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{{notice|<center><big><big>''This article was brought to you by '''your imagination!'''''</big></big></center>}}
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<br>
[[Image:Evil_barney.jpg|thumb|No.]]
'''''Barney & Friends''''' is a television show that has a talking [[dinosaur]] teach [[children]] about the wonders of [[love]] and [[Orgy|caring for each other]]. In the 1990s, no other children's television show on [[Free|public television]] was as hated and reviled as ''Barney''. In fact, if you wanted to torture someone to madness and beyond, you would sing "I LOVE YOU" nonstop until they become [[an hero]]. As a result, ''Barney'' became the go-to thing to make fun of for [[13-year-old boys|kids]] trying to [[Troll Shield|prove]] to bullies that they were more [[Emo|mature]] than others. Because nothing says maturity like obsessing over a character intended for preschoolers, right? Just kidding, even adults can't stand this piece of shit.


[[Image:Evil_barney.jpg|thumb|or bloodthirsty child rapist?]]
It's worth mentioning that while the original 1992 ''Barney & Friends'' ceased production of new episodes in September 2009, a [[DO NOT WANT|revival was set to launch in 2017]], but was apparently canceled, as no new episodes were ever broadcast.
[[Image:Happy_barney.jpg|left|thumb|100px|Gentle, boy-loving furry?]]


<center><youtube>4p8PYstmBi8</youtube></center>
==Characters==
<center>'''WEST COAST NIGGA4LYF'''</center>
[[Image:BARNEY_SKULL_FUCKING_LITTLE_GIRL.jpg‎|250px|thumb|Behind the set of ''Barney & Friends''.]]
*'''[[Pedo|Barney]]''' &ndash; The main character Barney is an [[furry|anthropomorphic]] purple-colored ''Tyrannosaurus rex'' that has been [[castration|neutered]], [[retard|lobotomized]] and made into a [[pussy]] [[PETA|vegan]] slave to [[politically correct]] America. As such, Barney performed simple acts of love and kindness to the children that will [[George W. Bush|soon start a war when they grow up]].


[[Image:BARNEY_SKULL_FUCKING_LITTLE_GIRL.jpg‎|thumb|[[loli|Yep]].]]
*'''[[BJ]]''' &ndash; BlowJob is a dinosaur that wears [[Nigger|shoes and a cap]]. He thinks he's badass, but he's just a pussy that is easily scared by paper spiders and the lack of pickles on his sandwich.


[[Image:360_kid_barney.jpg|thumb|Barney the dinosaur and his companions [[Cunt|Baby Bop]] and [[BJ]], siblings who sometimes guest on his show]]
*'''[[Bitch|Baby Bop]]''' &ndash; Baby Bop is BJ's sister that wears a bow on her [[Dick|huge head]]. She wishes to be a ballerina someday, but who is going to allow an extinct species to dance on Broadway? Also she carries a blanket around with her, doing the Linus Van Pelt approach of not giving up a sheet of fabric.
'''Barney  and Friends''' is a television show that came from the realms of [[YouTube|horrible T.V.]] In the 90's, no [[Littlekuriboh|other children's television show]] was as hated and reviled as Barney. In fact, if you wanted to torture someone to madness and beyond, you would [[Josef Fritzl|lock them in a room]] and play nothing but "Barney the Dinosaur".  


The main character, Barney was an [[furry|anthropomorphic]] purple T-Rex that had been [[castration|neutered]] and [[retard|lobotomized]] and made into a [[pussy]] [[PETA|vegan]] slave to [[politically correct]] America. As such, Barney performed simple song and dance in order to teach children how to eat shit and how to rape [[furry]] animals at will.
*'''[[Shit nobody cares about|Riff]]''' &ndash; Riff is BJ's and Baby Bop's cousin that is added to the cast to make the show seem [[Fail|more relevant]]. He is an [[audiophile]], giving him a fetish for the quality of music around him. He also likes to invent shit, but they are [[Crap|low quality]] and will break at the slightest touch.
{{clear}}


Barney's general theme was driving adults to drink and plot ways to murder a dinosaur.  
==Lack of educational value==
{{quote|[H]is shows do not assist children in learning to deal with negative feelings and emotions. As one commentator puts it, the real danger from Barney is denial: the refusal to recognize the existence of unpleasant realities. For along with his steady diet of giggles and unconditional love, Barney offers our children an one-dimensional world where everyone must be happy and everything must be resolved right away.|Some old ass professor at a university.}}


It was ranked on TV Guide's List of the 50 Worst TV Shows of All Time at #50. [http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2002/07/12/entertainment/main515057.shtml Seriously.]
It is now known that the true purpose of ''Barney'' was to produce brain-dead morons who couldn't think for themselves and become [[pansy|spineless pussies]]. Many commented that the show lacked any [[Bill Nye|educational value]] or substantive, positive content which only adds the criticism to poor old ''Barney''. Not to mention, it's probably never a genuinely good idea to plop a child whose age is 1-3 in front of the TV set.


<center><youtube>iNzaRHP_qRw</youtube></center>
==Barney in the world of pop culture==
[[Image:Barney_vore.jpg|thumb]]
It is safe to say that Barney is one of the most hated characters on TV, and ''Barney & Friends'' was once ranked #50 on ''TV Guide's'' 50 Worst Shows of All Time list. If a show is added to a list compiled by a magazine whose only job is to give you the time at which a show airs, and even then only gets that correct about half of the time, that's very deep [[shit]].


==Lack of Educational Value==
Songs were conceived calling for his death, comics were drawn showing him dying horribly, ''[[Animaniacs]]'' [[troll|mocked]] him as [[Xenu|a cosmic horror]] known as "[[bullshit|Baloney]]," and one mascot made up an entire act by [[Rape|beating up another loser in a Barney suit]].


{{quote|[H]is shows do not assist children in learning to deal with negative feelings and emotions. As one commentator puts it, the real danger from Barney is denial: the refusal to recognize the existence of unpleasant realities. For along with his steady diet of giggles and unconditional love, Barney offers our children an one-dimensional world where everyone must be happy and everything must be resolved right away.|Some commentator; apparently, Barney makes kids go into [[denial]].}}
The [[Internet]] responded naturally to the purple dildo monster by spawning the [[Usenet]] newsgroup "alt.barney.dinosaur.die.die.die," which was geared to the satirization, defamation and denouncement of Barney in any and all forms, even spawning a "[[Cosplay|roleplay]]" world in which members of the group would take on paramilitary personae, equipping themselves with such hardware as "Anti-Barney MechWarrior Units" and other assorted battle gear to defeat the rising tide of "Barneyism." It was known as the "[[Terrorists|Jihad]] to Destroy Barney" until [[Oxymoron|an irrational fear of Muslims]] set in after [[9/11]].


It is now known that the true purpose of Barney was to produce brain dead morons who couldn't think for themselves and be [[pansy|spineless pussies]]. Many commented that the show lacked any [[Bill Nye|educational value]] or substantive, positive content which only [[haters|added to the hatred]] for the show. Not to mention Barney walked around in a purple costume, which is completely [[Gay|straight]].
Here is a little ditty created by the [[Basement dwellers|wonderful users]] of Usenet.
And remember kids:
 
<center><youtube>2jSKyWSvNgg</youtube></center>
 
==Barney in Modern Culture==
It is safe to say that Barney is THE most hated thing in pop culture.
 
Songs were conceived calling for his death, comics were drawn showing him dying horribly, [[Animaniacs]] [[troll|mocked]] him as [[Xenu|a cosmic horror]] known as "[[bullshit|Baloney]]", and one mascot made up an entire act [[win|beating up another mascot in a Barney suit]].
 
If [[4chan]] was up and about in the 90s, Barney bashing would have its own forum with a steady stream of anti-Barney memes coming out on an hourly basis.
 
However, 4chan was not necessary in the days when Barney & Friends was at its peak popularity. The interbuttz responded naturally to such an abomination, spawning the [[Usenet]] newsgroup "alt.barney.dinosaur.die.die.die", which was geared to the satirization, defamation and denouncement of Barney in any and all forms, even spawning a "roleplay" world in which members of the group would take on paramilitary personae, equipping themselves with such hardware as "Anti-Barney MechWarrior Units" and other assorted battle gear to defeat the rising tide of "Barneyism".
 
TL;DR: Barney was hated even in the days of "milk and honey" interbuttz, and the net as a whole rose to combat him.
* "I love you, you love me, let's hang Barney from a tree.."
* "I love you, you love me, let's hang Barney from a tree.."
* "I love you, you love me, ho-mo-se-xu-al-i-ty..."
* "I love you, you love me, ho-mo-se-xu-al-i-ty..."
* "I love you, you love me, pe-do-phile, dontcha see?"
* "I love you, you love me, pe-do-phile, dontcha see?"
* and "A great big slug, for me to send you too, won't you say I HATE YOU TOO?"
* and "A great big slug, for me to send you too, won't you say I HATE YOU TOO?"
<center><youtube>zNNolx5ho8U</youtube></center>
===Barney Torture===
Barney is well-known for having the worst song in fucking existence. Just try and listen to it without wanting to jab a pencil through your ear canals:
[[Image:Barney_jihad.jpg|thumb|[[Glenn Beck Raped And Murdered A Young Girl In 1990|Those wacky Arabs!]]]]
[[Image:Barneydoom2.jpg|thumb|God Mode Enabled.]]
<center><youtube>dsKO_r76kfQ</youtube></center>
This song is also one of the six songs used for [[troll|torturing]] people.[http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs//archives/27123] That's right kids. Your government repeatedly plays this song to [[Arabs|camel jockeys]] in order to get them to beg for mercy. The good folks over at Guantanamo Bay like to use it as an interrogation technique, or maybe they just like to fuck with dirty sand [[niggers]]. Whatever the case, they apparently played it so much, that it has gained the title of "the most overused song in the U.S. interrogator’s arsenal."


{{quote|Interrogators at Guantanamo Bay... used the sappy kids’ show theme song as “futility music” to convince detainees of the futility of maintaining their silence. One United Kingdom human rights group protested President George W. Bush’s visit to England by blasting the song in his general direction.|In his general direction}}
===Barney torture===
''Barney'' is very infamous for having [[Shit|mediocre]] songs that make people shove [[Penis|pencils]] in their ear [[Asshole|canals]].


PROTIP: Mic-spam these songs in any video game with mic chat and then you'll have the entire server to yourself in no time at all.
This song is also one of the six songs used for [[Torture|torturing]] [[terrorists]]. That's right taxpayers, the government repeatedly plays this song to sand niggers in order to get them to beg for mercy. The good folks over at Guantanamo Bay like to use it as an interrogation technique, or maybe they just like to fuck with those [[Bestiality|camel fuckers]]. Whatever the case, they apparently played it so much that it has gained the title of "the most overused song in the U.S. interrogator’s arsenal."


ANOTHER PROTIP: B'harni heads a cult, he's the main leader and puts all his members into a hypnotic trance.
==Videos==
<center>
{{fv|BarneyVids|background-color: #FFFFFF;|font-weight: bold;
|<youtube>V4EuoXdN8Lw</youtube><center>'''Barney ain't messin' with bitches.'''</center>
|<youtube>iNzaRHP_qRw</youtube><center>'''Never let the water run for Barney.'''</center>
|<youtube>5sRk5WAMsz8</youtube><center>'''Oh, the horror!'''</center>
|<youtube>KmpMO2dJQ6Q</youtube><center>'''Play this song for ten hours or more to feel how the sand niggers feel.'''</center>
}}
</center>


<video type="youtube" id="Zrem9qvemoY" width="200" height="200" desc="Barney will [[USB line|show you later]]. Or maybe not." frame="true" position="right"/>
==Gallery==
{{Collapsegallery|Gallery|cg1|center|<gallery>
File:Barney Regret.jpg
Image:360_kid_barney.jpg|Barney the dinosaur and his companions [[Cunt|Baby Bop]] and [[BJ]], siblings who sometimes appear as guests on the show.
Image:Barney_jihad.jpg|[[Glenn Beck Raped And Murdered A Young Girl In 1990|Those wacky Arabs!]]
Image:Barneyfag's_worst_enemy.jpg|A fan fiction of which [[Brony|many people]] dream.
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:Barneydoom2.jpg|God Mode enabled.
</gallery>|border=purple|color=green}}


==See Also==
==See also==
*[[The Barney Bunch]]
*[[Barney Bunch]]
*[[Barneyfag]]
*''[[Caillou]]''
*''[[Dora the Explorer]]''
*[[Gay]]
*[[Molestation]]
*[[Pedophilia]]
*[[Pedophilia]]
*[[Raptor Jesus]]
*[[Pussy]]
*[[Teletubbies]]
*[[Retarded]]
*''[[Teletubbies]]''


==External Links==
==External links==
*[http://www.jihad.net The Jihad to Destroy Barney]
*[http://www.jihad.net The Jihad to destroy Barney]
*[http://de.jihad.net/lib/bull-dotb.txt Sweet fucking Barney Fan-fiction]
*[http://de.jihad.net/lib/bull-dotb.txt Sweet fucking Barney fan fiction]
*[http://pbskids.org/barney/ Barney's personal website]
*[http://pbskids.org/barney/ Barney's personal website]
*[http://tooner14.deviantart.com Barney's #1 fan]
*[http://tooner14.deviantart.com Barney's #1 fan]
{{faggotry}}


[[Category:Faggotry]]
{{Television}}
[[Category: TV Shows]]
{{movies}}

Latest revision as of 22:22, 24 September 2018

This article is paid for by taxpayers like you.
Thanks, America.


No.

Barney & Friends is a television show that has a talking dinosaur teach children about the wonders of love and caring for each other. In the 1990s, no other children's television show on public television was as hated and reviled as Barney. In fact, if you wanted to torture someone to madness and beyond, you would sing "I LOVE YOU" nonstop until they become an hero. As a result, Barney became the go-to thing to make fun of for kids trying to prove to bullies that they were more mature than others. Because nothing says maturity like obsessing over a character intended for preschoolers, right? Just kidding, even adults can't stand this piece of shit.

It's worth mentioning that while the original 1992 Barney & Friends ceased production of new episodes in September 2009, a revival was set to launch in 2017, but was apparently canceled, as no new episodes were ever broadcast.

Characters

Behind the set of Barney & Friends.
  • BJ – BlowJob is a dinosaur that wears shoes and a cap. He thinks he's badass, but he's just a pussy that is easily scared by paper spiders and the lack of pickles on his sandwich.
  • Baby Bop – Baby Bop is BJ's sister that wears a bow on her huge head. She wishes to be a ballerina someday, but who is going to allow an extinct species to dance on Broadway? Also she carries a blanket around with her, doing the Linus Van Pelt approach of not giving up a sheet of fabric.
  • Riff – Riff is BJ's and Baby Bop's cousin that is added to the cast to make the show seem more relevant. He is an audiophile, giving him a fetish for the quality of music around him. He also likes to invent shit, but they are low quality and will break at the slightest touch.

Lack of educational value

   
 
[H]is shows do not assist children in learning to deal with negative feelings and emotions. As one commentator puts it, the real danger from Barney is denial: the refusal to recognize the existence of unpleasant realities. For along with his steady diet of giggles and unconditional love, Barney offers our children an one-dimensional world where everyone must be happy and everything must be resolved right away.
 

 
 

—Some old ass professor at a university.

It is now known that the true purpose of Barney was to produce brain-dead morons who couldn't think for themselves and become spineless pussies. Many commented that the show lacked any educational value or substantive, positive content which only adds the criticism to poor old Barney. Not to mention, it's probably never a genuinely good idea to plop a child whose age is 1-3 in front of the TV set.

Barney in the world of pop culture

It is safe to say that Barney is one of the most hated characters on TV, and Barney & Friends was once ranked #50 on TV Guide's 50 Worst Shows of All Time list. If a show is added to a list compiled by a magazine whose only job is to give you the time at which a show airs, and even then only gets that correct about half of the time, that's very deep shit.

Songs were conceived calling for his death, comics were drawn showing him dying horribly, Animaniacs mocked him as a cosmic horror known as "Baloney," and one mascot made up an entire act by beating up another loser in a Barney suit.

The Internet responded naturally to the purple dildo monster by spawning the Usenet newsgroup "alt.barney.dinosaur.die.die.die," which was geared to the satirization, defamation and denouncement of Barney in any and all forms, even spawning a "roleplay" world in which members of the group would take on paramilitary personae, equipping themselves with such hardware as "Anti-Barney MechWarrior Units" and other assorted battle gear to defeat the rising tide of "Barneyism." It was known as the "Jihad to Destroy Barney" until an irrational fear of Muslims set in after 9/11.

Here is a little ditty created by the wonderful users of Usenet.

  • "I love you, you love me, let's hang Barney from a tree.."
  • "I love you, you love me, ho-mo-se-xu-al-i-ty..."
  • "I love you, you love me, pe-do-phile, dontcha see?"
  • and "A great big slug, for me to send you too, won't you say I HATE YOU TOO?"

Barney torture

Barney is very infamous for having mediocre songs that make people shove pencils in their ear canals.

This song is also one of the six songs used for torturing terrorists. That's right taxpayers, the government repeatedly plays this song to sand niggers in order to get them to beg for mercy. The good folks over at Guantanamo Bay like to use it as an interrogation technique, or maybe they just like to fuck with those camel fuckers. Whatever the case, they apparently played it so much that it has gained the title of "the most overused song in the U.S. interrogator’s arsenal."

Videos

Barney ain't messin' with bitches.

Never let the water run for Barney.

Oh, the horror!

Play this song for ten hours or more to feel how the sand niggers feel.

Gallery

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See also

External links

Barney and Friends is part of a series on

Television

Visit the Television Portal for complete coverage.