Registration has been disabled and the moderation extension has been turned off.
Contact an admin on Discord or EDF if you want an account. Also fuck bots.

Crysis 2: Difference between revisions

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
imported>DekoMan91
This game is my personal fail of 2011. Please make it more lulzy and keep it updated with future fails of Crytek and it cokcsucking fans.
 
imported>Archivist
"the the" -> the
 
(16 intermediate revisions by 6 users not shown)
Line 1: Line 1:
[[Image:Crysis2Cover01.jpg|thumb|The scrapped Beta Box Cover]]
[[Image:Crysis2Cover01.jpg|thumb|The scrapped Beta Box Cover]]
[[File:Atari Lynx 1.jpg|thumb|The best version.]]
Crysis 2 is the follow-up to the [[Shit|masterpiece]] [[Crysis]], which [[Obvious|surprisingly]] is much worse than that. The fags at [[Nazi|Crytek]] thought it would be much better to remove everything that made the first game somewhat tolerable, like [[Lie|awesome controls, awesome graphics, quicksave/load function and great A.I]].
Crysis 2 is the follow-up to the [[Shit|masterpiece]] [[Crysis]], which [[Obvious|surprisingly]] is much worse than that. The fags at [[Nazi|Crytek]] thought it would be much better to remove everything that made the first game somewhat tolerable, like [[Lie|awesome controls, awesome graphics, quicksave/load function and great A.I]].


== Storyline==
== Storyline==


The world has been taken over by the aliens, which look nothing like the ones in the first game, and now you're going to rape their asses in [[Jew York City|New York]]. You're playing as Alcatraz, the "Asshole in the Suit" who [[Boring|gets orders, kicking some ass and then gets more orders he has to complete]]. The problem is that he has to do that with consolized controls and a shitty A.I. that stands in his way, making his journey to the [[I am disappoint|shitty game ending]] a real pain in the ass.<br>
The world has been taken over by the aliens, which look nothing like the ones in the first game, and now you're going to rape their asses in [[Jew York City|New York]]. You're playing as Alcatraz, the "Asshole in the Suit" who [[Boring|gets orders he has to complete, kicking some ass and then gets more orders]]. The problem is that he has to do that with consolized controls and a shitty A.I. that stands in his way, making his journey to the [[I am disappoint|shitty game ending]] a real pain in the ass.<br>
At the beginning [[Nigger|Prophet]] dies to make sure there is nothing left that makes you think you're playing a sequel to Crysis and then you're killing aliens, killing aliens,shaking your cock and kill more aliens. There's some other bullshit happening but [[nobody gives a fuck]] about that. At the end you're confonted with a [[Over 9000|spammed]] line of heavy alien solders to make the finale look harder than it really is and then you [[Winrar|win]].<br>
At the beginning [[Nigger|Prophet]] dies to make sure there is nothing left that makes you think you're playing a sequel to Crysis and then you're killing aliens, killing aliens, swinging your cock and kill more aliens. There's some other bullshit happening but [[nobody gives a fuck]] about that. At the end you're confonted with a [[Over 9000|spammed]] line of heavy alien soldiers to make the finale look harder than it really is and then you [[Winrar|win]].<br>
After you've completed this painful trip you can now be happy that [[There Will Be Blood|there hopefully won't be a sequel]].
After you've completed this painful trip you can now be happy that <s>[[There Will Be Blood|there hopefully won't be a sequel]]</s> [[Crysis 3]] is to be released [http://www.crysis.com/crysis3 February 2013!]


==Multiplayer==
==Multiplayer==


[[Image:C2_CODRippoff.jpg|thumb|Heven't I seen this already?]]
[[Image:C2_CODRippoff.jpg|thumb|Haven't we seen this already?]]
Because [[everyone]] else did, Crytek also desiced to make the multiplayer for Crysis 2 a [[Call of Duty]] rip-off by stealing its system of killstreaks and [[Shit nobody cares about|other shit]]. However, their tactic to get most of the [[12 year old]] COD players to play Crysis 2 failed because even those retards have the ability to differentiate between [[bullshit]] and [[Twilight|extreme bullshit]].<br>
Because [[everyone]] else did, Crytek also decided to make the multiplayer for Crysis 2 a [[Call of Duty]] rip-off by stealing its system of killstreaks and [[Shit nobody cares about|other shit]]. However, their plan to get most of the [[12 year old]] COD players to play Crysis 2 failed because even those retards have the ability to differentiate between [[bullshit]] and [[Twilight|extreme bullshit]].<br>
The Crysis 2 multiplayer servers are only allowed for a max player count of 16 players, which is [[fail]] because every [[No life|no life expert]] knows that a multiplayer is only fun on [[At least 100|128 player servers]].<br>
The Crysis 2 multiplayer servers are only allowed for a maximum player count of 16 players, which is [[fail]] because every [[No life|no life expert]] knows that a multiplayer is only fun on [[At least 100|128 player servers]].<br>
Till the patch to the 1.2 version of Crysis 2 everyone was able to play on the servers, even people who were clever enough to [[BitTorrent|download]] the game illegally showing the massive fail [[EA]] and Crytek are made of.
Till the patch to the 1.2 version of Crysis 2 everyone was able to play on the servers, even people who were clever enough to [[BitTorrent|download]] the game illegally, showing the massive fail [[EA]] and Crytek are made of.<br>
In [[2012]], the only ones that are still playing the multiplayer of this game are [[cheat]]ers that can't get banned because of  missing anti-cheat systems and admin kick functions, [[12 year old]]s that are raging about the hackers, ear raping you to death, and [[Santa Claus]].


==The DX11 Drama==
==The DX11 Drama==


Shortly after the the game was released, many [[Fantards|gamers]] were [[BAWWW|pissed about]] the missing DX10 and DX11 support of Crysis 2. They all think that better [[graphics]] can make Crysis 2 a much better game, even tho' the game itself is already a steaming pile of [[shit]].<br>
Shortly after the game was released, many [[Fantards|gamers]] were [[BAWWW|pissed about]] the missing DX10 and DX11 support of Crysis 2. They all think that better [[graphics]] can make Crysis 2 a much better game, even though the game itself is already a steaming pile of [[shit]].<br>
On the 27th March 2011, [http://pixelsmashers.com/?p=8830 rumors that a DX11 patch is coming] spread out and many threads that had to do with these were [[baleted]] instantly by the butthurted folks at Crytek.
On the 27th March 2011, [http://pixelsmashers.com/?p=8830 rumors that a DX11 patch is coming] spread out and many threads that had to do with these were [[baleted]] instantly by the butthurted folks at Crytek.


However the community won and on the 29th June 2011 a DX11 patch was released making changes only [[You|fags]] would care about. The game still sucks afterall.
However the community won and on the 29th June 2011 a DX11 patch was released making changes only [[You|fags]] would care about. The game still sucks balls after all.
 
 
<center><gallery>
Image:crysis2dxcomment.jpg
Image:crysis2dxcomment2.jpg
Image:crysis2dxcomment3.jpg
Image:crysis2dxcomment4.jpg|How everyone should have done it in the first place.
</gallery></center>
 


<center>{{frame|<youtube>udwN0vwGpCI</youtube>
<center>{{frame|<youtube>udwN0vwGpCI</youtube>
<center>'''[[Dumbfuck|So the whole time you BAAAWed just for these little changes?]]'''</center>|border=#6D8ABC|background=#6D8ABC}}</center>
<center>'''[[Dumbfuck|So the whole time you BAAAWed just for these little changes?]]'''</center>|border=#6D8ABC|background=#6D8ABC}}</center>


==Gallery==


{{cg|Gallery of Butthurt|crysis2gallery|center|<gallery>
{{cg|Gallery|crysis2gallery2|center|<gallery>
Image:crysis2dxcomment.jpg|That won't make the game any better asstard.
Image:Crysis2_Tactics.jpg|Why think when the game tells you what to do?
Image:crysis2dxcomment2.jpg|Yes we don't care about your [[faggotry]], too.
Image:Crysis2_Levels.jpg|Every level summed up.
Image:crysis2dxcomment3.jpg|Beware of the [[fanbois]].
Image:C2_Rule34.jpg|[[Rule 34|Rule...]].
Image:crysis2dxcomment4.jpg|How everyone should have done it in the first place.
Image:C2_Rule34_2.jpg|[[Rule 34|...34]]
</gallery>|<gallery>
Image:FPS_summed_up2.png|Crysis 2 summed up.
Image:MLP_Crysis2.png|If it exists, there is a [[My Little Pony|MPL]] crossover of it.
</gallery>}}
</gallery>}}


==Videos==
==Videos==


<center>{{Frame|{{fv|crysisvids|background-color: #6D8ABC;|font-weight: bold;|
<center>{{Frame|{{fv|crysisvids|background-color: #6D8ABC;|font-weight: bold;
<youtube>WaPAm31bISw</youtube>|
|<youtube>-_IKqjb9TRY</youtube><center>'''The new engine can determine how [[lonely]] you are.'''</center>
<youtube>jyZrh29JJEg</youtube>|
|<youtube>WaPAm31bISw</youtube>
<youtube>OAUaQe__6h8</youtube>}}|border=#6D8ABC|background=#6D8ABC}}</center>
|<youtube>jyZrh29JJEg</youtube>
|<youtube>OAUaQe__6h8</youtube>
}}|border=#6D8ABC|background=#6D8ABC}}</center>


==Related Articles==
==Related Articles==
*[[Bullshit]]
*[[Crysis]], the [[First|prequel]].
*[[Gamer]]
*[[Crysis 3]], the sequel.
*[[Shit]]
*[[Bullshit]], what this game is.
*[[Butthurt]]
*[[Butthurt]], what all the people are after buying this game.
*[[Noob]]
*[[Nazi]], the developers.
*[[Nazi]]
*[[EA]], the publishers.
*[[EA]]
*[[Lies]], required for a good marketing campaign.
*[[Lie]]
 
*[[Gay]]
{{gaming}}

Latest revision as of 20:42, 19 June 2016

The scrapped Beta Box Cover
The best version.

Crysis 2 is the follow-up to the masterpiece Crysis, which surprisingly is much worse than that. The fags at Crytek thought it would be much better to remove everything that made the first game somewhat tolerable, like awesome controls, awesome graphics, quicksave/load function and great A.I.

Storyline

The world has been taken over by the aliens, which look nothing like the ones in the first game, and now you're going to rape their asses in New York. You're playing as Alcatraz, the "Asshole in the Suit" who gets orders he has to complete, kicking some ass and then gets more orders. The problem is that he has to do that with consolized controls and a shitty A.I. that stands in his way, making his journey to the shitty game ending a real pain in the ass.
At the beginning Prophet dies to make sure there is nothing left that makes you think you're playing a sequel to Crysis and then you're killing aliens, killing aliens, swinging your cock and kill more aliens. There's some other bullshit happening but nobody gives a fuck about that. At the end you're confonted with a spammed line of heavy alien soldiers to make the finale look harder than it really is and then you win.
After you've completed this painful trip you can now be happy that there hopefully won't be a sequel Crysis 3 is to be released February 2013!

Multiplayer

Haven't we seen this already?

Because everyone else did, Crytek also decided to make the multiplayer for Crysis 2 a Call of Duty rip-off by stealing its system of killstreaks and other shit. However, their plan to get most of the 12 year old COD players to play Crysis 2 failed because even those retards have the ability to differentiate between bullshit and extreme bullshit.
The Crysis 2 multiplayer servers are only allowed for a maximum player count of 16 players, which is fail because every no life expert knows that a multiplayer is only fun on 128 player servers.
Till the patch to the 1.2 version of Crysis 2 everyone was able to play on the servers, even people who were clever enough to download the game illegally, showing the massive fail EA and Crytek are made of.
In 2012, the only ones that are still playing the multiplayer of this game are cheaters that can't get banned because of missing anti-cheat systems and admin kick functions, 12 year olds that are raging about the hackers, ear raping you to death, and Santa Claus.

The DX11 Drama

Shortly after the game was released, many gamers were pissed about the missing DX10 and DX11 support of Crysis 2. They all think that better graphics can make Crysis 2 a much better game, even though the game itself is already a steaming pile of shit.
On the 27th March 2011, rumors that a DX11 patch is coming spread out and many threads that had to do with these were baleted instantly by the butthurted folks at Crytek.

However the community won and on the 29th June 2011 a DX11 patch was released making changes only fags would care about. The game still sucks balls after all.



So the whole time you BAAAWed just for these little changes?

Gallery

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Videos

The new engine can determine how lonely you are.

Related Articles

Crysis 2 is part of a series on

Gaming

Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.