Kirstie Alley
Kirstie Alley is a morbidly obese transsexual Scientologist actress who can't stop shoveling junk food into her whore mouth and stinking cunt, even though she is currently on the brink of death. In August 2009, e-Doctors at the National Enquirer tabloid (like The Sun in the UK, but dumbed-down for Amerifags) correctly observed that Alley was so disgustingly fat and unhealthy looking that it would be a miracle if she lives another 4 years. This threw Alley into a RAEG, so naturally she decided to "tweet" her wrath across the internets with Twitter. It wouldn't have been anything unusual, but as a Scilon, Alley decided to openly drop dox and request harrassment of the National Enquirer staff members responsible for the story. In Scientology, this practice is called "Fair Game."
Early years
As a young man, Alley did not particularly have a problem with his weight. It was only after the botched Moroccan sex-change surgery and a brief but successful career in low-budget 1970s fetish pornography that she began to pile on the filthy, sweating layers of lard.
By the 1980s, Alley had become a Scilon. In conjunction with several hundred obligatory Hollywood blowjobs given to various Scilon TV producers, this paved the way for her primary claim to fame, the role of an obese tranny hooker in the banal television comedy show "Cheers."
Later career
Since "Cheers" died off in the early '90s or so, Alley has done absolutely nothing of interest or importance except pimp herself out as an exemplar of obese living. She managed to lose a few kilos/pounds for a year or so, and although she was still quite fat, somehow got a job appearing in advertisements to sell "diet" foods. She quickly gained back all the weight and was fired from the job.
Her Best Work (besides "For Richer or Poorer" Amiright?)
On tour
On Oprah's TV show, Kirstie took America on a tour of her multi-million dollar home with a full gym in the garage for lulz. She paid her slaves to move the equipment into her house but alas! she is still fat enough to break all the harpoonz.
Dying
After the National Inquirer article, Alley began to BAAAAWWW that the story scared her father. This would have been a minor incident but for what came next. Alley calls for "fair game" to be in effect on the article's writer.
—Scientology cult founder L. Ron Hubbard, HCO Policy Letter of 18 October 1967 |
Here are Kirstie Alley's threats to the National Enquirer staff.
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Moar TwitteRAGE
In her latest attempt to drop a few hundred pounds, Kirstie was AGAIN given her own TV show for marketing some silly diet plan. This time, no surprise, it is a diet plan based on Scientology. When a few media people dared to suggest that it might be a bunch of Scilon nonsense, Kirstie BLASTED their media bigotry with a few eloquent tweets.
