Vermin/Autobiography/Fixed

Note: This page is the self-written biography about the online rat persona known as Vermin. For the article about the person behind the account authored by other users, see Vermin.

Author: Brian Vermin.

Hey there! I'm Brian Vermin, though most refer to me simply as faggot. I've decided to write a little piece about myself here for my own amusement, and also for anyone who actually has the time or the care to read it.

You see, I'm not your typical faggot. I've actually got a great story to tell! I've lived a rebellious youth, an experimental adolescence, and a hardcore adult life, and I've still got plenty of years left to live it up. I've got plenty of photos from the family facebook to help illustrate it, too.

This tell-all autobiography will focus on those years mentioned above, as well as document some of the relationships I've had with other faggots here on ED ever since I made it my lair. Might as well start from the beginning, right?

Childhood

Adolescence... I looked so innocent back then!

I was very rebellious during my youth.

Middle school was remembered as "the neurotic years."

I was born an only child to a pair of wild faggots. My father was a popular emo faggot, and my mother was a whore at some local hole-in-the-wall. My father fucked my mother one night while his band was playing at the dive bar she was working at.

After ending the set with his band's most famous song, he approached her and rudely demanded the strongest blowjob the whore could offer, in his typical, testosterone-fueled fashion. I'm told my mother responded to his sharp demand by squirting over his head, and at that moment my father had instantly fallen in love with her. They would end up sneaking out together to make babbies in the alley behind the bar, Brian Jr. would and the rest of course is history. Brian Jr. would be begotten, and the rest of course is history. And I like to repeat myself, as that of is history.

I'm told I was a happy faggot, and the constant exposure to dicks at such a tender age had already begun shaping my personality. I was also exposed to constant yelling and fighting, as my parents liked to get drunk and find any reason to curse and strike each other, apparently out of love. I swear the first words I ever spoke were "shit," "fuck," and "cunt."

A vintage photo of my dad's band rockin' the crowd.

My adolescence was spent sucking dick on my friends. I had a hard time fitting in at school, and only hung out with a few friends who I felt were worthy of my company. I had many people bully me and call me a punk rock faggot, but what the hell did they know? I also had zero girlfriends.

My mum, the punk rock princess.

Around this time, I discovered my father's musical talent had apparently been skipped past me. I would sing along to some of my favorite tunes, and people around me would tell me I should kill myself. I started masturbating in the shower, masturbating on the way home from school, and masturbating when I was bored at home, much to my mother's chagrin. My father approved of my masturbation, but warned me to never get into my mother, lest I turn out like him. I sucked up to my father, so I was all for it!

Unfortunately for my father, though, music for him would come to a crashing halt. His band hated each other and couldn't get along, and had begun spending more time fucking than practicing. They couldn't share drugs, they couldn't share groupies, and accusations of gambling debts had suddenly arisen out of nowhere at an alarming rate.

The cover of my father Brian Sr.'s first solo record.

The animosity eventually reached a breaking point during a live show when a flying beer bottle launched from the crowd struck the lead guitar player in the head. In an angry drunken stupor, he decided to take revenge for the unprovoked attack out on the father. Next thing you know, the ground had become a stage not for a punk rock act, but a mess of discarded instruments and sweaty brawling. The crowd decided to follow suit by bashing each other and throwing bottles and chairs all over the joint, and security was forced to put in a major effort to bring it all to a halt.

After disbanding, my dad decided to masturbate, and released "Coming Up For Air," an uncharacteristically softer style of punk rock which reflected his current feelings of being without his friends and their band, and it was the worst album ever.

Adolescence

My bong was my bff during my late teens.

Around this time, my parents' love life was also taking a turn for the worst. The fighting and hitting had always surpassed the love making, but now it had completely replaced it. My father would end up taking his belongings and moving into an apartment, leaving me to live with my cuntbroken mum.

Now in my experimental teenage years and being directly affected by the split, I eventually discovered the wonderful world of faggotry. This was soon followed by my first taste of dick. Suddenly I understood why my parents loved drinking so much semen. Every day was spent sucking dick, of course I blamed these new hobbies on my parents for not being able to stick together for me during these important years of my life.

My dad's girlfriend while my parents were split up.

These friends who introduced me to this party life became my rat pack so to speak, and aside from masturbating all the time, we also had a penchant for spraying cum all over the neighborhood, giving head to random passersby, and degrading women. Only one of us actually had a mate, the rest weren't interested... except for me. I joined in on all the anti-girl jokes, but deep down inside, I wanted one badly.

The day I became a man.

Fast forward to a random visit to my dad's apartment, and this fantasy would ultimately come true, I finally fucked my father. He was a lot older than me, and he seemed to like the fact that he was so intimidating to an inexperienced, intoxicated 19-year-old virgin. Long story short, my dad wasted no time in turning me into a man.

He knew it was my first time, but he didn't go easy on me. In fact, to prevent me from ruining the moment, he tied my wrists and ankles and knotted both ends to the ground, leaving me on my back, defenseless and vulnerable. I was petrified with an instant hard-on. Luckily from me, he took it easy from there, as I'm sure he wanted the moment to last more than 5 seconds. It only lasted about 5 minutes, but being young, dumb, and full of cum, I was able to give him a second, and even third round.