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Zoella

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This person is a sick fuck!

They should never be trusted by anyone!

Possible side-effects will include at least one of these:

  1. HIV/AIDS
  2. Bestiality
  3. Cuckoldry

Zoella or HAHAHA YOU ARE THIRD PLACE is a money-hungry, book-writing girl from La-cock, England.

She has amassed over 13 million makeup tutorial cucks and horny 14-year-old boys that subscribe to her channel and fall for every single shit she gives to them. She gets an average of a million views but is losing popularity slowly. According to the Telegraph, she was Britain's most influential Tweeters in 2013 somehow. But due to old fans leaving and desperate for content, she is a generic cancerous youtube nowadays.

She currently resides in Brighton like a posh twat with fucked up gums Alfie Dayes.

She has another obnoxious brother called Joe Sugg or ThatcherJoe whom was friends with Alfie before he met Zoella like wwtwtf.

Shit she has done

I LIKE READING BOOKS


I LOVE READING BOOKS OKAY!!1!


WHSmith sold her book too.


Seeing "My Book" being printed (not you're book BEGONE THOT)


   
 
I dreamed a dream in times gone by I WOULD WRITE A BOOK!!1


 


 
 

—Jewella said she wrote a book

   
 
My Dream has been to write a book, I have been a bookworm since (cut) the minute I could read is all I did.

ALL I DID WAS READ (cut) books are still to me so special n' so important when I was younger I used to write short stories all the time (cut). All my friends would be out playing and I would come home and "sit on my computer" (cut) and I was writing a book. It was just something that I loved to do.
 


 
 

   
 
So... Penguin contacted me a while back and said HEY! have you ever, you know writing a book. And I was like (cut "OMG") of course (stuttering/ thinking about next lie) Like I would absolutely love to write a book. I would love to have something that i've done m y s e l f um... that you know has come from my brain and gone into pages and people could buy.
 

 
 


In reality, she just asked some kid with a netbook to write a shitty book in Google Docs because he couldn't afford Microsoft Word.

MERRY CHRISTMAS


im sorry and you must accept my apology its because im a gorl


he's right you know


Zoella as a last ditch effort to get money thought about stealing fan's mommy credit card money. BUT HOW?

Yes! just like my book, let's make overpriced junk!

So she made an advent calendar for Christmas that cost 50GBP or 65USD that only had 12 doors filled with Basic Bitch Items like a furball for the furry community. A pen, mendable cookie cutter, and a spray made from mixing Benzoylmethylecgonine and Water.

See Also

Her channel

Her brother's channel (slightly better than zoella and gum's channel)

Fucked gum's channel

Zoella is part of a series on YouTube.

Visit the YouTube Portal