User:Anna/Courtney Stodden

HOW DOES I FACE

Courtney Stodden is a 16-year-old whore who looks forty and is married to a corpse. She weighs about 50 pounds and maintains her athletic figure by making sure she always throws up the cornflake she ate for breakfast. She is a self-proclaimed "Model, Singer, Actress, Reality Star, Animal Activist, Hostess, Dancer and Doug's girl. xxx" In other words, nothing that actually requires a brain. It's evident that she doesn't have one considering that anyone who did would never marry the scuzzbag who's currently her sugar daddy, Doug Hutchison.

There aren't enough punches in the world.

In addition to an annoying fucking face and total absence of personality, she wanted to let the whole world know that she also has an absence of talent, which she proved by uploading this horrific shitpocalypse of noise, which studies have shown to be the #1 cause of sudden death. She doesn't sing so much as she makes noises like an asthmatic duck might.

If your ears and/or eyes haven't started bleeding yet, please watch the following.

Hello Courtney     “   Hello Kitty spoof   „     —Courtney - thinking that everyone who sees this will be as stupid as her

History

Courtney is a good Christian girl who showed a natural talent for performance arts at a young age. She met her current husband Doug at an acting workshop (read, the casting couch, probably the same one Jamie-Lynn Spears conceived her baby on) then had a online romance for four months.

But it was totes okay, because he never talked abotu teh secks with her! Hell, the parents even signed her permission slip to get married to him!

Fake Ass Melons

She appeared on that hack Dr. Drew's show, in which they did an ultrasound to determine whether or not she actually had breast implants, since she either lies or forgets when asked. The ultrasound revealed a suspicious circular mass which was obviously the implant, but the vapid bimbo insisted it didn't exist. To avoid a shitfest erupting, the technician made up a lame excuse about it maybe being a bone (lol) and they called it a day.

See Also

• Bimbo
• Golddigger

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