Jakob Lodwick: Difference between revisions

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[[Image:jak_lodwick.jpg|thumb|right|Don't you already want to punch his face in?]]
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[[File:Jakob Lodwick crop.jpeg|thumb|200px|My raep face, let me show you it]]
[[File:Jakob Lodwick's balls.jpeg|thumb|Moar like Lowdick, amirite?]]
[[Image:jak_lodwick.jpg|thumb|Don't you already want to punch his face in?]]


[[Image:eric_gay_chair.jpg|thumb|right|Eric Lodwick seen here trying to be 110% gay]]
'''Jakob Lodwick''' is known as the founder of Vimeo and the web master of [[College Humor]], the worst site on the internet. Jakob has failed at life over and over again simply because of his arrogant fuck face personality, and inability to stop blogging and camwhoring. He is a class VII hipster, and considers himself to be among the [[1337|elite]] when it comes to technology. He is an avid [[Apple]] [[Fanboy]], and since he does not actually posses any technical or programming knowledge, he makes up for it by blogging about technology and Apple products.


'''Jakob Lodwick''' was born in Baltimore to a crack whore and a heroin addict who sold sex for money. Jakob has a brother named Eric Lodwick who went to Rhode Island for college and has an even more homosexual bone structure to his face. Honestly how these two made it through life without [[AIDS]] is beyond me. Jakob is also known as the founder of Vimeo and the web master of [[College Humor]], the worst site on the internet. Jakob has failed at life over and over again simply because of his arrogant fuck face personality. He is a class VII hipster with obnoxious glasses and considers himself to be amongst the elite when it comes to technology. He is an avid [[Apple]] [[Fanboy]], and since he does not actually posses any technical or programming knowledge, he makes up for it by blogging about technology and Apple products.
Jakob considers himself to be so important as to be an [[internet celebrity]]. Aside from blogging about nerdsex, Jakob's only claim to fame is being the former web designer for College Humor, [[forced meme|claiming to coin the term "lip dub"]], and being [http://techcrunch.com/2007/11/30/vimeo-founder-fired-does-a-bong-hit/ fired from Vimeo]. Jakob is currently enrolled in [[Computer Science 3]] at the University of Phoenix Online.


Jakob considers himself to be so important as to be an [[internet celebrity]]. Jakob's only claim to fame is being asked to be the web designer for College Humor by it's actual founders. Judging by the condition of the site today it is clear Jakob's
== Relationships ==
web design skills are that of a [[13 year old boy]] on myspace. Jakob wishes he got a proper computer science education and can't program in BASIC although I'm sure he made glorious hypercard games on his Apple as a kid. Jakob is currently enrolled in
[[Computer Science 3]] at the University of Phoenix Online.


==Relationships==
Jakob has had many on again off again relationships with men and women. Most recently he was dumped by [[College Sex Bloggers|Julia Allison]]. Jakob fucked up his relationship when he was fired from the company he helped create because he was always high and sat around doing nothing all day.
 
Jakob has had many on again off again relationships with men and women. Most recently he was dumped by Julia Allison. Jakob fucked up his relationship when he was fired from the company he helped create because he was always high and sat around doing nothing all day.
Jakob was an abusive boyfriend who would repeatedly hit Julia, who makes routine appearances on TV. In Julia's blog she once stated how abusive he was, but took down the post when Jakob threatened to kill her dog.
Jakob was an abusive boyfriend who would repeatedly hit Julia, who makes routine appearances on TV. In Julia's blog she once stated how abusive he was, but took down the post when Jakob threatened to kill her dog.


==As a [[blogger]]==
== As a [[blogger]] ==


Jakob Lodwick has a blog where he routinely rants about hipster issues such as art and music. Jake fancies himself a visionary when in fact he's just high on some drug or his own ego or both. Jakob also thinks he's a photographer and posts his horrible pictures on [[Flickr]].
Jakob Lodwick has a blog where he routinely rants about hipster issues such as art and music. Jake fancies himself a visionary when in fact he's just high on some drug or his own ego or both. Jakob also thinks he's a photographer and posts his horrible pictures on [[Flickr]]. He is known for [http://getoffmyinternets.net/jakob-lodwick-quitting-internets/ quitting the internet] [http://getoffmyinternets.net/gomipress/2010/03/16/jakob-lodwick-leaving-internets-again/ at least] [http://getoffmyinternets.net/gomipress/2009/10/20/jake-takes-a-break/ annually], and [[poser|posing]] with drug paraphernalia in {{wayback|http://jakoblodwick.com/post/20580115|20071213145925|title=his flounce messages}}.


==Drug habits==
== Drug habits ==


Jakob Lodwick is a ferocious user of drugs. He has been known to use heroin, cocaine and pot. Jakob was fired from the company he created because he became so involved in drugs that his friends and co-workers complained to their boss about him. Eventually he was fired, which ended up costing him his girlfriend and his credibility. Jakob is now living in his friend Reggie's apartment while he creates a new scheme to get rich quick, since he blew all his money he made off the sale of [[College Humor]] on drugs.
Jakob Lodwick is a ferocious user of drugs. He has been known to use heroin, cocaine and pot. Jakob was fired from the company he created because he became so involved in drugs that his friends and co-workers complained to their boss about him. Eventually he was fired, which ended up costing him his girlfriend and his credibility. Jakob is now living in his friend Reggie's apartment while he creates a new scheme to get rich quick, since he blew all his money he made off the sale of [[College Humor]] on drugs.


[[Image:jakoblodwickquits-thumb.jpg|thumb|right|Jakob Lodwick seen here on a drug binge.]]
[[Image:jakoblodwickquits-thumb.jpg|thumb|[[Ripper|Hardcore]]]]


It is a well known fact that Jakob's friends humor him into thinking he is popular. Jakob's current project is a web site (that's all he knows how to make) that he will try to get venture capital for to spend all the money on more drugs.
It is a well known fact that Jakob's friends humor him into thinking he is popular. Jakob's current project is a web site (that's all he knows how to make) that he will try to get venture capital for to spend all the money on more drugs.


Like all hipsters, Jakob Lodwick insists that he is on the cutting edge of "cool", but through reading his blogs it's obvious he's just really insecure.
Like all hipsters, Jakob Lodwick insists that he is on the cutting edge of "cool", but through reading his blogs it's obvious he's just really insecure. Last Thursday, Jakob announced on his blog that his life had "changed alot" and he is [[drugs|"taking a vacation from blogging"]] for a month. [[rehab|EXACTLY. ONE. MONTH.]] Shortly after this, he quit the Internet again.
 
*UPDATE: Recently Jakob announced on his blog that his life had "changed alot" and he is [[drugs|"taking a vacation from blogging"]] for a month. [[rehab|EXACTLY. ONE. MONTH.]]


==Life Accomplishments==  
== Life Accomplishments ==  


'''Lib Dubbing'''
;Lip Dubbing:


Jakob claimed to invent "Lib Dubbing", which is making a video where you sing a song then overlay the original song over yourself singing it. He tried to pass it off as a new trend that he created, believing that it would usher in a new era in [[Web 2.0]] and that would cement
Jakob claimed to invent "[[WHERE IS THE ARTICLE?|Lip Dubbing]]", which is making a video where you sing a song then overlay the original song over yourself singing it. He tried to pass it off as a new trend that he created, believing that it would usher in a new era in [[Web 2.0]] and that would cement him in as an [[internet celebrity]]. However after several of his hipster friends jumped on his bandwagon, it was revealed that he was not in fact the first person to film themselves singing to a song with the original song dubbed in. As a matter of fact, he admitted he wasn't as clever as he tried to pass himself off as being after people mentioned that there had been several instances of "lip dubbing" prior to his. But because the prior lip dubbing didn't have some trendy faggot name, he didn't know about it. <s>His claim to fame for yet another "internet trend" was erased from internet history.</s> He is now regarded by the all knowing [[TOW|Wikipedia]] as the person who invented the term.
him in as an [[internet celebrity]]. However after several of his hipster friends jumped on his bandwagon, it was revealed that he was not in fact the first person to film themselves singing to a song with the original song dubbed in. As a matter of fact, he admitted he
wasn't as clever as he tried to pass himself off as being after people mentioned that there had been several instances of "lib dubbing" prior to his. Bur because the prior lib dubbing didn't have some trendy faggot name, he didn't know about it. His claim to fame for yet another "internet trend" was erased from internet history.


[[Image:jak_convo_gay.jpg|thumb|right|"and then I held Eric's balls like this and we looked at each other and smiled, we smiled and made out for hours.. it was the best night of my life" - Jakob Lodwick]]
[[Image:jak_convo_gay.jpg|thumb|"and then I held Eric's balls like this and we looked at each other and smiled, we smiled and made out for hours.. it was the best night of my life" &mdash;Jakob Lodwick]]


'''Web Design'''
;Web Design:


Jakob considers being a web designer to be the equivalent of being the Pope. Jakob has been the web designer of several shitty sites and blogs that only other hipsters such as himself actually appreciate.
Jakob considers being a web designer to be the equivalent of being the Pope. Jakob has been the web designer of several shitty sites and blogs that only other hipsters such as himself actually appreciate.


'''Riding coat tails'''
;Riding coat tails:


Pretty much all of Jakob's life accomplishments have been derived from someone else's success that he latches on to and feeds off of. He has never actually accomplished anything meaningful himself.                             
Pretty much all of Jakob's life accomplishments have been derived from someone else's success that he latches on to and feeds off of. He has never actually accomplished anything meaningful himself.                             


[[Image:jak_and_crew.jpg|thumb|right|Jakob Lodwick seen here flaming in New York City.]]
;"Like" button:
 
Jakob claims that the "like" button, popularized by [[Facebook]], actually originated at Vimeo:
{{embedded tweet|https://twitter.com/jakelodwick/status/391538621443895297|username=Jake Lodwick|@=jakelodwick|tweet=AFAIK, the web's first "Like" button was on Vimeo.
<br>
First we had "digs":  http://vimeo.com/forums/topic:34
Which became "likes":  http://vimeo.com/forums/topic:171|date=5:17 AM - 19 Oct 2013|retweets=10|favorites=15}}


==Related Articles==
== Related Articles ==
[[Internet]]


[[MySpace]]
* [[Internet]]
* [[MySpace]]
* [[Hipster]]


[[Hipster]]
== External Links ==


==External Links==
* {{wayback|http://obeastiality.com/|20071212234125|title=Jakob Lodwick's blog}} at [[archive.org]]
[http://www.obeastiality.com - Jakob Lodwick's blog]
* {{wayback|http://jakoblodwick.com/|title=Jakob Lodwick's other blog}} at [[archive.org]]
* {{wayback|http://jakobandjulia.com/|title=The shared blog}} at [[archive.org]] where they blogged about how much they were in love. Skip the captures after [[Valentine's Day|February 14]], 2008 when the content was deleted
* [http://guestofaguest.com/new-york/nightlife/best-2k-i-ever-spent-roflcon-party-when-tech-nerds-play-with-alcohol Jake Lodwick] at [[ROFLcon]]
* http://jakelodwick.com/
* {{tumblr|wwjld|What would Jake Lodwick do}}


[http://www.jakoblodwick.com - Jakob Lodwick's blog (this one is for the Google scoring :) ]


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{{Web 2.0}}
 
[[Category:People|Lodwick, Jakob]]

Latest revision as of 06:45, 2 December 2015