Steve Ballmer

Ballmer in his natural habitat

This is the guy who is in charge of Microsoft now

This is what keeps Ballmer alive

Steve Ballmer belongs to a rare breed of monkey that feeds on human genital wart. He was formerly the Filthy Jew In Charge of Microsoft after Bill Gates decided to stay home and play Halo 3.

In much the same way that Robert Gallo identified HIV-1, the virus that causes AIDS, Steve Ballmer was one of the first to identify the hacker operating system Lunix as a cancer. [1]

Steve Ballmer wants to fucking kill Google. He is also responsible for making post-Bill-Gates Windows total horseshit.

Skillz

• (Incorrectly) Forecasting release date of major software products
• Kill human beings and small animals with chair-shots
• Make Linux fanboys want to take a shower and start using Mac
• Making Chink laborers make shitty computers.

Dance, Monkey Dance!

In 2001, Ballmer induced huge amount of lulz into the internets with his Monkey Dance in a developer conference shouting "Developers, Developers!" then collapsing into a seizure.

• 
  Even billionaire doctors are helpless -- A Raving Lunatic!
• 
  Ballmer, just before plunging into a coma
• 
  Do you?
• 
  He lieks

Developers!

Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers! Developers, developers, developers, developers!

GTFO

After Windows 8, Windows tablets, Windows phones, and Xbox One all ended in miserable business failure, shareholders have kicked Ballmer's fat monkey ass out of the CEO seat.

See Also

• Fucking Eric Schmidt is a fucking pussy

	Steve Ballmer is part of a series on Microsoft [GoodbyeWelcome]
[Stand By] [Turn off] [Restart] The Staff Bill Gates Steve Ballmer Clippy Steve Jobs Microsoft Sam Operating Systems Windows Xbox Xbox 360 Xbox One Xbox Series X Xbox Live Zune Software And Utilities Asirra Bing Keep your email private The Matrix Microsoft Office Microsoft Paint Microsoft PowerPoint MSN Windows Movie Maker WMV Media Transfer Protocol Notepad Skype

Steve Ballmer is part of a series on Softwarez Visit the Softwarez Portal for complete coverage.