Former Bureaucratic Fucks

See the Wikipedia Portal for coverage of certain Wikipedia insider freaks.

Nobody noticed, but ever since a week ago when ED started updating articles about Wikipedia shit-eaters and administrators, their healthy supply of Bureaucratic Fucks has gotten thinner and smaller. Jimbo's Magic Turd Railway was getting awfully short on smug, power-crazed shitasses with the power to block people for any or no reason. Without them, Wikipedia might fall, and buster it's falling. And they won't admit it.

Here, we have collected a set of former fucks, so you can see how Wikipedia eats its own babies and makes yummy snacks out of its own shit. At its high point around 2008, Wikipedia had more than 1000 admins, virtually all of them officially "active". Thanks to general disgruntlement and increasing fucking damn wikilawyering, as of December 2014, the active-admin count has dropped to about 583, and the desysopping list has become really big. A bunch of inactive buttlicks are doing the minimum amount of "editing", just crap changes, to avoid the desysop ballsack removal. The cocks are hot, so hot they're ballin' and bailin'.

The Worst of the Worst

These power-players and clam-hats who were tossed out of the Wiki-Pool for committing outrageous atrocities, so stupid even their Wiki-Friends couldn't defend them. Or they left because it was "no fun anymore". The lulziest cases get their own separate articles:

• Chase me ladies, I'm the Cavalry
• Durova
• Erik Möller
• Jaranda (lol)
• Katefan0
• Kelly Martin
• Linuxbeak
• LaraLove
• Madame Wikiwiki
• Moreschi
• MZMcBride
• Persian Poet Gal
• Phaedriel
• Phil Sandifer
• Riana
• Rodhullandemu
• Ryulong
• Sam Blacketer
• Sceptre
• Will Beback
• Extra special mention: Fae

Roll Call Of The Lost Ones

As with the current fucks, these former inside playas are too fucking trivial and pathetic to deserve their own articles. Laugh at them. And stop picking at your smegma, you can't fool us, you Joos ain't got no place for smegma. Not like us cool kids. (We should note that all of these "rejects" from the Wiki-Septic-Tank still have supporters in the admin ranks, and might yet return to WP and manage to receive sysop powerz again, simply by asking. It's happened before and it'll keep on happening. "Gone" doesn't mean very much in a dysfunctional corrupt subculture. Also, cocks.)

172

172 was one of Wikipedia's earliest users, and one of its most abusive and petulant. [1] Although he was described as a "history professor at a U.S. undergraduate institution" by the Miami Herald [2], 172 was far from nonpartisan and unbiased. Claiming to be a "stone cold-neocon" on his user page, 172 pushes his agenda through a protective phalanx of administrators and other abusive editors. However, his independent influence may be overstated. For example, he has been described as a mere "ass puppet." [3] See this. 172 was also a charter member of the Wikipedia Jewish cabal.

In September 2009, 172 was permabanned from Wikipedia after it emerged that he in fact was merely a sock puppet account of the previously banned Lyndon LaRouche cultist Cognition. It was all bullshit, everyone involved ate some turds. Reportedly, SlimVirgin to date has never emotionally recovered from this revelation. The bestest part: he nearly trolled Wikipedia from outside, by agreeing to be interviewed at length for a 2012 documentary film called The Encyclopedia Game. Turned out to be a college student who lied about everything. An attempt to Kickstarter-fund the film was a massive flop, and 172 went back to his dungeon.

Blnguyen aka YellowMonkey

Bao Loc Nguyen (his real name, reals) was an insider and even talked his shitty way into Arbcom in 2006. An Australian college student and complete screaming asshole who enjoyed fighting with Hindu WP editors for some reason, despite being a pho-gobbler. Always fun to see an admin reverting an obvious grammar fix like it's vandalism. [4] He did this plenty of times.

Visual approximation, yeah he's jacking off

He was known to team up with other admins to take down other users, only to turn on them.[5] Which eventually got him an RFC, and since he's a pussy coward, he deleted everything and disappeared from Wikipedia. Maybe he got something like a life?

• YellowMonkey's Facebook

Can't sleep, clown will eat me

A total robot. He probably has an electric pump instead of a heart. He had to undergo three requests for adminship before they gave him the block-dildo. Then he went totally crazy, and raep was everywhere. Finally de-sysopped in 2008 for blocking users without contacting them or leaving a note on their talk page afterwards. Odd. Doesn't Wikipedia realize that all administrators do this routinely?

Cary Bass/Bastique

A fine upstanding gentleman taking a picture for MySpace.

Bastique/Cary Bass was a top administrator and the Volunteer coordinator at the Wikimedia Foundation. He was the replacement for the disgraced Danny Wool at WP:OFFICE. Also noted as an apologist for SlimVirgin sockpuppetry, when trying to explain her multi-day editing binges he said:

Back in my old days...2000 and before, I found crystal methamphetamine could keep me online for periods 24 hours and longer...sometimes wayyyy longer. Just saying, it doesn't have to be multiple people. Bastique▼^parler _voir 03:27, 8 September 2006 (UTC) [6]

He was also connected with the "Southeast Conference of Clubs, a self-selected association of members of "alternative lifestyles, including Levi/Leather, BDSM, Fetish and Bear interests." Furries need not apply. Being a turd burglar, Jimbo liked him because "he wouldn't compete with Jimbo for babes" or some shit like that. All of a fucking sudden in 2011, Cary cut back his WP activity to near zero; and he enrolled in Lutheran divinity school. Not making that up. He's now a pastor at the Shepherd of the Hills Lutheran Church in San Francisco, trying to make up for ten years of screwing people over at Wikimedia.

• Google+

Coffee (Chet B. Long)

punch this mouth for graet justice

A snotty little prick since he showed up as a toddler in April 2007, Chet Long joined the Air Force and repeatedly edited Wikipedia while on duty, and got away with it. He tried to become an administrator in June, and was told to fuck right off due to lack of experience. The little fag tried again in 2008 and pulled it off, mostly by sucking Will Boddy's little English crumpet-flavoured cock.

What is there to say? He's a coward and a backstabber, and Wikipedia loves that. Most of his shitting on heads is done sneakily. Other admins bitch and bitch, yet Chet keeps comin' back like a bad Mexican dinner. 2015 was only 2 mos. old, and he was already being screamed at again.

[7] "Abusive admin, arrogant prick, when cornered resorts to snivelling about PTSD from military active duty; attracts the besotted admiration of Ironholds and the intervention of Jonathan Hochman. In short, exudes the same foul stench as John "Flak Jacket" Palmer (whom Hochman also tried, and failed, to protect, if memory serves). So I wouldn't be surprised if…"

Jeffrey O. Gustafson

Jeffrey O. Gustafson was an idiotic Wikipedo, and a self-appointed[8] and arbcom-confirmed [9] rogue admin. His dearest possession was his redlink[10] (and he goes as far as blocking administrators for touching it). He was an administrator who liked to play around with his tools and thought he could get away with it. He'd ban, delete, and protect things at random like a madman. He'd offer no explanation, except for a hint by how a big colorful SHAZAAM! was in all of his signatures. Nuts. Him. Woo.

Then one day a nobody went, bypassed all dispute resolution, went straight to arbcom and complained over some silly matter. Ordinarily arbcom would have banned the nobody who complained, however ArbCom couldn't resist a joke....

He was from Pluto, and his customary practices include deleting his talk page to say that he has read and ignored all messages,[11] edit warring over trivial things because he was paranoid and doesn't want anyone to see his name anywhere in any list on any site,[12], etc. He thinks he knows a lot about speedy deletion policies,[13] but in reality he hasn't even read G12.[14]

He also likes sockpuppets

JoshuaZ

Klingon power!

Josh Zelinsky was a Wikipedia-obsessed heeb aspie college student who hails from the urban wasteland of New Haven, Connecticut. He was once an administrator on Wikipedia before resigning in a futile effort to save face. A self-professed "wang-yanker", Joshua was a noxious presence on numerous AFD and Policy debates. Apparently, he decided that the rules barring ballot stuffing sock puppets (or any other rules) didn't apply to him. Now he has joined the ranks of disgraced ex-admins such as Jtkiefer and Poetlister who abused sock puppets and got fired for it. Unlike Runcorn, JoshuaZ didn't get banned for his sins.

His super secret sock account Gothnic was discovered by Jaranda and it all went to hell from there.

Holy shit, it's McLovin from Superbad! This fuckin' Harry Potter look-alike nevar got laid.

• JoshuaZ's Wikipedia user page
• Wikipedia Review enjoy mocking him
• Josh at the Hivemind
• drop him an email and laugh at him @ [email protected]

Lar

Lar hiding behind Tony the Tiger.

Lar (Larry Pieniazek) was the ultimate Wikipedian. He has power in every Wiki known to man, but he was so nice and friendly that nobody has noticed. He self-describes on Wikipedia Review as "The Infuriatingly Bland One". This makes him very dangerous. He was also obsessed with Lego and toy trains. He has been known to hide behind Tony the Tiger.

He was also a self-proclaimed flirt and leg-humper, which led to him withdrawing from the enwiki Checkuser and Oversight Election in Feb 09.

Then they let him screw with the Obudsman Commission on Meta. I guess they'll never learn. Oops, resigned in 2011! Oops, came back and was resysopped in 2013! Yay, more Lego shit!

Mikkalai

The Wikipedian Mikkalai was a bureaucratic fuck, starting way back in 2004. He also tried to claim his penis was thirty inches long. We hate him because he tried to delete the ED article on WP, the little shit.

He is a pathological liar, but then most of them are. During the ED VFD process, he claimed that he loved Wikipedia and loved humor, a combination which is not only scientifically impossible but also fucking ludicrous. OMG WTF?

Later, he listed an article that had survived two votes for deletion (VfDs) and voted to delete it, even though it had survived twice before. He likes the policy allowing endless VfDs, but not the one against attaching one VFD to two or more different articles.

Weirdly enough, he was blocked in April 2010 as a "sock" of someone else.

Misterdiscreet

A classic example of a deletionist. He takes pride in nominating articles for deletion and constantly patrols the recent changes log (oddly enough, he never reverts vandalism). He believes that a source that isn't a major news organization such as CNN or NBC should be disregarded and that any statement that is not backed up by said organizations should not be on Wikipedia. [15]. Unfortunately in 2010 he posted a bitch on his userpage about "children" running Wikipedia, and then disappeared.

Redwolf24

Redwolf would have been a bureaucrat if he shaved his neckbeard.

Redwolf24 was a bureaucratic fuck who independently banned users for arguing with him. He once ran for bureaucrat, but was fucked by the community. This was because he was a bureaucratic fuck, assnozzle. And hated ED, and tried to vandalize it many times. Amazingly, not even Wikipedia was enough for Redwolf24 to satisfy the needs of his bureaucratic e-penis, so he had to create an account on Uncyclopedia purely for the purpose of further whining and bitching about this website. No srsly, you won't believe this shit! (whoops, sorry, he's gone! Nevermind!)

His pissing and moaning about ED got nowhere, and he quit Wikipedia in 2011. Yawn.

Samuel Banning

Well-named, eh? Much feared admin on TOW, an aspie with no sense of humor and a self-righteous hatred of the lulz. Soldier in the ED and GNAA article wars. Known for blocking without (much) justification, especially schools' IP ranges; his user page has been vandalized more than 100 times. He deleted the Wikipedia article on Bantown because they were 'A bunch of nerds too queer even for Wikipedia'. Quit Wikipedia forever in June 2007, after being butthurt by too many userpage blankings and defacings.

Tanthalas39

Practically forgotten now, but a real PITA in the 2007-2010 period. Dan Zatkovich really enjoyed trolling, and used his admin power to fuck with the hapless. Anyone who was writing good content was subjected to his godlike assholery. Like a chicken, buck buck buck, he pissed off some admins for the last time in 2010. Wouldn't defend himself, he just blanked everything and disappeared. Buck Buck Squawk.

“	"It was pretty clear that he was on Wikipedia just to stir up trouble".	„

Fae

Fae, dreaming of the Queen

Ashley van Haeften, known on Wikipedia as "Fae", had his Wikipedia sysop status stripped in an embarrassing ArbCom case in which it was found that he was aggressive (to the point of being banned from Jimbo's talk page), and overly insistent on including a pornographic link into the biography of a porn star. Fae was also noted for uploading some kinky porn images to Wikimedia Commons, then deleting them out of process when he began to advance at WMUK, the UK branch of the Wikimedia Foundation.

	“	Sometimes Wikipedia's best contributors can also be its worst. This year's highest profile troublemaker was a Wikimedia UK board member (User:Fæ) whose behavior (including alleged legal threats against fellow editors and a semi-nude picture scandal) on Wikipedia and photo hub Wikipedia Commons became the subject of considerable controversy. In the end, Fæ was blocked from editing Wikipedia — but not from Commons, where he's active to this day.	„
	—Mashable.com, identifying the real troublemaker

TBloemink and JurgenNL

This 18 year old was a steward

This teenager was mentored by his victim

Tomas Bloemink (AKA TBloemink) and Jurgen Nieuwland (AKA JurgenNL and Jurgen1996) are Wikipedians from the Netherlands, who were desysopped by the Wikimedia Foundation for IRL stalking a Dutch admin named MoiraMoira. According to the official story, Commons admin JurgenNL (AKA Jurgen Nieuwland, of Develstein College in Zwijndrecht) and Tomas Bloemink traveled over 100 miles together on a train to peep at MoiraMoira's house and scare the shit out of her after abusing information that had been oversighted from Wikipedia. Later, they prank called her home and laughed about her on Wikipedia's IRC channels. They went on to claim that they were in the area for a writing workshop and as part of their geocaching hobby.

The Commons-nerds tried to remove JurgenNL's sysop powers—after an ugly squabble, in which Odder (a steward) tried to "protect" him. TBloemink surrendered his WMF stewardship. The WMF's smallest cock, Philippe Beaudette, threatened MoiraMoira with a site-ban if she sought legal redress for the Foundation putting a fucking teenager in charge of sensitive oversighted data. Lulz were had, silence was enforced, the stupid burned. [16][17]

This embarrassing disaster for the WMF didn't stop there... Jurgen convinced Trijnstel (a steward) to email some deleted photos of Moira Moira to him for unknown reasons.

Gamaliel

Rob Fernandez

Rob "Gamaliel" Fernandez is a longtime Wikipedian who rose to prominence during the Gamergate affair by protecting the SJWs who kept the article in its biased state for the first two years of the controversy. Now some headway is being made into neutralizing the article, due in large part to Fernandez stepping away from the article after an ArbCom case was filed against him while he was still a sitting arbitrator, which resulted in findings that he abused several key Wikipedia policies. To allow their colleague save face, Fernandez stepped down from ArbCom, and stated he would step down from his paid position at Wikimedia DC, the DC chapter of the Wikimedia Foundation, despite Fernandez living and working in Florida. He retained his sysop position, and it turns out he lied about leaving his position at Wikimedia DC. This all came to light after Fernandez tried to nark on David Auerbach, a journalist neutral in the Gamergate circlejerk, to his employers. This infuriated Vordrak, who had been sitting on Fernandez's info, deeming it not necessary to release the info. Until now. Turns out Gamaliel is a low paid librarian in Florida, which explains why he lied about departing Wikimedia DC... he needs the income from your donations. Remember that, the next time you are tempted to donate to Wikipedia.

See also

• He does it for free
• Wikipedia Admin Gallery
• Requests for adminship
• Username Bans
• Arkady

Other links

• Wikipediocracy thread of tossed admins
• "Death spiral" lol

Former Bureaucratic Fucks is part of a series on Wikipedia Visit the Wikipedia Portal for complete coverage.