In the kitchen: Difference between revisions
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[[Image:Kitchen_-_Back_To_The_Kitchen.jpg|center]] | [[Image:Kitchen_-_Back_To_The_Kitchen.jpg|center]] | ||
[[Image:Enteringthekitchen.jpg|thumb | [[Image:Enteringthekitchen.jpg|thumb|203px|[[Japan|Japanese kitchens]] default with your standard kitchen appliances, utensils, and [[doing it right|doggystyle-ready wife and two teen daughters]].]] | ||
Where [[women]] should be ( | Where [[women]] should be ({{ws|YouTube Favicon.png|https://youtu.be/1k5iefShVIM|proof}}), just like they have been for [[at least 100 years]]. If you are a woman and on [[teh internets]], get back '''in the kitchen''' and make your [[man]] a [[sandwich]]. [[Feminazi]] [[whores]] have been complaining about "in the kitchen" for [[at least 100 years]]. This complaining will continue until a Real Man stands up and starts [[BJ|pwning]] their stupid [[whore]] mouths. | ||
Every good [[IRC]] network has a #kitchen channel where the [[harem]] is located. | Every good [[IRC]] network has a #kitchen channel where the [[harem]] is located. | ||
== [[Over 9000]] years of history == | |||
Women throughout history have always been in the kitchen because it was the only place in the world that was always warm, and there was food there. The men were in the fields and down the mines. Women did not leave the kitchen until workplaces became air-conditioned, some time in the 1940's and 50's. Women still will not work outdoors, unless [[meth|circumstance]] forces them to become street prostitutes. | |||
== Teaching at a young age == | == Teaching at a young age == | ||
<youtube>bbIagfBcOMw</youtube> | <center><youtube>bbIagfBcOMw</youtube></center> | ||
== Things you will find in the kitchen == | == Things you will find in the kitchen == | ||
[[File:PantyPulling.gif|frame|right|130px|What you MUST do upon seeing her outside the kitchen.]] | [[File:PantyPulling.gif|frame|right|130px|What you MUST [[Sharking|do]] upon seeing her outside the kitchen.]] | ||
* [[Drug|Pots]] and pans | * [[Drug|Pots]] and pans. | ||
* An oven ( | * An oven (Warning: May be hot!). Shove your [[13-year-old boy|13-year-old brother]] into this... a Jew [[a cat is fine too|is fine too]]. | ||
* A fridge, this is a great place to hide the body of your [[13-year-old boy|13 year old brother]] after roasting him to death in the oven. | * A fridge, this is a great place to hide the body of your [[13-year-old boy|13-year-old brother]] after roasting him to death in the oven. | ||
* Women who know their place. If there aren't at least three, then you need to <s>buy</s> [[slave|enslave]] [[Mormon|more]]. | * Women who know their place. If there aren't at least three, then you need to <s>buy</s> [[slave|enslave]] [[Mormon|more]]. | ||
* A clock in the stove | * A clock in the stove. | ||
:<small>'''[[PROTIP]]''': Always use this as a defense whenever a woman asks for a watch; following up with a disciplinary slap is [[do it faggot|required]].</small> | |||
* [[Your mom]], she's either there or in my bed | * [[Your mom]], she's either there or in my bed along with your wife and daughter: who were already in my bed. | ||
* Your [[dad]], who teaches you that the stove is fucking '''HOT''' you [[fucktard]]. | * Your [[dad]], who teaches you that the stove is fucking '''HOT''' you [[fucktard]]. | ||
*A sammich... and crack... in Pyrex bowls | * A sammich... and crack... in Pyrex bowls. | ||
*[[Jam It In|Jam]], [[Peanut Butter Jelly Time|jelly]], and [[cum|marmalade]] | * [[Jam It In|Jam]], [[Peanut Butter Jelly Time|jelly]], and [[cum|marmalade]]. | ||
*<s>[[Spaghettios]]</s> Disregard that, some bitch stole them for performance art. | * <s>[[Spaghettios]]</s> Disregard that, some bitch stole them for performance art. | ||
== Fun things to do in the kitchen == | == Fun things to do in the kitchen == | ||
[[File:KYEye.jpg|thumb|right|This is what just might happen if you leave the kitchen, but all good women take it in stride.]] | [[File:KYEye.jpg|thumb|right|This is what just might happen if you leave the kitchen, but all good women take it in stride.]] | ||
* Stare into the fridge for half an hour, looking for [[chocolate]]. | * Stare into the fridge for half an hour, looking for [[chocolate]]. | ||
* Grab [[food]], possibly [[delicious cake]], out of fridge and [[OM NOM NOM NOM|insert into mouth]]. | * Grab [[food]], possibly [[delicious cake]], out of fridge and [[OM NOM NOM NOM|insert into mouth]]. | ||
* Practice [[goatse]] | * Practice [[goatse]]. | ||
* Lick the cold inside of your freezer, resulting in your tongue being stuck. | * Lick the cold inside of your freezer, resulting in your tongue being stuck. | ||
* [[pizza and beer|Drink beer and eat pizza]] | * [[pizza and beer|Drink beer and eat pizza]]. | ||
* Have [[sex]] on the kitchen table | * Have [[sex]] on the kitchen table. | ||
* Stare into the fridge again | * Stare into the fridge again. | ||
* Stare into the fridge while having sex. | * Stare into the fridge while having sex. | ||
* Have sex in the fridge. | * Have sex in the fridge. | ||
* Have sex ''with'' the fridge. | * Have sex ''with'' the fridge. | ||
* [[1man1jar|Have sex with a pickle jar.]] | |||
* Make marmalade. | * Make marmalade. | ||
* Cover your hand in ice until frozen, then shove it up your woman's arse. | * Cover your hand in ice until frozen, then shove it up your woman's arse. | ||
== Reasons to let her out of the kitchen == | == Reasons to let her out of the kitchen == | ||
* If she is [[Metroid|Samus Aran]] and promises to commit at least one act of [[genocide]] and/or [[Muhammad Cartoons|desecration of holy areas]] before she comes back. | * If she is [[Metroid|Samus Aran]] and promises to commit at least one act of [[genocide]] and/or [[Muhammad Cartoons|desecration of holy areas]] before she comes back. | ||
* So she can buy a [[gun]] and become [[An Hero]] with a [[Chris Benoit|murder suicide]], thus proving that she can [[do it faggot|do it]] even though [[you]] can't, you [[castration|emasculated]] [[bitch]]. | * So she can buy a [[gun]] and become [[An Hero]] with a [[Chris Benoit|murder suicide]], thus proving that she can [[do it faggot|do it]] even though [[you]] can't, you [[castration|emasculated]] [[bitch]]. | ||
* To get more food so she can come back to the kitchen and feed your [[fat ass]]. | * To get more food so she can come back to the kitchen and feed your [[fat ass]]. | ||
* So she can distract the [[FBI]] with her [[boobs]] while you evacuate your [[children|sex toys]], you [[sick fuck]]. | * So she can distract the [[FBI]] with her [[boobs]] while you evacuate your [[children|sex toys]], you [[sick fuck]]. | ||
* So she can suck your dick while you play | * So she can suck your dick while you play ''Modern Warfare 2'', since you don't have to do anything. | ||
* So she can suck your dick while you're watching an important game on | * So she can suck your dick while you're watching an important game on TV, or when you just don't feel like getting up, because that's [[Too lazy|too much work]] | ||
==How-to== | ==How-to== | ||
<center>{{frame|{{morphquote|hankid|background-color: White; width: 500px; height: | <center>{{frame|{{morphquote|hankid|background-color: White; width: 500px; height: auto;|font-weight: bold;| | ||
This is disgusting and repulsive. Not only did the poor soul in this video have to suffer through seeing a woman outside of the kitchen and be forced to return her to her designated area; but if you look closely at 0:03, you can see another woman who is not where she's supposed to be. Truly appalling. The sick minds who put together this episode should be punished severely. | This is disgusting and repulsive. Not only did the poor soul in this video have to suffer through seeing a woman outside of the kitchen and be forced to return her to her designated area; but if you look closely at 0:03, you can see another woman who is not where she's supposed to be. Truly appalling. The sick minds who put together this episode should be punished severely. | ||
| Line 58: | Line 64: | ||
|Tezcatlepocatl}}|border=black|background=white}}</center> | |Tezcatlepocatl}}|border=black|background=white}}</center> | ||
<center> | <center> | ||
{{fv|vids|background-color: #999999;|font-weight: bold;| | {{fv|vids|background-color: #999999; text-align:center|font-weight: bold; | ||
<youtube>HeHUQAnzpF0</youtube>| | |<youtube>HeHUQAnzpF0</youtube><br> | ||
|<youtube>p2e4zupnP4o</youtube><br> | |||
<youtube>p2e4zupnP4o</youtube>| | |<youtube>1k5iefShVIM</youtube><br> | ||
|<youtube>_5BljfmKvnE</youtube> | |||
<youtube>1k5iefShVIM</youtube>| | ;What's in GeoffRules12759s Kitchen?!?!?! | ||
|<youtube>RkURNapAROk</youtube> | |||
<youtube>_5BljfmKvnE</youtube> | ;Peter Coffin's [[Parody]] of [[women]] not listening the first time. | ||
|<youtube>SfT8C-GVSQI</youtube><br> | |||
<youtube>RkURNapAROk</youtube> | |||
<youtube>SfT8C-GVSQI</youtube><br> | |||
}} | }} | ||
</center> | </center> | ||
<!-- BALEETED | |||
;Metallica knows where women belong. | |||
|<youtube>RdRZTCnrImc</youtube> | |||
--> | |||
==Gallery== | ==Gallery== | ||
| Line 94: | Line 99: | ||
Image:Women_-_Know_Your_Place.jpg | Image:Women_-_Know_Your_Place.jpg | ||
Image:Feminism_-_Flyer.jpg | Image:Feminism_-_Flyer.jpg | ||
Image:Kirby_EVIL.psd.jpg | |||
Image:Backtothekitchen2.jpg | |||
File:Wife material.jpg|This bitch knows her place, and is much happier for it. | |||
File:Let electricity do it.png | |||
<!--Image:Respect 101.jpg--> | <!--Image:Respect 101.jpg--> | ||
</gallery> | </gallery>}} | ||
==See Also== | ==See Also== | ||
| Line 106: | Line 114: | ||
* [[Feminazis]] | * [[Feminazis]] | ||
* [[Make me a sandwich]] | * [[Make me a sandwich]] | ||
* [[Mumsnet]] | |||
* [[Tina S.]] | |||
==External Links== | ==External Links== | ||
* [http://www.wikihow.com/Buy-Oven-Mitts Buy your oven mitts] | * [http://www.wikihow.com/Buy-Oven-Mitts Buy your oven mitts] | ||
* | * {{yt|u|LauraVitalesKitchen|Laura shows how she belongs in the kitchen}} | ||
* {{yt|u|HotForCooking|Tifa Lockhart loves to cook in the kitchen!}} | |||
{{timeline|Featured article March 31, [[2018]]|[[BitTorrent]]|{{PAGENAME}}|[[MAD magazine]]}} | |||
[[Category:Locations]] | [[Category:Locations]] | ||
Latest revision as of 07:39, 17 May 2023
Where women should be (
proof), just like they have been for at least 100 years. If you are a woman and on teh internets, get back in the kitchen and make your man a sandwich. Feminazi whores have been complaining about "in the kitchen" for at least 100 years. This complaining will continue until a Real Man stands up and starts pwning their stupid whore mouths.
Every good IRC network has a #kitchen channel where the harem is located.
Over 9000 years of history
Women throughout history have always been in the kitchen because it was the only place in the world that was always warm, and there was food there. The men were in the fields and down the mines. Women did not leave the kitchen until workplaces became air-conditioned, some time in the 1940's and 50's. Women still will not work outdoors, unless circumstance forces them to become street prostitutes.
Teaching at a young age
Things you will find in the kitchen
- Pots and pans.
- An oven (Warning: May be hot!). Shove your 13-year-old brother into this... a Jew is fine too.
- A fridge, this is a great place to hide the body of your 13-year-old brother after roasting him to death in the oven.
- Women who know their place. If there aren't at least three, then you need to
buyenslave more. - A clock in the stove.
- PROTIP: Always use this as a defense whenever a woman asks for a watch; following up with a disciplinary slap is required.
- Your mom, she's either there or in my bed along with your wife and daughter: who were already in my bed.
- Your dad, who teaches you that the stove is fucking HOT you fucktard.
- A sammich... and crack... in Pyrex bowls.
- Jam, jelly, and marmalade.
SpaghettiosDisregard that, some bitch stole them for performance art.
Fun things to do in the kitchen
- Stare into the fridge for half an hour, looking for chocolate.
- Grab food, possibly delicious cake, out of fridge and insert into mouth.
- Practice goatse.
- Lick the cold inside of your freezer, resulting in your tongue being stuck.
- Drink beer and eat pizza.
- Have sex on the kitchen table.
- Stare into the fridge again.
- Stare into the fridge while having sex.
- Have sex in the fridge.
- Have sex with the fridge.
- Have sex with a pickle jar.
- Make marmalade.
- Cover your hand in ice until frozen, then shove it up your woman's arse.
Reasons to let her out of the kitchen
- If she is Samus Aran and promises to commit at least one act of genocide and/or desecration of holy areas before she comes back.
- So she can buy a gun and become An Hero with a murder suicide, thus proving that she can do it even though you can't, you emasculated bitch.
- To get more food so she can come back to the kitchen and feed your fat ass.
- So she can distract the FBI with her boobs while you evacuate your sex toys, you sick fuck.
- So she can suck your dick while you play Modern Warfare 2, since you don't have to do anything.
- So she can suck your dick while you're watching an important game on TV, or when you just don't feel like getting up, because that's too much work
How-to
Previous Quote | Next Quote | |||||
Previous Video | Next Video
Gallery
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Silly woman -
A perfect example that /b/tards existed before 4chan. -
That's right, cook while I read my porn -
That's right bitch. -
Iron Chan restores the order.
[Expand Gallery]
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Even Robotnik agrees. Not photoshopped. Srsly. -
The way Better Days should have ended. -
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This bitch knows her place, and is much happier for it. -
See Also
External Links
- Buy your oven mitts
- Laura shows how she belongs in the kitchen
- Tifa Lockhart loves to cook in the kitchen!
| Featured article March 31, 2018 | ||
| Preceded by BitTorrent |
In the kitchen | Succeeded by MAD magazine |