Kirstie Alley

Kirstie still makes the occasional fetish porn flick

The truth hurts.

This is supposed to be one of her GOOD pictures???!

To be fair, almost every issue of the National Enquirer features a cover story about Kirstie Alley's obesity

Kirstie Alley is a morbidly obese transsexual Scientologist actress who can't stop shoveling junk food into her whore mouth and stinking cunt, even though she is currently on the brink of death. In August 2009, e-Doctors at the National Enquirer tabloid (like The Sun in the UK, but dumbed-down for Amerifags) correctly observed that Alley was so disgustingly fat and unhealthy looking that it would be a miracle if she lives another 4 years. This threw Alley into a RAEG, so naturally she decided to "tweet" her wrath across the internets with Twitter. It wouldn't have been anything unusual, but as a Scilon, Alley decided to openly drop dox and request harrassment of the National Enquirer staff members responsible for the story. In Scientology, this practice is called "Fair Game."

Early years

As a young man, Alley did not particularly have a problem with his weight. It was only after the botched Moroccan sex-change surgery and a brief but successful career in low-budget 1970s fetish pornography that she began to pile on the filthy, sweating layers of lard.

By the 1980s, Alley had become a Scilon. In conjunction with several hundred obligatory Hollywood blowjobs given to various Scilon TV producers, this paved the way for her primary claim to fame, the role of an obese tranny hooker in the banal television comedy show "Cheers."

Later career

Since "Cheers" died off in the early '90s or so, Alley has done absolutely nothing of interest or importance except pimp herself out as an exemplar of obese living. She managed to lose a few kilos/pounds for a year or so, and although she was still quite fat, somehow got a job appearing in advertisements to sell "diet" foods. She quickly gained back all the weight and was fired from the job.

Her Best Work (besides "For Richer or Poorer" Amiright?)

On tour

On Oprah's TV show, Kirstie took America on a tour of her multi-million dollar home with a full gym in the garage for lulz. She paid her slaves to move the equipment into her house but alas! she is still fat enough to break all the harpoonz.

Dying

After the National Inquirer article, Alley began to BAAAAWWW that the story scared her father. This would have been a minor incident but for what came next. Alley calls for "fair game" to be in effect on the article's writer.

“	Fair game. May be deprived of property or injured by any means by any Scientologist without any discipline of the Scientologist. May be tricked, sued or lied to or destroyed.	„
—Scientology cult founder L. Ron Hubbard, HCO Policy Letter of 18 October 1967

Here are Kirstie Alley's threats to the National Enquirer staff.

“   I DESPISE THE F*CKING NATIONAL ENQUIRER!!!! My 85 year old amazing father just called to ask me if “I AM DYING” Bless his heart..EVIL F*CKS 9:48 AM Aug 16th from web   „         “   I don’t care for myself..If it wasn’t weight it’s been some other lies for 28 years..but it breaks my heart when my Dad worries about it.. 9:56 AM Aug 16th from web   „         “   I am sharing this with you because it truly is the highest form of insidious evil bullying that exists.What you CAN do about it, is refuse 9:57 AM Aug 16th from web   „         “   to buy this shit. It wreaks havoc on families and friends, just like any other bullying except it is on a world wide scale. Oo Daddy, look away 9:58 AM Aug 16th from web   „         “   IIT PROVOKES me to do the same thing to them and their families as I CAN GET THEIR PRIVATE DATA. But my religion teaches ignore and flourish 10:00 AM Aug 16th from web   „         “   It also is never the answer to harm their loved ones when they are not even the target. I am NO DOVE, but I won’t hesitate to EXPOSE these 10:02 AM Aug 16th from web   „         “   nasty writers dirty little secrets..and I will be happy to EXPOSE them right here on twitter. Nasty Writers beware of the truth.. 10:04 AM Aug 16th from web   „         “   S[name redacted] …watch your back honey..two can play at the INFO and picture game and YOU are a public figure now too, girly girl..click click 10:07 AM Aug 16th from web   „         “   @mladenstanisic SHe IS famous isn’t she? Now she really IS a public figure. Fair Game for Public photos and speech. Same terms as Me..lol about 23 hours ago from web in reply to mladenstanisic   „         “   Please call Ms. [name redacted].Your natural instinct will be to be kind. Pretend your father just called you panicked that you were dying. Bang Bang about 23 hours ago from web   „         “   show S SOME LOVE..tell her my DADDY sent you..More news on S to follow about 23 hours ago from web   „         “   That’s [name redacted] [phone number redacted]. [email address redacted]..   „     —{{{27}}} Previous Quote | Next Quote

Moar TwitteRAGE

In her latest attempt to drop a few hundred pounds, Kirstie was AGAIN given her own TV show for marketing some silly diet plan. This time, no surprise, it is a diet plan based on Scientology. When a few media people dared to suggest that it might be a bunch of Scilon nonsense, Kirstie BLASTED their media bigotry with a few eloquent tweets.

“	Going to have Mr. Attorney call Mr. Friedman's Attorney tomorrow . . . Mr. Friedman is treading on thin LIBELOUS ice with my company. Crackkkk.... Mr. Friedman changed his libelous headline . . . TOO late. Unleash the DOGS.	„

See Also

• Twitter
• Kirstie Alley Is All A Twitter About Fair Gaming National Enquirer Employee

Kirstie Alley is part of a series on Scientology

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