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Weird Al Yankovic

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Weird Al smiles through the pain.
10/10 would dare to be stupid

Weird Al Yankovic is a lyrical troll best known for ruining decades worth of overly beloved trashy pop songs. Where as media whores and bottom rate hanger-ons rely on unsubstantiated claims of BFF status with super stars Weird Al has personally snorted cocaine with every A-lister. Over nearly forty years he has achieved many feats including the destruction of MTV, lighting Michael Jackson's hair on fire, and outing hugboxing rap-ists.

Weird Al is one of the few celebrities who are a vegetarian, and according to inside sources, he attempts, like all dumb-ass vegetarians, to guilt people into becoming vegetarian as well. He also claims to be the inventor of the "Twinkie Wiener sandwich", which in itself makes him batshit insane. It is believed that parodying shitty music could be some sort of immortality elixir, explaining why Weird Al has been around so long. And if that turns out to be true, that's fucking copyrighted to ED.

TL;DR: all parody songs that you hear on the Internet, regardless, were always made by Weird Al. (See Below for Proof.)

Humble Beginnings

One fateful April day in 1981, Weird Al got his big break on on the Dr. Demento show on KMET 94.7, an LA-based station that was popular with stoners and hippies. KMET was itself a lulzy station that preferred playing less mainstream rock music, as well as investigative journalism about why so many potheads were dying from smoking weed sprayed with DDT. The song hit the syndicated airwaves in May, and the rest is history. And even though you were convinced he was a Jew, he's somehow not.

Fans

Weird Al photographed last Thursday with former Beatle and cripple-fucker Paul McCartney AKA Squirrel Boy.

Among highly edgy keyboard warriors Weird Al is considered shit due to most of his music reminding them of being in highschool. Examples include:

   
 
He has parodied every song ever from at least 100 years ago to now, with the exception of any actually good songs, most likely because any changes can only make them better, regardless of what they are. Weird Al is goddamn good at hilariously renaming the songs for his parodies, "American Idiot" becomes "Canadian Idiot", GENIUS!! The only redeeming quality he has is that fans are expecting Weird Al to create a parody of Chocolate Rain for his next album.
 

 
 

—Unfunny Faggot

If you happen to encounter such edgelords in the wild be sure to remind them of their favorite website's complete failure to produce anyone of notable fame. It is also recommended such treatment be followed by inquiring what their favorite youtube comedian is. Other examples of his "fans" are the annoying twats who just LOOOOVE repeating lyrics from his "classic songs". These virgins freak out whenever a new song is made, for example: when White and Nerdy came out, there were mass circle jerks held by nerds the world over.

   
 
Son, Al Yankovich blew his brains out in the late '80s after people stopped buying his records.
 

 
 

Hank Hill, propane and propane accessory salesman.

Weird Al raeps the English language

YOU SUCK!

Lol, Wikipedia is for nerds.

The Wikipedia page on Atlantic Records is constantly being vandalized with the words "YOU SUCK!" like in the White & Nerdy video. Typically, this results in recieving the banhammer and the page being semi-protected. ED's article on it, on the other hand, is very factual, and is in no way, shape, or form trying to trick you.

Lol, Offended

Weird Al is the original Eminem, except he doesn’t suck balls.

Weird Al music can be used for trolling those who take their band too srsly. Also Used to cause controversial rage and drama between different communities, when truly, no one gives a shit.

Here we have a butthurt Canaedian (named TORONTO CP) bitching about the lyrics in Al’s song “Canadian Idiot,” crying about how “Americans know little about their northern neighbours.” Again, no one cares, but still very lulzy.

Weird Al’s resurrection of “Gangsta’s Paradise” offended rapper “Coolio” because he found out that Weird Al's hack job of the Stevie Wonder song "Pastime Paradise" was better than Coolio's shit attempt of what he dared to call music. So, in true nigger fashion, he threw a tantrum and caused lulz and drama backstage at the 1996 Grammy awards with this rant:

   
 
I ain't with that. No. I didn't give it any sanction. I think that my song was too serious. It ain't like it was "Beat It." "Beat It" was a party song. But I think "Gangsta's Paradise" represented something more than that. And I really, honestly and truly, don't appreciate him desecrating the song like that. I think he's wrong for that, because his record company asked for my permission, and I said no. But they did it anyway. I couldn't stop him. But you know, more power to him. I hope they sell a lot of records. Just stay away from me.
 

 
 

Coolio, "Gangsta’s paradise is SRS BUSINESS"

He also created a song where he bitches about Weird Al for a segment of the song. Quoted in the link above. The rapper wanted the song to be taken down, but it wasn’t, turns out it wasn’t even his song in the first place, lol. Still Coolio had no problem cashing Weird Al's check for using the song, though it's not surprising for another nigger to cash a free check from the white man.

   
 
weird al does suck he sucks ass like the wesal song is soooooooo creul
 

 
 

— “msryan2008 on YouTube” - "Expressing her hate for fursecution"

The effectiveness of this tactic is unfortunately limited by the obviously lulzy intent of using the song. If the target finds the song funny, you're doing it wrong and simply suggest you try other Methods. However, if you are successful tell them to follow the instructions on the banner above.

The One Who Started It ALL

It is in fact, no doubt, that every parody song you hear to on the internets was created by Weird Al, unless it's shitty. It will whether it’s himself Weird Al Yankovic or his evil twin, Weird Al Yankovich. Music sharing sites are full of these! You could spread the word and set people straight, or you could just let it go. Here are some examples of his unknown masterpieces:

Weenie In A Bottle

I'm A Wigga

The Gay Barbie Song

Elmo's Got A Gun

I Like Small Butts

With Legs Wide Open

Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep

The Devil Went Down to Jamaica

Cats in the Kettle

My Little Pony guest starring

Weird Al Yankovic also guest-star voice acted as Cheese Sandwich on a Season 4 episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Fat, greasy basement-dwelling bronies creamed themselves upon finding out that their favorite song troll had voice acted on the shit little girls' TV show they think is the single greatest thing since porn and the Holocaust. As if MLP and bronies couldn't get any worse.

Teen Titans Noooooooo!

Weird Al guest stars as the universal tyrant Darkseid. Funny for about 3 seconds if you're old enough to know who he is. If not, the best part is the cough drops joke and that's it because he fails as hard as his movie UHF did with movie goers. Despite all this, he's still a more relevant celebrity than Tara Strong and can fill a room with paying customers as compared to the autistic, fat, greasy Bronies that Tara Strong has to bribe with a free gift and her droopy ass tits to come see her at Bronycon.


   
 
Weird Al is the most evil soul in the universe
 

 
 

—Darkseid


Gallery

See Also

External Links

Weird Al Yankovic is part of a series on

Music

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Featured article August 6 & 7, 2014
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