |
Latest revision as of 21:13, 28 March 2023
- You may be referring to "'Ning!", an informal greeting on the imageboard B3ta, a contraction of the phrase, "Good evening."
—Ex-Ning addict, Peter Benson...who got ripped off. |
In case you don’t have enough stalkers, drama, and flame wars in your social networking life, in case you can't stand not being connected 24/7 to your faceless internet friends who don’t really give a shit if you have just finished mowing the lawn, and in case you haven’t heard of it, Ning would like you to join up and belong somewhere safe, happy, and peaceful on the internet so that they can fleece you of your content. Of course, any site that rips off all the other social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, Dreamwidth, MySpace, and Blogspot, shouldn't be trusted to begin with and you are probably going to attract the same crop of retarded teens, unstable housewives, and 20-something assholes looking for porn that populate those sites. Ning offers you just one more place for you to enjoy the fail that is Web 2.0, but it offers it with a twist: It is a 500 million dollar Pyramid Scheme.
History
The company behind Ning (ironically, a big fucking 擰) likes to say that it was “developed” in 2004 and this would be quite true if the word “developed” meant the phrase “ripped off from other social networking sites.” The official public launch of the site, backed by hidden, secret investment firms, occurred in October of 2005.
Founders
—Yes, but only organized crime would invest in something as stupid as a social networking site... |
- Marc Andreessen – the software engineer known best for his Netscape Browser and it’s links to AOL.
- Gina Bianchini – a bored house-wife and hottie who was letting her M.B.A. sit around, gathering dust. She figured she had better do something about it.
- Several other investors who remain nameless. But with the amount of money being laundered, one can only guess.
About
—This is of course true, if the most important person in your life is some anonymous 17 year old kid who hates your artwork. |
Ning was started with a simple premise: when people have the freedom to create a new social experience online, they are going to get ripped apart, flamed, trolled, and raeped by the internet hate machine. The site touts its flexibility, stating that it is uniquely customizable to all of your interests and friends with almost no effort or cost. This isn’t true if your interests are porn, and it isn’t true if you want to join a Ning community that only allows paid subscriptions…but hey, it sounded good on the Ning “About” page, so the company keeps it there.
Your Own Social Network For Anything
As of april 2009, there were over a million social networks on Ning. That’s a lot of neurotic housewives blogging about FEMALE EMPOWERMENT being tossed around along with cheap ass companies trying to hawk their wares without shelling out a couple hundred bucks for a dot com website.
Features
Despite the fact that Ning is filled with several thousand sites all detailing the same boring, pedestrian topics, the networking site has a multitude of widgets and scripts you can run on your page so that you really look like a complete and total toolbox, rather than a boring and pedestrian one.
Here are some of their widgets:
- A weather script so that you don’t have to look out your windows.
- An online file system where you can store porn…no, you can't store porn.
- An online jukebox where you can stream your pirated mp3 files…but everybody thinks you like crappy music anyways, so nobody will listen.
- Bookmark scripts so that all of your stalkers on all of your other social networking sites can emigrate to Ning as well.
- BuddyPoke…which despite the fact that it sounds dirty and fun, is really cute and sickening.
- MyMiniLife where you can show everybody how cool your parent’s house is.
- STATUS! A script that will allow you to tell all of your social network members that you have just finished pouring milk on your Froot Loops.
Privacy And Moderation
—It gets a lot worse, trust me pal... |
Ning prides itself on being highly secure and offers many choices on how you can moderate your fantastic webpage about the pottery/macramé class you took last summer. You can set your social group’s images of “How To Scrapbook Your Daughter’s Senior Year In High School” to display by default, or you can have your pictures of your cute Lhasa Apso, “Mung-Mung” set so that no internet bad guys can view the precious dear. Also, they offer the customary “delete fucking everything” option for when some 13 year old skriptkiddie flames you in your comments section and site-rips all of your backyard bikini pictures that nobody wants to see anyways.
Holy Shit
—Ning user NCwhoneedstruth who probably shouldn't have posted his Ning account name...they are watching. |
Ning is worth half a billion dollars. That is BILLION with a capital B. Who the hell invests in this crap? Haven’t they learned from such brilliant failures as “the dot com bubble.” Twitter, Dreamscape, and of course AOL itself? This sort of cash movement should make the average user a bit leery of the intent held by Ning itself, and it should also make the average user think twice about adding content of any sort to a conglomerate that Ning is turning out to be.
Keywords
As with almost all Web 2.0 sites and applications, the Ning website is filled with such key words as powerful, energetic, customized, freedom, flexible, important, dynamic, paradigm, and pinnacle. All of these words, while sounding vital, fresh, and new, are all really words taken directly from any “Idiot’s Guide To Marketing” type of book you can find. These keywords are used to create buzz and excitement. When you see these words on a social networking site, you know you are in for another mind-numbing, tedious, uninspired, dreary, tiring, repetitive, and lackluster experience. See what I did there?
Altercation And Controversy
—Another sucker. |
Ning, like any other place where you cram a bunch of dingbats together under one roof, has its share of controversy. You cannot have humans in one place very long and expect to keep harmony amongst them. But there is a darker, more sinister side of Ning and it has recently reared its ugly head in the form of a brutal and forced conglomeration of social networks.
Removal Of Pornography
—Marc Andreessen on porn…a few days before he decided to remove it. |
Ning assured that there would be no respite from this common occurrence by removing porn from all of their networks in 2008, citing that pictures of teenage girls playing with their mother’s vibrator was not covered by the HALF A BILLION DOLLARS the site has at its disposal. They also stated that they were receiving a fairly large number of DMCA notices because people were hosting Bang Brothers video clips on the site.
Email Outrage
—Most Ning network administrators. |
In March of 2009, Ning sent out spam to all users of the social networking sites it hosts. The spam basically told everybody to promote Ning like crazy. It didn’t matter if you had a hidden network on Ning or not, Ning demanded and got all of its members obedience because users had no other option; if you were on the site, your shit went public. This included information, pictures, and your profile. This especially angered users who had paid cash to have advertisements blocked because Ning just did it anyways, and if you didn’t like their decision, well…there’s the highway, bub.
Inflation Of Numbers
Ning has stated that it has over 1 million social networks yet there are only around 23,000 members on the network devoted to Ning creators and users. They also state that each network creator is, on average, responsible for the creation of 47 social groups each. This is highly unlikely and is akin to every member of MySpace creating 47 different accounts…just for shits and giggles. Why would a site do this? Why would somebody attempt to inflate user numbers on purpose? This is just an obvious attempt to increase the number of investors that they are reeling in by showing that the site is successful and lucrative, and it is also a great way to set up an internet pyramid scheme...
Ning The Pyramid Scheme
—Pyramid victim |
Instead of taking the time to build up a network of users and become the next Facebook, the owners and investors of Ning have decided to forgo all of that and just ride the wave of success on the backs of their own users. The plan works something like this:
- Create a social network platform.
- Build up a membership of fanatic users who love your freedom and flexibility.
- When the time is ripe, collect all of that content into a super site under one domain called Ning.com.
So far, this plan is going full steam and there are several notable events that bear this cheating, dirty and immoral course of action out:
- April 2008: Ning raises $60 million in funding. No network creators see a dime.
- August 2008: Ning shuts down app maker “Widget Laboratory.” Widget Laboratory is a company that designed applications for use on the Ning network of sites, but because they had achieved such deep penetration within Ning, they were considered competitors and were promptly removed.
—Widget Labs press release after the kickban they received. |
- Weeks after firing Widget Laboratory, they hired their main competitor Scripts4Ning…a company they could control more easily.
- August 2008: Ning bans access to all PHP files. If you are a developer who has used PHP on your site, say goodbye because you aren't going to see it ever again…even if you wrote it.
- December 2008: Ning shuts down its Network Creator Forum. Prior to this shut down, Ning had always been very quick to remove any sort of criticism directed towards them. Now instead of wasting time deleting individual posts that may be critical, they just take out the middleman and get rid of the whole forum. Any former posts that contain criticism of the site will re-direct to this page. Notice the keywords!
- December 2008: Ning removes all porn from the network…unless you happen to be an investor or have a social group that hauls in a lot of traffic…like 50 Cent’s Ning does. Normal, everyday users were given a few days to remove questionable content and thousands of groups were affected by the procedure. When users attempted to remove the porn, they found that they were locked out because of the August decision to ban access to files. Whoops…Ning grants limited access once again.
- February 2009: Ning changes their company slogan from “Create Your Own Social Network for Anything” to “Ning lets you create new social experiences for the most important people and interests in your life.” You are no longer free to do “anything” on Ning now, nor are you allowed to maintain control over creation of content. If you have made it and put it on Ning, it is theirs, not yours, and you cannot get it back. Notice that you are now allowed to “create social experiences,” which, roughly put means “you get fucked in the ass by Ning, and you will ask for second helpings…at our discretion.”
- Users of Ning are currently complaining of increased spam in their inboxes stating that they should join other social networks. This is an obvious effort to consolidate as many niche groups as possible under one banner.
—Yet another sucker. |
All of these measures are designed to garner investors and to consolidate the site’s content further and further. Taking away content from the original creator and using it as if it were Ning’s own content until the site is all under one massive network just called “Ning” with no outside ability to control what was once yours.
—Angry@Ning |
Quotes
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Video
There are literally thousands of Ning related videos located on YouTube and other web resources. Because the social site allows the embedding of such videos into it's web pages, each and every social network will cater it's videos to it's particular subject matter...here are a few small examples of what to expect:
Previous Video | Next Video
See Also