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{{daid2|Terrible attack article, has until 9/11/11 before I fly a 747 into it}}
'''HBalthamos''', a [[Britfag|British]] [[furfag]] and [[Assburgers|Eevee-obsessed Pokémon-nut]] who has now had innumerable dA accounts, having been previously known by related handles such as '''H-Balth''' and '''Homao-Balthamos'''. Faith is a tartlet so empty-headed that she cannot even spell 'homo' correctly.
HBalthamos, a British [[Furry|furfag]] and [[Assburgers|Eevee-obsessed Pokémon-nut]] who is probably on her 4th or 5th Deviantart by now, having been previously known by related handles such as "H-Balth" and "Homao-Balthamos". Faith is a tartlet so vacuous that she cannot even spell 'homo' correctly.


[[File:H-balth.png|frame|right|The [[FGAS|FGAS]] does absolutely nothing for her.]]
[[File:Roadkillisnotsexy.jpg|thumb|Kill it with fire.]]


Her popularity stems from an [[Mary Sue|Eevee recolor OC]] drawn in the 'Sonic' style, the style in which every retard seems to be mimicking on dA nowadays. Hordes of basement-dwelling sheeple gobble every last word of her unintelligibly-written Journals, which more often than not bemoan her life and the lack of attention paid to her. Many [[White knighting|supporters]] have fapped their tiny members after commenting on this drivel, hoping the [[Ugly|beautiful]] [[Trap|maiden]] behind the screenname will open her gaping vagoo for them in return for their e-sympathy.


For years she has claimed to be perfecting her [[Shit|'art']], yet the only subject she draws is her irritating little Eevee fursona which [[Lie|of course resembles her]]. Rather than actually improving her skills, she spends the majority of her time whoring attention from the Sonic community, begging for points donations, art gifts and trading shitty art in return.
==At First==


==='''The Land from Whence the Lardo Came'''===
[[File:ButchBalth.jpg|thumb|Oh dear.]]


Faith dropped out of some whore's vagina on 2nd January, 1990. She hails from some shithole called Portsmouth in England, UK. However, she has not resided there for years, having hopped from [[Furry|desperate virgin to desperate virgin]] for a [[Slut|free roof over her head and Pokémon plushes]].


Having bed-hopped (if a creature that size can actually hop) via York to Liverpool, she has left behind [[Bawww|a trail of broken hearts and owed money]].
Her popularity stems from an [[Mary Sue|Eevee recolor OC]] drawn in the [[Sonic]] style, the style in which every retard seems to be mimicking on dA nowadays. Hordes of basement-dwelling sheeple gobble every last word of her unintelligibly-written journals, which, more often than not, [[emo|bemoan her life and the lack of attention paid to her]]. Many [[White knighting|supporters]] have fapped their tiny members after commenting on this drivel, hoping the [[Ugly|beautiful]] [[Trap|maiden]] behind the screenname will open her gaping vagoo for them in return for their e-sympathy. Since the publication of this article, however, she has taken to disappearing for long periods of time, [http://dat-balthamos.deviantart.com/#/d5g22pa only returning occasionally to lap up attention from her horde of e-fans].


[http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/local/east-hampshire/ditched_lover_in_court_for_claiming_ex_stole_his_wii_1_1235244 Accepting expensive presents off a guy you're about to break up with is A-OK!]
For years she has claimed to be perfecting her [[Shit|'art']], yet repetitively scribbles anatomically-mangled sketches of her [[totally original|recolor]] Eevee and Pokemon that should have been aborted from existence. Rather than actually improving her skills, she spends the majority of her time whoring attention from the [[retards|Sonic community]], begging for points donations, art gifts and trading shitty art in return.
 
Her uninventive Eevee recolor has been drawn variously with the sort of figure she would aspire to, but utterly fail to achieve - large, pert breasts and a tiny waist, with legs that don't happen to resemble overstuffed sausages. It is little wonder that she has had the opportunity to amass hundreds of gullible followers who are ignorant to the fact that her true form resembles a butch lesbian. Faith shat brix when Nintendo unveiled their Generation V Pokemon Zorua, which she initially claimed was a rip off her [[unoriginal|Eevee recolor]], bawling to the dA community that she had been screwed over by Nintendo. She rapidly backtracked and claimed to be obsessively in love with Zorua when several users pointed out her overwhelming stupidity, but not before quick-thinking users of dA and FurAffinity screencapped the lulz.
{|
|-
| [[File:Stolemaheevee2.jpg|thumb|x300px|OMG NINTENDO TOTALLY STOLE FROM ME!!!111 Ther r 2 many simmulairities!!!]]
| [[File:Stolemaheevee1.jpg|thumb|x300px|Nintendo does not give a shit about your recolor.]]
| [[File:Stolemaheevee3.jpg|thumb|x300px|Oh, I was totally joking about Nintendo stealing from me.]]
|}
If this wasn't enough, she's also been known to sell her other 'original characters', some of which were not even designed by her in the first place. Despite vocalizing her disapproval of character sales, she went ahead anyway, thinking she could make a quick buck. Her last known character sale left her hundreds of dollars out of pocket, just one of many things proving that she is a dumb bitch.
 
{|
|-
| [[File:Sellingcharacters.PNG|thumb|200px|Dude speaking the truth.]]
| [[File:Sellingcharacters2.PNG|thumb|200px|I'M SERIOUSLY NOT OUT FOR YOUR MONEY.]]
| [[File:Sellingcharacters3.PNG|thumb|200px|FUCK. LOST MONEY.]]
|}
 
 
==Origins of a Disturbed Creature==
 
Faith dropped out of some simpleton's vagina on 2nd January, 1990. She hails from some shithole called Portsmouth in England, UK. However, she has not resided there for years, having hopped from [[Furry|desperate virgin to desperate virgin]] for a [[Slut|free roof over her head and Pokémon plushies]]. Lulz have been provided not only by her online faggotry, but by her real-life exploitation of the following gormless idiots:
 
[http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/local/east-hampshire/ditched_lover_in_court_for_claiming_ex_stole_his_wii_1_1235244 Accepting expensive presents off a guy you're about to break up with is A-OK!] So is stealing mail and jumping city to avoid prosecution!


[http://cab00se-1.deviantart.com/ Screwing over guys for money and presents sure is fun!]
[http://cab00se-1.deviantart.com/ Screwing over guys for money and presents sure is fun!]


[http://pet123.deviantart.com/ Forever alone...]
[http://pet123.deviantart.com/ Forever alone... allegedly dumped for being too into furry porn and bestiality.]
 
[http://csm-101.deviantart.com/ The latest victim.]


Such information is freely available due to her useless spamming of the communities on LiveJournal, Twitter, deviantArt and FurAffinity. No, ladies and gentlemen. Attention-whoring just one web community simply isn't enough.
Such information is freely available due to her attention-whoring of the communities on [[LiveJournal]], [[Twitter]], deviantArt and [[FurAffinity]]. It makes for amusing reading, but requires much brainpower to decipher her illiterate ramblings.


{{quote|Not too long ago, I had a big relationship problem, and in a fit of LOLRAGE, I deleted my DA account because it was OH SO associated with him, and the past... If this is something wrong, then im sorry, Sorry I went back to being me, I've had this character for too damn long for it to be replaced instantly. I'm sorry If I've upset some people ( Which obviously over at twitter, I have? )  
{{quote|Not too long ago, I had a big relationship problem, and in a fit of LOLRAGE, I deleted my DA account because it was OH SO associated with him, and the past... If this is something wrong, then im sorry, Sorry I went back to being me, I've had this character for too damn long for it to be replaced instantly. I'm sorry If I've upset some people ( Which obviously over at twitter, I have? )  
Line 33: Line 51:
LIKE IT OR NOT IM BACK BBYS|What.}}
LIKE IT OR NOT IM BACK BBYS|What.}}


==='''[[GOTIS|GOTIS]]'''===


Her uninventive Eevee recolor, with large, pert breasts and a tiny waist is used as a cunning weapon to lure in the unsuspecting virgin...
=="Burglary" Controversy==
 
As of [[September]] 2011, Faith has recently been "burgled" and thereafter [[Attention Whore|whined]] about it for days on end on her deviantArt, LiveJournal and Twitter. She claimed poverty by declaring that she had but £25 to her name and that all her games consoles and associated games were stolen, which would not be replaced for free because she is a moron and [[Idiot|didn't have insurance]]. She would not shut up about it until her incessant whining caused her [[Retarded|adoring fans]] to donate $300 to her, which she promptly spent on [[plushie|plush toys]] and video games rather than, say, food or rent like [[NORP|non-retards]] would.
 
[[Image:HBalthamos_Begging.jpg|thumb|left| "I'm not asking for money... but look! I've made a Chipin page anyway, because actually money is all I give a shit about."]]


[[File:HBalthamos.jpg|thumb|center|Potential boner?]]
[[Image:HBalthamos_Donations.jpg|thumb| Although she's 'fallen on hard times', this is the shit she's wasting your hard-earned money on...]]
 
Of course, those who rightfully suspect that this is all another attention-grabbing scam are silenced by being reported as spammers. Faith, you [[coward|fucking wuss]].


... and then we have the real HBalthamos, in all her [[Fat|obese glory]].


[[File:HBalthamos_the_Heffer.jpg|thumb|center|[[Whale|Total anti-boner]]]]


Miraculously, this still doesn't put off the desperate ones.


==='''"Burglary" Controversy'''===


As of September 2011, Faith has recently been "burgled" and thereafter [[Attention Whore|whined]] about it for days on end on her deviantArt, LiveJournal and Twitter. She claimed poverty by declaring that she had but £25 to her name and that all her games consoles and associated games were stolen, which would not be replaced for free because she is a moron and [[Idiot|didn't have insurance]]. She would not shut up about it until her incessant whinging caused her [[Retarded|adoring fans]] to donate [[Over 9000|$300]] to her, which she promptly spent on plush toys and videogames rather than say, food or rent like [[Normal|non-retards]] would.


[[Image:HBalthamos_Begging.jpg|thumb|left| "I'm not asking for money... but look! I've made a Chipin page anyway, because actually money is all I give a shit about."]]


[[Image:HBalthamos_Donations.jpg|thumb| Although she's 'fallen on hard times', this is  the shit she's wasting your hard-earned money on...]]


Of course, those who rightfully suspect that this is all another attention-grabbing scam are silenced by being reported as spammers. Faith, you [[coward|fucking wuss]].
<br />
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==='''External Links'''===


[http://hbalthamos.deviantart.com/ Her deviantArt]


[http://balthamos.blogspot.com/ Her Blogspot]


[http://twitter.com/#!/HBalthamos Her retarded Twitter]


Spam the donation email address at: [email protected]


==In denial==


Msn: Balthamos@live.co.uk
Just to prove that she really is just your [[ugly|average]], asinine attention whore, this [[whale|lovely, fetching young woman]] occasionally drops hints of bisexuality. Unfortunately for her, no female human being with any self-respect would confess to being a partner of hers. Her proclamations of bisexuality are instead manifested through a curious obsession with cartoon- and game-related pornography, as showcased by her [[fap|fap]] material on [[furaffinity|FagAffinity]] page [http://www.furaffinity/user/balthykins (here)]and [http://www.dat-balth.deviantart.com/favourites/ Deviantart].


Skype: Hitomo-Akamatsu
[[File:inkbunnysmut.png|thumb|alt=Begging for furry porn]]
 
Despite her insistence that her last break-up was due to her ex's obsession with furry porn and bestiality, it appears that she is hypocritically partial to it herself, even going so far as to offer art trades in return for drawings of her slutty Eevee being chained up and screwed. Given her status as an unemployed bum on welfare, she also has plenty of time to masturbate to [http://balthamos.tumblr.com/post/31995419599/pokephiles-dagasi-nsfw-i-dont-really-care .gifs of cartoon animal porn]. Who knows if her current, unfortunate partner knows how sick and twisted she is. If he does learn of it, he might want to reconsider [http://www.hairdyeforum.com/index.php?topic=8368.0 getting her name tattooed on his person].


AIM: Zoruas
==External Links==
*[http://dat-balthamos.deviantart.com/ deviantArt]
*[http://furaffinity.com/user/Balthykins/ FurAffinity]
*[http://balthamos.blogspot.com/ Blogspot]
*[http://twitter.com/#!/Datbalth/ Twitter]
*Skype: Hitomo-Akamatsu
*AIM: Zoruas


{{furfaggotry}}
{{da}}
{{da}}
[[Category:People]]
[[Category:People]]

Latest revision as of 18:24, 6 April 2014

HBalthamos, a British furfag and Eevee-obsessed Pokémon-nut who has now had innumerable dA accounts, having been previously known by related handles such as H-Balth and Homao-Balthamos. Faith is a tartlet so empty-headed that she cannot even spell 'homo' correctly.

Kill it with fire.


At First

Oh dear.


Her popularity stems from an Eevee recolor OC drawn in the Sonic style, the style in which every retard seems to be mimicking on dA nowadays. Hordes of basement-dwelling sheeple gobble every last word of her unintelligibly-written journals, which, more often than not, bemoan her life and the lack of attention paid to her. Many supporters have fapped their tiny members after commenting on this drivel, hoping the beautiful maiden behind the screenname will open her gaping vagoo for them in return for their e-sympathy. Since the publication of this article, however, she has taken to disappearing for long periods of time, only returning occasionally to lap up attention from her horde of e-fans.

For years she has claimed to be perfecting her 'art', yet repetitively scribbles anatomically-mangled sketches of her recolor Eevee and Pokemon that should have been aborted from existence. Rather than actually improving her skills, she spends the majority of her time whoring attention from the Sonic community, begging for points donations, art gifts and trading shitty art in return.

Her uninventive Eevee recolor has been drawn variously with the sort of figure she would aspire to, but utterly fail to achieve - large, pert breasts and a tiny waist, with legs that don't happen to resemble overstuffed sausages. It is little wonder that she has had the opportunity to amass hundreds of gullible followers who are ignorant to the fact that her true form resembles a butch lesbian. Faith shat brix when Nintendo unveiled their Generation V Pokemon Zorua, which she initially claimed was a rip off her Eevee recolor, bawling to the dA community that she had been screwed over by Nintendo. She rapidly backtracked and claimed to be obsessively in love with Zorua when several users pointed out her overwhelming stupidity, but not before quick-thinking users of dA and FurAffinity screencapped the lulz.

OMG NINTENDO TOTALLY STOLE FROM ME!!!111 Ther r 2 many simmulairities!!!
Nintendo does not give a shit about your recolor.
Oh, I was totally joking about Nintendo stealing from me.

If this wasn't enough, she's also been known to sell her other 'original characters', some of which were not even designed by her in the first place. Despite vocalizing her disapproval of character sales, she went ahead anyway, thinking she could make a quick buck. Her last known character sale left her hundreds of dollars out of pocket, just one of many things proving that she is a dumb bitch.

Dude speaking the truth.
I'M SERIOUSLY NOT OUT FOR YOUR MONEY.
FUCK. LOST MONEY.


Origins of a Disturbed Creature

Faith dropped out of some simpleton's vagina on 2nd January, 1990. She hails from some shithole called Portsmouth in England, UK. However, she has not resided there for years, having hopped from desperate virgin to desperate virgin for a free roof over her head and Pokémon plushies. Lulz have been provided not only by her online faggotry, but by her real-life exploitation of the following gormless idiots:

Accepting expensive presents off a guy you're about to break up with is A-OK! So is stealing mail and jumping city to avoid prosecution!

Screwing over guys for money and presents sure is fun!

Forever alone... allegedly dumped for being too into furry porn and bestiality.

Such information is freely available due to her attention-whoring of the communities on LiveJournal, Twitter, deviantArt and FurAffinity. It makes for amusing reading, but requires much brainpower to decipher her illiterate ramblings.

   
“ 		 
Not too long ago, I had a big relationship problem, and in a fit of LOLRAGE, I deleted my DA account because it was OH SO associated with him, and the past... If this is something wrong, then im sorry, Sorry I went back to being me, I've had this character for too damn long for it to be replaced instantly. I'm sorry If I've upset some people ( Which obviously over at twitter, I have? )

I cant change what I've done, hell if I could I would. But it's not like im LOL LEAVING DA OR ANYTHING. IF YOU ASK, HOMELL IS NOT MY CHARACTER ANYMORE LMFAO. I gave her to my best friend, so balth is getting a revamp, y'know, stuffs going down.. sorry for the whole account swap, this wont happen again, it was kind of like " Do I like a change, no. I don't.. okay, i'll go back now " kind of thing ( The real reason for having to change accounts was the fact of "homell" was the username, and well.. It wouldn't work very well if I had Homell's name around still LOL )

SO TL;DR

LIKE IT OR NOT IM BACK BBYS
 

„
  		 

—What.


"Burglary" Controversy

As of September 2011, Faith has recently been "burgled" and thereafter whined about it for days on end on her deviantArt, LiveJournal and Twitter. She claimed poverty by declaring that she had but £25 to her name and that all her games consoles and associated games were stolen, which would not be replaced for free because she is a moron and didn't have insurance. She would not shut up about it until her incessant whining caused her adoring fans to donate $300 to her, which she promptly spent on plush toys and video games rather than, say, food or rent like non-retards would.

"I'm not asking for money... but look! I've made a Chipin page anyway, because actually money is all I give a shit about."
Although she's 'fallen on hard times', this is the shit she's wasting your hard-earned money on...

Of course, those who rightfully suspect that this is all another attention-grabbing scam are silenced by being reported as spammers. Faith, you fucking wuss.







In denial

Just to prove that she really is just your average, asinine attention whore, this lovely, fetching young woman occasionally drops hints of bisexuality. Unfortunately for her, no female human being with any self-respect would confess to being a partner of hers. Her proclamations of bisexuality are instead manifested through a curious obsession with cartoon- and game-related pornography, as showcased by her fap material on FagAffinity page (here)and Deviantart.

Begging for furry porn

Despite her insistence that her last break-up was due to her ex's obsession with furry porn and bestiality, it appears that she is hypocritically partial to it herself, even going so far as to offer art trades in return for drawings of her slutty Eevee being chained up and screwed. Given her status as an unemployed bum on welfare, she also has plenty of time to masturbate to .gifs of cartoon animal porn. Who knows if her current, unfortunate partner knows how sick and twisted she is. If he does learn of it, he might want to reconsider getting her name tattooed on his person.

External Links

HBalthamos is part of a series on

Furfaggotry

Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage.

HBalthamos is part of a series on

DeviantART

Visit the DeviantART Portal for complete coverage.

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