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| | | #REDIRECT [[Apology]] |
| [[File:We apologize.jpg|250px|right]] | |
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| '''We Apologize''' is a phrase that is used to show remorse, regret or to admit to a mistake that was made and is a phrase that you will never see or hear from this site unless it is used with a [[Irony|Sarcastic]] tone such as ''"We Apologize for [[you]] being such a [[loser]]"''.
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| Apologies are for when you are truly [[Jeff Weise|regretful]] for what [[you]] have done and we don't desire your forgiveness because if you are deserving of an article of this site you are truly at the bottom of the [[internets]] barrel and are deserving of everything that you receive in conjunction with your article.
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| In [[fact]], if you have an [[article]] on this site it should be [[you]] that is apologetic because you are such a [[Psychochondria|Spaz]] that you have been noticed by the [[internets]] as a [[fuck]] up of epic proportions that you deserved an article here chronicling your [[Retard|Stupidity]] over a series of weeks, months or years.
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| The best thing [[you]] can do if you find yourself with an artticle on this site is to apologize to everyone you know for being such a pile of [[Shit]], [[pedophile]] or all around [[insane|psycho]] piece of breathing [[Shit]].
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| == Things We Won't Apologize For ==
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| [[File:Shrigley-Its-All-Your-Fault.jpg|right|250px]]
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| * You're an [[Ugly]] [[Troll]]: That's something you should take up with your [[Parents]] because it was their faulty DNA that produced [[you]].
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| * You're [[Fat]]: Again that's all your fault because you have no [[Troll|self control]] and have to eat everything in site.
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| * You're a [[Pedophile]]: You're a [[Sick Fuck]] and should [[An hero|kill yourself]] after reading this.
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| * You're a [[Doopie Doodles|High School Drop Out]]: You're most likely a [[Too lazy|lazy]] waste of flesh that begs for [[Money]] on [[Twatter]] while telling everyone on the site how you are days away from becoming an [[Animu]] artist and going to [[Japan]]
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| * You have a [[My Tiny Dick|tiny dick]]: This is the fault of your [[parents]] inferior DNA and you should [[Suicide|Kill Yourself]] immediately or walk around as a joke.
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| * You were born [[nigger|black]]: This is a punishment from [[God]] for your sins in a past [[life]] and you should live your life in penance so you can be reborn white.
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| * You don't have a [[girlfriend]]: This is a failure on your part because [[loli|girls]] find you repulsive. Get used to this because you will never find [[love]].
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| * You were born [[Money|Poor]]: Blame your parents for [[fuck]]ing up in [[education|high school]] and not being able to make it into college so all they can do is work at [[Food|Fast food]] restaurants.
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| * You were molested: Think of it this way, you were so hot as a child that an adult couldn't control themselves, sexually, around you.
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| * You're a [[Porn]]ographer: Whether it be drawing it, writing it, or taking and collecting photos - you should die a horrible [[Dead|Death]] where your innards are pulled out and shown to you before you pass.
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| * You don't believe in [[God]]: This is totally your choice if you want to believe in him or not but it won't be our fault when you're burning in [[Hell]].
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| * You're a [[Almost raped|rapist]]: There is no such thing as [[rape]] but if you need to utilize [[Surprise Sex]] as a technique for getting the [[pussy| puss puss]] you are a waste of flesh that probably can't talk to girls or get a [[Erection|Hard On]] when talking to them.
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| * You're in [[Prison]]: The answer is simple, you shouldn't have done what you did.
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| * You're a [[Leftard|Democrat]]: There is no cure for [[Retard]]edness.
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| * You're [[Florida]] Trailer Trash: Again, blame your parents because they chose to smoke Meth rather than go to school and all they can afford is a trailer park to raise you in.
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| * You're a [[Woman]]: Blame [[God]] for your being born without a [[penis]].
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| * You're a teenager with [[Cancer]]: Hey, what can we say, [[God]] hates you.
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| * You're the school bike: [[Amanda Todd|Drink bleach]] then kill yourself.
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| * You're the [[prison]] bike: Tighten up your sphincter because you're going to be prison gay until your release. If you can't live with it, you could always [[Suicide|kill yourself]].
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| * You're [[Chris Chan]]: You're [[God]]'s practical joke and it is your mom's fault for not aborting you at the moment of your conception.
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| == Elements Of A Good Apology To US And The World For You Being You ==
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| [[File:Truthful apology.jpg|right|250px]]
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| When apologizing to the world for your fuck up of being born it really helps that you show sincere remorse. We should be able to feel the regret of your mistake of being born and choosing to do the actions that led you to be noticed.
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| Second: You must take responsibility for the choices you have made on the [[Internets]] even if it is one that is not in your control such as being born ugly as there are many options that can be taken such as plastic surgery to improve upon this mistake.
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| Third: You must make amends for all the harms you have caused such as spreading stupidity across the [[internets]]. For most this might be rather [[Occam's Razor|difficult]] because their stupidity was contagious and led to others following in the tracks of their ineptitude. The only real solution and sincere apology is to leave the [[internets]] completely and never come back.
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| Fourth: If leaving the [[internets]] is not something you are willing to do then you must admit to your mistakes and promise never to make them again. An example would be you saying you [[Doopie Doodles|Support Hitler]] and after being chastised by the [[internets]] for it make a sincere apology admitting that what you said was wrong and won't be repeated again.
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| == Sincerity ==
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| [[File:Sincerity.jpg|right|250px]]
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| If you are [[Sorry|apologizing]] for something you did on the internet to get you chastised enmasse it is likely that you will most likely be [[Bullshit|insincere]] because you are only making the apology because that is what people are demanding.
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| The fact is, apologies are a sign of weakness because you are letting [[Crybaby|people]] decide your actions and you are selling out your beliefs by saying that what you said is a mistake and should never had been uttered.
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| Apologize, don't apologize it's up to you but one thing you shouldn't do is [[Pewdiepie|play it off as a joke]] because this is an insult to everyone's [[intelligence]] and only succeeds in pissing people off because you are taking a serious subject like [[Fags]] dying from AIDS and reducing it to a punchline
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| == See Also ==
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| * [[Sorry]]
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| * [[Troll's Remorse]]
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| * [[You]]
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| <center>'''Sorrrry'''<br><youtube>15HTd4Um1m4</youtube><br></center>
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| {{Language}}
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| {{Trolls}}
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| [[Category:IRL Shit]]
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| [[Category:Events]]
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| [[Category:Trolls]]
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| {{timeline|Featured article August 4 through August 5, 2020|[[Fat]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[George Floyd]]}}
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