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Zeta Toy
A zeta toy is a dildo which mimics the exact shape and size of an animal's cock. Popular among furries who, lulled into an entirely false sense of normality by the echo chamber that is the Internets, have dropped all pretense and coyness with regard to their zoophilic tendencies.
Dog and horse cocks are the most popular zeta toys, but pigs, bears, boar, oxen, chinchillas, orangutans, echidna, deer, mice, mouse deer, and blue whales (whose penises are roughly 2m long - how furfags expect to hide one of those from their parents is beyond us) are not unheard of. The purchase of a zeta toy is the "skip" portion of a furry's inevitable hop, skip and jump towards the sexual abuse of domesticated animals.
Customer Appreciation
—E-Mail: [email protected]. |
Inventors
Zeta toys were invented in the late 1990s by a couple of huge gay furfags. Not content with just donning fursuits and fucking each other in the ass, Brownbear and his buttbuddy began to sculpt their own sex toys off of their lovingly mongled dog, Roy.
When other furfags heard about the dog mongler toy, they began to beg for one of their own. Thus Zeta Creations (aka "Zetapaws") was created. To this day the most popular animal dicks they make are the animals zoophiles tend to abuse every day such as Horses and Dogs.
Now the pair are so swamped with orders from dog fuckers too cheap to buy a real dog that shipping times have slowed to a crawl. The fags who have waited almost year for their lovingly handcrafted animal dicks complaining very loudly between blowing Fido and taking it in the ass. The waiting is only going to get worse, however, as one of the dog rapists running the show has gotten heart failure which will mean only one furfag will be around to make toys in the future.
Some furfags are threatening lawsuits if they don't deliver on the promise of sweet sweet horsecock by sending their toys out soon. People have begun asking for refunds and defecting to rival furfags. If the dying dog mongler doesn't kill the company, then the slowness of the living one will.
Galleries
Considering many of the animals (lions, tigers, bears, Oh my!) are too dangerous to go anywhere near, we wonder how they managed to make accurately-shaped dildos in the first place.
Gallery A: The Toys Themselves
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ElypseArt.com Silicon Dildos With Inflatable Knot http://www.elypseart.com
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Pig.
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Crocodile
Gallery B: The Toys in Action
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PROTIP: Don't show your face in these photos.
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Even castration doesnt save them from their twisted way.
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'Orca' model is 15 inches long.
See Also
- Furry
- Tentacle rape
- Dildo
- Giant dildo of death
- Bestiality
- Mecha-Dildo
- Bad Dragon
- Zoophilia.net
- Zetaforum: Their forum, their horrifying forum.
Zeta Toy is part of a series on Visit the Furfaggotry Portal for complete coverage. |
Zeta Toy is part of a series on Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage. |
Featured article December 8 & 9, 2012 | ||
Preceded by Fleshlight |
Zeta Toy | Succeeded by Body Pillows |