John Pike: Difference between revisions
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[[File:John Pike Jesus.jpg| center| frame|Fuck [[Jesus]]]] | [[File:John Pike Jesus.jpg| center| frame|Fuck [[Jesus]]]] | ||
[[File:Article-2065628-0EE8841400000578-142 306x370.jpg|thumb|right| | [[File:Article-2065628-0EE8841400000578-142 306x370.jpg|thumb|right|Look at that chubby expression, he knows what he did, the little [[troll|rascal]]]] | ||
'''Lt. John Pike''', a.k.a. '''The Pepper Spray | '''Lt. John Pike''', a.k.a. '''The Pepper Spray Cop''' a.k.a. '''Dr Pepper''' is a [[badass]] policeman who appropriately dealt with a large line of dirty, jobless [[hippies]] at the [[Occupy Wall Street|Occupy UC Davis]] in [[California]], by [[pwn|pwning]] their ugly faces with [[Cum|a nice hot stream]] of [[Zyklon B|pepper spray]]. Pike couldn't stand their newfaggotry and bitchy whining, plus the little shits were blocking his way to an ice cream van on the other side of the park, so he did what any God-fearing patriot would do: proceeded to whip out his [[Dong|pepper spray can]] and cover the irritating [[nerds]] in [[Tubgirl|liquidized orange]] pain [[I DID IT FOR THE LULZ|for the lulz]]. | ||
Since the incident, Pike has become a [[forced meme]], and every [[hipster]] in the universe has applied their [[retarded|brilliant]] | Since the incident, Pike has become a [[forced meme]], and every [[hipster]] in the universe has applied their [[retarded|brilliant]] Photoshop skillz, [[cuntpaste|cuntpasting]] Pike's chillax lulzy stroll onto every random picture they can find. [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/25/john-pike-uc-davis-pepper-spray-anti-gay-slur_n_1113420.html He also hates fags]. Whatta guy. | ||
== | ===The [[tl;dw|Captivating]] True Story=== | ||
<center>{{frame|<big>'''IN THE FACE'''</big><br> | <center><youtube>hhPdH3wE0_Y</youtube><br> | ||
'''U Mad OWS?'''</center> | |||
==Footage of Pike Unleashing Græt Justice on hippie's Eyes== | |||
<center>{{frame|<big>'''IN THE FACE'''</big><br> [[File:JohnPikeTrollFace.jpg|thumb|right|Problem, hippies?]] | |||
<youtube>6AdDLhPwpp4</youtube>|border=grey|background=grey}}</center> | <youtube>6AdDLhPwpp4</youtube>|border=grey|background=grey}}</center> | ||
== | |||
===Faux News [[Trolling|Coverage]]=== | |||
[[File:John Pike Charizard.gif|thumb|right|[[Pokemon|It's super effective!]]]] | [[File:John Pike Charizard.gif|thumb|right|[[Pokemon|It's super effective!]]]] | ||
Faux News | Faux News understood that this pudgy, mustachioed cop was only truly doing his duty in spraying the little jobless bastards, and expressed in utmost sincerity through political [[Whore|pundit]] [[cumdumpster|Megyn Kelly]] that they were clearly just being a bunch of whining [[pussies]]. | ||
{{quote|Pepper spray is like a derivative of real pepper. It's like a food product, essentially|[[Image:Trollicon.gif]]}}. | {{quote|Pepper spray is like a derivative of real pepper. It's like a food product, essentially|[[Image:Trollicon.gif]]}}. | ||
Of course most other news coverage spoke of this beautiful cop hero as though he is some sort of villain, despite being an astute | Of course most other news coverage spoke of this beautiful cop hero as though he is some sort of villain, despite being an astute supplier of [[lulz]] and our right to walk through a park. Some even insinuated that the unwashed hippies were not explicitly [[asking for it]], which they clearly were, normal citizens need to walk their [[buy a dog|dog]], dammit. | ||
== | ==Butthurt Anonymous== | ||
Among the many people that were butthurt about | Among the many people that were [[butthurt]] about Johnny-boy's appropriate use of force were [[anonymous]], [[13-year-old boy|13-year-olds]] everywhere switched on their screechy, lame voice synthesizers, focusing all the [[nerd rage]] they could into [[JewTube]] videos, stating that the whole situation is [[Serious business |srs business]] and the selective vigilantism did, in fact, work because John's [[dox]] were thereafter {{Pastebin|QghPtQLr|posted}}. | ||
{{frame | <center>{{frame|<youtube>XGHX9blEngM</youtube> <br> <center>'''Man that synthesizer makes him sound so [[retarded|cool]]'''</center> | ||
|<youtube> | |border=green|background=green; margin: .5em auto;}}</center> | ||
==April 2016 update== | |||
[[File:UCD Google.jpg|thumb|Updated for 2016]] | |||
In April 2016, nearly five years after the original incident, the geniuses at UC Davis taught the world how ''not'' to do [[damage control]] by spending [http://www.sacbee.com/news/local/article71659992.html hundreds of thousands of dollars] to "scrub" references to the internationally famous incident from the Internet, naturally invoking the [[Streisand effect]]. News stories that had been long buried [[blowback|suddenly resurfaced]] at the top of Google results after their PR campaign went [[Funny|horribly wrong]]. By this time, the incident was ancient by Internet standards, but this slutty waste of public funds on a futile PR campaign sparked interest in the activities of "chancellor" Linda Katehi. Katehi, who is paid $424,360 per year by UC Davis, was [http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2016/03/uc-davis-students-call-for-the-ouster-of-their-chancellor/474963/ found] to have taken a job at a textbook company which pays $420,000 per year, and a seat on the board of [[ITT|DeVry]], an unaccredited diploma mill currently under investigation by federal authorities. Each of these "side gigs" demonstrates a clear conflict of interest, and Katehi is expected to suffer the [[Ruination|wrath]] of the [[Internet Hate Machine]] soon. | |||
== Gallery == | == Gallery == | ||
{{cg|Did you want pepper with that?|generalpicgallery|center|<gallery> | {{cg|Did you want pepper with that?|generalpicgallery|center|<gallery> | ||
File:OccupyUCD3.jpg|Be poor somewhere else. | File:OccupyUCD3.jpg|Be poor somewhere else. | ||
File:John Pike. | File:John Pike.png|[[OH EXPLOITABLE]] | ||
File:OWS police fashion.jpg | File:OWS police fashion.jpg | ||
File:John-pike-ows.jpg | File:John-pike-ows.jpg | ||
| Line 48: | Line 57: | ||
File:John Pike SealisBroken.jpg | File:John Pike SealisBroken.jpg | ||
File:John Pike WTC.jpg | File:John Pike WTC.jpg | ||
File:Chris-chan as the Pepper Spray Cop.jpg|[[Chris-chan]] LARPing as John Pike | |||
File:John Pike.declaration.1.png|Pike cries about a few extra pizzas, part 1 of 3 | |||
File:John Pike.declaration.2.png|part 2/3 | |||
File:John Pike.declaration.3.png|part 3/3 | |||
File:UCD blowback.jpg|The Streisand Effect | |||
</gallery>}} | </gallery>}} | ||
== See Also == | == See Also == | ||
* [[Don't Tase Me Bro]] | * [[Don't Tase Me Bro]] | ||
* [[Gas Mask Girl]] | |||
* [[Occupy Wall Street]] | * [[Occupy Wall Street]] | ||
* [[Zyklon B]] | |||
== External Links == | == External Links == | ||
*[http://hal.4chon.org/b/res/11856.html Discussion thread with his info.] | *[http://hal.4chon.org/b/res/11856.html Discussion thread with his info.] | ||
* | *<s>{{Pastebin|NAqhZjAX|More info on Pike, or something}}</s> {{archive|11XbS}} | ||
*[http://twitter.com/#!/PepperSprayCop Pepper Spray Cop Twitter feed.] | *[http://twitter.com/#!/PepperSprayCop Pepper Spray Cop Twitter feed.] | ||
{{Trolls}} | |||
{{Memes}} | {{Memes}} | ||
{{Timeline|Featured article December 6 & December 7, [[2011]]|[[Jim Profit]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[Subeta]]}} | |||
[[Category:2011]] | [[Category:2011]] | ||
[[Category:People]] | [[Category:People]] | ||
[[Category:IRL Shit]] | [[Category:IRL Shit]] | ||
Latest revision as of 00:49, 5 December 2018
Lt. John Pike, a.k.a. The Pepper Spray Cop a.k.a. Dr Pepper is a badass policeman who appropriately dealt with a large line of dirty, jobless hippies at the Occupy UC Davis in California, by pwning their ugly faces with a nice hot stream of pepper spray. Pike couldn't stand their newfaggotry and bitchy whining, plus the little shits were blocking his way to an ice cream van on the other side of the park, so he did what any God-fearing patriot would do: proceeded to whip out his pepper spray can and cover the irritating nerds in liquidized orange pain for the lulz.
Since the incident, Pike has become a forced meme, and every hipster in the universe has applied their brilliant Photoshop skillz, cuntpasting Pike's chillax lulzy stroll onto every random picture they can find. He also hates fags. Whatta guy.
The Captivating True Story
U Mad OWS?
Footage of Pike Unleashing Græt Justice on hippie's Eyes
IN THE FACE |
Faux News Coverage
Faux News understood that this pudgy, mustachioed cop was only truly doing his duty in spraying the little jobless bastards, and expressed in utmost sincerity through political pundit Megyn Kelly that they were clearly just being a bunch of whining pussies.
— | ||
.
Of course most other news coverage spoke of this beautiful cop hero as though he is some sort of villain, despite being an astute supplier of lulz and our right to walk through a park. Some even insinuated that the unwashed hippies were not explicitly asking for it, which they clearly were, normal citizens need to walk their dog, dammit.
Butthurt Anonymous
Among the many people that were butthurt about Johnny-boy's appropriate use of force were anonymous, 13-year-olds everywhere switched on their screechy, lame voice synthesizers, focusing all the nerd rage they could into JewTube videos, stating that the whole situation is srs business and the selective vigilantism did, in fact, work because John's dox were thereafter 
posted.
April 2016 update
In April 2016, nearly five years after the original incident, the geniuses at UC Davis taught the world how not to do damage control by spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to "scrub" references to the internationally famous incident from the Internet, naturally invoking the Streisand effect. News stories that had been long buried suddenly resurfaced at the top of Google results after their PR campaign went horribly wrong. By this time, the incident was ancient by Internet standards, but this slutty waste of public funds on a futile PR campaign sparked interest in the activities of "chancellor" Linda Katehi. Katehi, who is paid $424,360 per year by UC Davis, was found to have taken a job at a textbook company which pays $420,000 per year, and a seat on the board of DeVry, an unaccredited diploma mill currently under investigation by federal authorities. Each of these "side gigs" demonstrates a clear conflict of interest, and Katehi is expected to suffer the wrath of the Internet Hate Machine soon.
Gallery
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Be poor somewhere else. -
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Chris-chan LARPing as John Pike -
Pike cries about a few extra pizzas, part 1 of 3 -
part 2/3 -
part 3/3 -
The Streisand Effect
See Also
External Links
- Discussion thread with his info.
- More info on Pike, or something
(archive) - Pepper Spray Cop Twitter feed.
|
John Pike is part of a series on Visit the Trolls Portal for complete coverage. |
|
John Pike is part of a series on Visit the Memes Portal for complete coverage. |
| Featured article December 6 & December 7, 2011 | ||
| Preceded by Jim Profit |
John Pike | Succeeded by Subeta |