User talk:Bitchiest

Welcome, Bitchiest

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TKN Bot 03:31, 10 February 2013 (EST)

Draft

Camouflaged Redneck.

Kelly is the world's oldest drama whore, clocking in at 105 years old at the time of this posting. She lives in a tastefully decorated cardboard box in the most exclusive trailer park in Texas. When not engaged in her very important midlife career of helping drunks get into their cars at three am, she supplements her addiction to Oxycontin by working as a confidential informant.

She is raising a collection of fine young ladies, all by different fathers, who even contribute to the family income.

Her chief hobby, when not trying to find free money, is collecting pre-teen packet kiddies, sucking up to an assortment of infamous skids and internet trolls, in the hope of building her personal army and getting her name in the papers just one more time. Kelly suffers from a rare form of narcissism, where her self-esteem is so low, she can only assuage her feelings of inadequacy and impotent rage by basking in the narcissism of others.

After spending her youth with the elite internet early adopters, she moved on to classier digs. After spending years begging for ops in exclusive EFNET irc clubs, she has finally run out of Bottles, and has moved on to more fertile grounds for attention whoring. File:Vagina can.gif auditioning for

When the attention generated from being BFFs with Sabu, Neal Rauhauser, or the jester begins to wane, or her target becomes too weak to fight past the gigantic spiders in her cobweb infested cave, she simply narcs them out to the partyvan, collects her thirty pieces of silver, and slimes her way onto the next target.

Sabu

in 2011, just before his surprise buttsex, Kelly attached herself to Lulzsec hacker Sabu like a metamucil-encrusted barnacle. Taking to her Twitter account with gusto, she defended him and his pals against all critics. In return, Sabu lavished her with his trust, shells, and let her gum his epeen when no other ladies were available for the task. On the fateful day of his arrest, Kelly found herself no longer able to access Sabu's shells, and pitched an epic bitchfit, prematurely dropping both his dox and his SSN. She claimed this was necessary because Sabu threatened to rape her daughter.

Th3j35t3r

Having burned her bridges with Sabu, kelly was less one attention whore to suck up to, so she took her Sabu dox to the Jester camp. Th3j35t3r happily posted Sabu's address on his blog, only six months too late for anyone to care, getting him the attention of the partyvan, a fate that often follows friendship with Kelly Hallissey. The Jester crew welcomed Kelly with open arms, squandering the remnants of their credibility and losing them the few friends they had left.

Sucking up to Neal Rauhauser

After spending a year accusing just about everyone of being a snitch, an epic leak was made via Anonymous, including tapes of Kelly's phone sexing with epic loser/internet punching bag Neal Rauhauser, and emails of Kelly frantically trying to Narc out everyone to the FBI before being narced on herself. This led to an epic race between Kelly, Neal, and Tom Ryan trying to all be the first to throw the others under the bus.

When not engaged in sucking up to criminal narcissists, Kelly battles a growing army of terrorist stalkers, all of whom want to rape her.

OMGSTALKERS

Given her advanced age, Kelly suffers from menopause induced paranoid rage, and the delusion that everyone, everywhere is "stalking" her. When her narcissist gauge starts to tip toward empty, she can be counted on to be the victim of attempted rape, stalking, hitmen, rape, attempted murder, more rape, swatting, and rape threats. If crying about all the rape doesn't rile up the personal army, she drags her poor abused children into it. Everyone wants to rape Kelly's kids, even terrorists!

Quotes:

"I know all the Swatters"

"I can and have, made people disappear never to be seen again."

"Reapersec is trying to hire a hit man to rape me and my 14 year old daughter!"

"I got swatted but I'm not allowed to prove it."

"" (Kelly on Anonops bragging about child abuse)

Sabu Foonet quote

etc.

Links:

rape: http://www.webhostingtalk.com/archive/index.php/t-423398.html http://www.securityfocus.com/news/9411 http://par-anoia.net/incoming/us/Incoming_Call-Neal_Rauhauser-20120916-164632.mp3 http://kxf72d7sq56d72h4.onion.to/kelly.pdf

Log fun:

[14:55] <Bratty> Listen up [14:55] <machaveli> yall think my life is some fucking joke [14:55] <Bratty> and listen closely [14:55] <machaveli> k? [14:55] <machaveli> dont threaten me plz [14:55] <Bratty> you started a whole mess of shit with a whole mess of people [14:55] <Bratty> including me [14:55] <machaveli> how? [14:55] <machaveli> by doing what? [14:55] <machaveli> plz do tell me [14:55] <Bratty> by telling everyone i snitched on nery and bladex [14:55] <machaveli> I DIDNT SAY THAT [14:55] <Bratty> and that I film my home for the feds [14:55] <machaveli> your buddy venial did [14:55] <Bratty> THEY PASTED IT TO ME [14:55] <machaveli> cause hes a fucking narc ass bitch [14:55] <machaveli> lie some more kelly [14:55] <machaveli> lie lie lie [14:55] <Bratty> NONE of us are narcs [14:55] <machaveli> bullshit [14:55] <machaveli> *cough* [14:55] <machaveli> all of you are [14:56] <machaveli> you tried to be my friend [14:56] <Bratty> You keep tripping out over shit that isn't even happening [14:56] <Bratty> none of us [14:56] <machaveli> and then kept calling my parents [14:56] <Bratty> are doing anything to you [14:56] <machaveli> trying to ruin my fucking life [14:56] <Bratty> your parents called ME [14:56] <machaveli> and you succeeded [14:56] <machaveli> well i dont care [14:56] <machaveli> stop talking to them [14:56] <machaveli> i can make my own decisions [14:56] <machaveli> im doing nothing wrong [14:56] <machaveli> i smoke weed? [14:56] <Bratty> the only person you have to thank for your life being a fucking mess is yourself [14:56] <machaveli> boo hoo [14:56] <machaveli> ya right [14:56] <Bratty> and your refusal to stay in the hospital [14:56] <machaveli> coming to live with you [14:56] <Bratty> and get better [14:56] <machaveli> was the biggest fucking mistake ever [14:56] <machaveli> EVER [14:56] <machaveli> my life has been a piece of shit since [14:57] <machaveli> it was never that bad before [14:57] <machaveli> you ruint my fucking life [14:57] <machaveli> thanks alot [14:57] <Bratty> you were off your meds PRIOR to coming here [14:57] <Bratty> you trashed my house [14:57] <machaveli> ive spent my whole summer in and out of hospitals [14:57] <Bratty> fucked up my garage door [14:57] <machaveli> cause im so crazy? [14:57] <Bratty> bled all over the god damned place [14:57] <Bratty> and broke shit [14:57] <machaveli> fuck your garage door [14:57] <machaveli> i ran into it with a bike [14:57] <machaveli> i cleaned your gd trap house everyday [14:57] <machaveli> who pays for that [14:57] <machaveli> the fbi

14:22 <@RonniELF> Hai Bratty 14:23 <@RonniELF> ltns 14:23 < Bratty> grid cut the shit out 14:23 < Bratty> and i mean now 14:23 <+\knubbze\> nice shit 14:23 <@RonniELF> Bratty you get him girl ! 14:23 <+\knubbze\> bratty isnt even here 14:23 < Bratty> because if I have to get matt back to his dc now 14:23 < Bratty> to deal with you 14:23 <+\knubbze\> Bratty: nice attn whoring here 14:23 < Bratty> that box will be toasted

Aug 16 22:07:30 <Bratty>http://www.cnn.com/2011/TECH/web/08/15/mafiaboy.hacker/index.html Aug 16 22:07:40 <d1zzY>thz_nmr: don't ask dumb questions! Aug 16 22:07:52 <d1zzY>Bratty: !! Aug 16 22:07:53 *sp0rk ([email protected]) has joined #school4lulz Aug 16 22:07:53 <Bratty>looks like hes using statements about lulz/anon to help promote his new book lol Aug 16 22:08:05 <Bratty>lets go card another 100 pink dildos to his house:D

[22:05] <~Fox> Anyways, lets get started with the base level that you all will probably be working with which will be trojans. [22:05] <~Fox> Anyone here fuckin with a trojan right now? [22:05] * WebAnon19871 ([email protected]) has joined #school4lulz [22:06] <~Fox> Anybody? [22:06] <greatvon> yea [22:06] <~Fox> What you fucking with son? [22:06] <@Bratty> on this hd no ;x

(9:57:29 PM) Virus: I'm not saying you're the snitch, I simply said you were sending out emails with his dox when you were supposedly his friend?