User:DoctorBorous/Bitter Lake

Bitter Lake is a film made by furries to prove to the world that the furry fandom is really a family-friendly group of people that just like talking animals. The movie was produced on a budget of $2,000 (Not counting the fursuits) and was shot on-location in France. As it was made by furries, it is perhaps the worst movie ever produced, making The Room look Oscar-worthy.

Characters

The characters in Bitter Lake are perhaps the largest collection of Mary and Gary Stus ever written into a work of fiction. Some critics might ask "How much money did they spend for these fursuits?!" when, in fact, the movie didn't have any fursuits made, they just recycled the actor's personal characters. The character "Colonel Raden Drraer" is EZWolf's character "Onyx Beast" and "Belora dan Winters" is Rinthedragon's character Mingchun.

Plot

The plot for Bitter Lake makes less since than that of a Sonichu comic. The year is 1602 and the king of Valinor has been assassinated. The leaders of the provinces of the kingdom refuse to crown his son king, and instead fight amongst themselves, which leads to war. After 12 years, all the citizens are tired of the war, and instead of banding together to take care of the actual problems, they beg the leaders to end it. A secret meeting is arranged, and representatives (This idea is promptly thrown out, it seems that the representatives are the leaders themselves), which includes the king's son, are sent to figure out how to end the war.

And they're killed, one by one, by an impostor among them, who is working for the Dark Brotherhood, which is run by the king's other son, who is experiencing nerd rage because he was once called a retard (no seriously that's what it says in the movie). The son is conspiring to take the kingdom back through killing off these people (again, earlier said to be representatives, not the leaders themselves) and getting himself declared king by pretending to be sad that his brother was killed.

And then, he too is killed.

Reception

(See also: Furry_News_Network#The_Bitter_Lake_Bombshell.)
The movie was very hyped before it's release at Eurofurence, and while at the convention, it gained the support of a few popufurs like UncleKage. Once the DVD was available, things took a turn for the worse, and even the furry media put a Seal of Disapproval on the film.

“	The pace of the movie is slow, but it's the characters and story that really killed it. I was strongly reminded of Star Wars: The Phantom Menace; neither movie actually has a protagonist. In Bitter Lake we watch as four leaders attempt to be diplomatic for a third of an hour. The characters stand around and talk for a while, but nothing they say tends to really sink in as meaningful. No puns, no comic relief, just talking. At no point does anything happen that reveals personality on the part of any character, let alone something to make the viewer actually care about anyone or the story. No love interests. No renegades or rebels. No innocent victims. Everything is simply dull. In the remaining twenty minutes they kill each other one by one, while haranguing their victims with their motivations for doing so. That's it. In forty minutes, we watch a handful of fursuiters stand around and slowly do nothing but blather at each other, die, and answer the questions posed in the synopsis on the back of the DVD with a simple "no" and "yes."	„
—"Skyppyfox", http://www.flayrah.com/3721/review-bitter-lake

	“	I'd like my money back. The movie was the worst. I spent money on a B-rated "everyone dies" pile of crap. And to have a fur get mad because he's called a name? No really, I want my money back.	„
	—A FurAffinity user, on EZWolf's FA page.

See also

• Official website