User:Kleetus/LolcowLive
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ATTENTION! You can help by trolling the shit out of them whenever you see them, then laughing at their lulz-inducing theatrics.
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During the latter half of 2023, the resident Jewish gnome of YouTube, Keemstar had the brilliant idea of "milking" two washed up fat e-celebs (it was initially going to be three, but the third one chickened out) on a podcast before their hearts inevitably explodes. The podcast consists of Boogie2988, WingsofRedemption, Tommy C SFTP and for the live episodes Keemstar would also feature in it. The one and only redeeming factor of this festering steaming pile of crap is the colorful cast of side characters and the ensuing antics they bring onto the show.
The cast
Boogie2988 or simply Boogie, the lazy narcissist who can never take responsibility for his constant lying and bad decisions. He burned his YouTube career to dust slowly over many years and will likely never make a full comeback or at the very least a comeback good enough to pay off his debts. Got embroiled in controversy for getting a girlfriend 30 years younger than him, which is still more than what you've got going for yourself at least. When he's not caught up in his own lies or lazy antics, he's arguably the most boring part of the main cast. The only funny thing he ever did was get on his hands and knees to beg Keemstar for forgiveness and arguably for finally mowing his own damn lawn for a change. Lost a boxing match against fellow fat fuck and co-host WingsofRedemption as well.
WingofRedemption or simply Wings, is the rage pig who many are familiar with for losing his temper many a time on stream and breaking controllers. He is also known for pussying out of a camping trip with his old friends from the PKA Podcast. For a time he held the show hostage by threatening to quit if his stringent rules weren't applied to the stream chat and subreddit, as calling Mr. Wings a pedophile really gets under his skin for some reason. Keemstar eventually conceded to his demands and censored everything Wings requested him to censor. Won a boxing match against the fatter retard Boogie2988.
Tommy C, is the phil-in for the would be co-host of the podcast DSP who somehow had the sense to stay the fuck away from this coming train wreck of a podcast. His whole shtick is being a loud mouth asshole New Yorker type who yells over everyone and disrupts the flow of conversation with constant insults. He's mostly Keemstar's slave to keep the two fat cows on a tight leash so they don't meander off of the ranch. DISREGARD THAT, HE QUIT AND SCAMMED KEEMSTAR OUT OF SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS AND THE WORST PART IS THAT NOBODY CARES!
Keemstar, the turbo-jew and the real lolcow of the show known for putting 80% of the content behind a paywall, because he really needs another room to collect his manbaby video games in. Forces drama between the 'cows and guests on the livestream to milk donations out of the stupid saps who watch the slop they shit out twice weekly. Doesn't make any appearances on the once weekly pre-recorded shows. Currently looking for a new show host after the last one scammed him and quit.
Friends and Foes
Shoenice, the guy on YouTube famous for eating copious amounts of inedible objects such as glue, matchsticks and stickers as well as being a severe alcoholic. Recently made a guest appearance on both types of episodes and then subsequently burned a bridge with the show by getting trolled by fake Discord accounts pretending to be the show hosts who were insulting him in direct messages. Seems to be a fan favorite for some reason, perhaps glue eating is a shared passion with the audience?
OnlyUseMeBlade, another washed-up Call of Duty YouTuber and severe alcoholic known for drinking a lot on livestream and getting racist with it and even partaking in a little sexual assault as well. He is frequently requested to appear during the live shows.
The Thorps, a father and daughter duo renowned for being in a family that's dysfunctional in more than one way. Ben Thorp is both a wife and child beater and lusts after his own daughter in a strange toxic relationship. Grace Thorp is the oldest daughter of Ben and is desperately trying to be e-famous and failing at it spectacularly. She is also cultivating the incestuous tones with her father. The audience frequently flips back and forth between wanting them back on and hating their guts.
ReviewTechUSA, is a fellow fat fuck lolcow failure who keeps coming on the show to bore the audience with the stupid drama he has with the editor he recently fired. His greatest enemy is not knowing how to use tech ironically. There is always at least one person in chat demanding he gets brought into the live shows
Ethan Ralph, came onto one of the live shows to call Boogie and Wings pedophiles and sick fucks for several minutes. No seriously thats all he did during his entire appearance besides threatening them with a fight. Boogie bizarrely compliments Ralph at a later point for the "good work for losing all that weight". For further reading on this individual please check out his page here on ED.
Wings007, the notorious WingsofRedemption troll account went onto the show to prove definitively that Wings was a sexual predator of some sort and then subsequently making a complete fool of himself much to the audience's surprise. He ended up making Wings look like a good guy. He also was exposed as trauma dumping in Wings' wife's direct messages, where it was discovered that YouTube doesn't pay enough to keep up child support payments. There's a lesson to be learned here to maybe watch the lolcows and not get obsessed with them lest you become as deranged as the likes of Chris-chan.
Connor, also known as the old editor that had frequent fights with Keemstar over his shitty editing and general laziness and it was all live on air no less! Keemstar eventually made it a big deal of firing him to force more clicks onto the shitty podcast. Connor leaked the scoop of his firing to another YouTuber which really pissed Keemstar off.
Flaming Star, or better known as Boogie's crackpot fake Indian shaman was initially trying to "cure" Boogie of his fatness by giving him mushrooms and guiding him through a bunch of retarded white woman spirituality bullshit until Boogie scammed him out of some Magic the Gathering cards. From that point forward he became Boogie's sworn nemesis and subsequently vandalized Boogie's house by throwing a metal plate through one of his windows and spray painting "Pedphile" (exact spelling used) and "Thief" onto his garage doors.
Why the show sucks
Not only is Keemstar charging 10 bucks for a shitty Discord to have the privilege to talk to other lolcow obsessed weirdos, you the audience member literally get no extra content besides the unedited live shows (that you could probably pirate somehow, wink wink). Who seriously has the money to burn in this economy anyways? Boogie is pretty much braindead and never has anything interesting to say and constantly complains that he's going to die soon. Funnily enough Wings has a much better reception on the show despite being a tried and true lolcow for much longer than his co-host. You're definitely better off figuring out some way to pirate this since you definitely don't have a friend to mooch off of to get your parasocial e-celeb fix.
New Character Arcs for the Cast
Recently it has been unveiled that Boogie is unsurprisingly a liar and was faking having cancer. He almost certainly picked a bunch a random obscure cancer diagnoses off of WebMD and then drawing names out of a two liter of Mountain Dew bottle. He was then confronted by the Indian tech support SomeOrdinaryGamers, along with other clout whores who don’t actually care he lied about having cancer and are instead chasing YouTube ad bucks like a true snake blooded Jew. Others who jumped into the fray were avowed libtard commie terrorist Destined to be the Cuck Bonnell and ED wiki page content thief and actual cancer patient Jim, the Internet Aristocrat. Around the same time the good ol’ southern boy Wings exposed himself for liking BBC Shemale porn, as he didn’t want to miss out on getting shat upon by the audience.
After the revelations of the Boogster faking cancer, he was forced into doing some character development by his slave master. This included donating his life’s savings to dying children with cancer, getting “Liar” tattooed upon his corpulent face and getting pelted by water balloons in a public humiliation ritual. He later on sabotaged his face tattoo by scrubbing it with peroxide to fade it out and then keeping it covered with his nasty facial hair. The most trying of his tasks, however was being forced to pick up trash for two hours live on the side of the road during the brutal summer heat in Arkansas. He also drank piss out of a bottle for five bucks from a superchat like a cheap whore, so he could go home early.
Simultaneously, Keemstar was on the hunt for a new host for the show with no luck. This is because the previous host quit the show and scammed him out of several thousand dollars and nobody seems to care. The few test candidates that have tried out so far have all either been tech illiterate or just as retarded as the two fat cows. Wings as well went through his typical cycle of bullshit. First with saying he could do the water balloon torture test much better than Boogie. Then comes the expected talking big game only to bitch out and half assing it. (Perhaps it’s still full assing it considering his weight?) Cue a huge blowout argument between Keemstar and Wings, with Keem threatening to fire him over his own poor communication skills and Wings “betraying the fans”.
What to expect when you give money to this shitshow
- Not to have your superchat read unless it’s twenty dollars or more.
- Have stream time wasted with talking about gay interpersonal drama between the losers on their Discord server.
- Neither of the two cows to put that money to good use and lose some weight.
- The distinguished privilege of being able to talk to the cows on Discord.
- Fuel Keemstar’s coke addiction.
- Keep cancer patients on life support.
- Make sure McDonald's and Pizza Hutt stays in business.
- Permanently miss out on using that money on something much better like Hookers and Blow or more Hentai games for your Steam library.